Wednesday, September 18, 2013

So much to sort through, so many to feel for.

My mom and my Aunt Diane; off to cause trouble, no doubt.
Today would be my Aunt Diane's birthday, if she hadn't lost her battle with cancer a few days ago. Aunt Diane—for some reason I can't separate the title from the name in my head—was also my godmother. She was also the "artist" in my mom's family, and I am reasonably certain that it was her influence—along with my parents' support of their weird kid—that kindled my creativity and set me on the path I ended up traveling down over the last four decades.

Aunt Diane has had cancer off and on for over a decade, so her passing comes with the positive note that she is no longer in pain. I saw my dad fall to cancer in an incredibly short period of time so I can't imagine what it would be like to wage that war for years and years. 

I generally don't deal with death well. I tend to go blank, and whatever emotional response there is—and there always is one—tends to creep up on me and catch me by surprise. I'm sure it's some sort of defense mechanism I unknowingly put in place long ago, so at the moment I don't have any real feelings to sort through as far as my Aunt Diane's actual death. But I am in pain over her family's situation. Within hours of her passing away, her husband—my uncle—got news that his own brother had passed away as well. And my mom had a trip planned to spend time with my Aunt Diane and missed her passing by days; she is still heading down there today to help in whatever capacity she can. Oh, and of course she was my mom's little sister and, I think, her best friend in the whole world so I can't imagine what that's doing to my mom.

And did I mention that just a few days before all of this GalPal's granny passed away too?

It's been a hell of a week.


Anonymous said...

Hey man, i don't know you but my thoughts go to you and your family.
Hug from france

Tankboy said...

Thanks, it's appreciated!