Inside my head there’s a woodpecker.

So I’m sitting here, blankly trying to gather my thoughts but finding myself only yawning, and the woodpecker starts up. He must be a relatively new addition to the menagerie of beasties living in my head. Out of nowhere he started tapping, vibrating almost, against my right eardrum. It didn’t hurt. Promise. It was more of a sound sensation than a physical manifestation.

The first person living in my head made himself known when I was three or four. I’d be lying (or is that laying…where’s my style guide?) in bed trying to go to sleep and I’d hear this soft crunch crunch crunch” sound in my ears. At first I couldn’t figure out what it was and it really bothered me. Once I was able to pinpoint the sound’s source though everything was all right. It’s that whole “fear fades in the face of familiarity” thing. The sound was of a man walking along the gravel laid down by some train tracks. He was making this long monotonous journey for the simplest of all reasons: he wanted to produce a soothing sound I could fall asleep to.

I wonder what the woodpecker is supposed to do for me?
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Where's Jessica?

Her site disappeared. Her roommate hasn't seen her. It's a web mystery! Could this new millenial web version of "Where's Laura?"¹ capture the fancy of a nation? Only time will tell!

¹Palmer. Duh