Thursday, February 25, 2016

Keeping odd hours.

Current view.
Most nights I'm asleep by 10 p.m. or so. But then I'm up again at 2 a.m. or so. And can't get back to sleep. So that means I spend a lot of time in the twilight, silent hours that see no movement; at least near my house. I see turbulence through my social feeds—recognizing many I know are still actively working, even, in jobs that often start at 11 p.m.—and I feel disconnected. So much activity while I feel held in suspension.

I am no longer part of that life. And haven't been for quite a while. But I'm also still unable to adapt my sleep schedule to that which an average person would call "normal." The plus side is that it allows me to take in an immense amount of TV, RSS feeds, and catch up on reading those physical things called "books"—but the down side is that weird disconnection of feeling you're the only person on earth for one fifth of the day.


I actually just looked through the music on my computer, searching for something to sort of tie this together. End this fragment of an observation in something that felt like a conclusion, even if it was clumsy, since I can't quite find where this particular thought is supposed to land in any way that feels satisfactory. But nothing hit home. Felt right. Felt appropriate.

Maybe I'm forcing it. Let's try again.


Nope. No song feels right.

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