Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Scorched earth. And teasing out new life from it.

I spent the end of 2012 trying to burn out any internal demons in hopes of beginning 2013 like a Phoenix rising from the ashes of my victory. Instead what I woke up to was a landscape of scorched earth. I still have grand hopes for 2013, but I'm starting it off on a much less positive note than I had hoped. In fact, the last few days have just been really difficult, on a number of levels. First, there's me, and my attempts at self-improvement that are varyingly successful. Then there's Betty the Beagle, who has been pretty sick since I got back from St. Louis last Wednesday. And my fear about hat that means is pretty huge. Then there's just life in general, and the fact that as you get older nothing really does get easier. Hopefully you just get better at dealing with the general stuff of life. Again, that's also something I'm been varyingly successful at.

I am not one for resolutions, but this year I am one for looking at the demarcation line between December 2012 and January 2013 as a place to gain greater strength and acceptance. In many ways I already lead a healthy and productive lifestyle, but there are some areas that are in great need of improvement and I am dedicated to making those changes. I guess maybe I'm finally at a point where I realize half my life is probably behind me so looking to my future is an ever shrinking window and I want to see the most in it before it shuts entirely.

No comments: