Thursday, August 17, 2017

No matter how tired you get, you can't really sleep.

I’m just so tired and sluggish so much of the time lately. Yes, part of it is a summer cold that won’t quit, but I’m beginning to think I’m starting to just grow weary to my bones about so many things I feel powerless over.

The past year plus has been a real wake up call for my belief that people are basically rational and good. I still think the vast majority of people are good, but the amount of misinformation people believe, primarily because they are not driven by any sort of curiosity that challenges their own world view, is staggering. And I don’t mean that in an overly simplistic “people that don’t agree with me are dumb” sort of way. But I do think a large part of the problems we are having right now is that people don’t want to ever look beyond their own perceived self-interest, or consider anything that challenges that particular perception, even when their actions are clearly not in support of their own self-interest. I know, it’s dizzying. And as someone who thrives on being a communicator it’s triply frustrating to not be able to clearly convey these things in ways that sway other people to at least consider a different way of thinking.

Look, I am not perfect. And I’m smart enough to realize that the older I get the less I know. And that’s not because I’m getting dumber (though I’m sure my wife and close friends might giggle a little at that claim of “not getting dumber”), but because I see the world as less and less a two-sided affair of right vs. wrong or us vs. them or whatever and more as constantly shifting tableaux where I wish people would work on constricting a balanced way of living and not a beachhead from which to constantly wage war.

So, yeah, I’m just getting worn down. Maybe I’m sluggish because I’m fighting so hard against withdrawing; realizing I have to continue to engage. It really is just bone-crushingly exhausting, but there really is no other way.

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