Top Ten Freakish Things About Me…right now…
This list can, and usually does, gain additions almost daily.

1. I think I’m going bald. I’ve been worrying about this since my early twenties and whenever I share this fear with my stylist – yes, my stylist so shut the fuck up right now motherfucker – she laughs at me like I’m insane. Because I am. Because my hair is really, really thick. I’m just a worrywart.

2. Speaking of worrying, I can’t leave the house without making sure the stove is off. Sometimes I don’t realize this until I’ve driven blocks away and have to turn back. The upside is that Betty the Beagle acts as if I’ve been gone for hours and smothers me with love as I try to make my way to the kitchen…to make sure the god-damned stove is off!

3. When I go to a movie I HAVE to have a small bag of popcorn and a medium soda. If someone buys me a medium or – God forbid – a LARGE bag of popcorn I can’t eat it and it kind of ruins the whole experience for me. Freakish? Yes, but this IS my list of neuroses, right?

4. I buy new music constantly. Like, if I don’t have something new to listen to almost every day I get really distracted. It’s gotta be terribly unhealthy to think this way but at least I kick total and complete ass at music trivia. Unless you ask me to name an Iron Maiden album. For some reason I completely blank on those titles.

5. I like my job, even when I’m really really busy. I’m on vacation right now and kind of miss it. Now THAT’S sick.

6. I hate asking questions like "where's the bathroom" or "can I substitute this for that" and usually Photogal has to do it for me.It must be some deep-seated male fear of showing any kind of weakness or doubt…which is doubly odd when you consider I pretty much despise anything generally viewed as a deep-seated male trait. I prefer folks to act like themselves and not like an image of what they suppose they should be. I’m getting off track here, aren’t I? So…

7. I can’t kill bugs. Definitely not spiders. I’ll catch them in a cup and carry them outside of my apartment – otherwise Photogal wouldn’t live here – but I can’t kill them. Except those little millipede thingies with a million and a half legs. They move to quickly to really catch and they’re just so completely creepy…but all other bug, cockroaches included, are safe if I’m around.

8. I freak out if someone shuts off a song before it’s over. Like in a car when you pull up some where and shut of the stereo mid-verse? I hate it. The only exception to this rule is in the context of DJing in which case I love the practice. At all other times, though, I just wanna hear the whole song. And yes, I will sit in my car until a song ends if need be.

9. I can’t pee in a trough. I just can’t. No way. No how. Way too much stage-fright to function in that situation. Urinal, yes; trough, no.

10. I can speak fluent Spanish if I’m butt-ass wasted. This must be a throwback to the years I spent living in South Texas where I was surrounded by the language. Back when I worked In a Sushi restaurant I regained almost all my Spanish even in a sober state, but that dissipated in time. So I guess if you want me to order you that burrito in the native tongue it’s time to start pouring cervezas down my throat, no?