Wednesday, August 17, 2005

In response to a sinful and baldly greedy move.

Dear Robert Rodriguez,

I’m a little pissed.

As we all know I love the Sin City comics and I gushed all over your cinematic adaptation of those books. We also know I’ve been looking forward to the release of the DVD version of Sin City so I could watch it over and over and over again and eat lots of microwave popcorn instead of paying exorbitant prices for refreshments in a movie theater. What had me most excited about the DVD, though, were the extras sure to be included. I knew you had been envisioning the DVD release while shooting the film so I knew all of the extra goodies were already mapped out or in the can prior to the film’s theatrical release. You knew how grown-up fans thought and you were ready to keep us happy.

And then I get the DVD version yesterday and discover all it has is one lame “making of” featurette that probably ran on a dozen entertainment channels a gajillion times already. What the fuck?

And then it hit me. Dimension Films’ marketing department must have kidnapped you and stopped you from giving the fans what they want. Obviously the studio wants our money three times (once in the theater, once for yesterday’s release) and the third way to shaft us is by releasing the souped-up version of the DVD right before the holidays…in three months or so. Fuckers.

But then it hit me again. There’s no way someone could force you to do something you didn’t want to do! A kidnapping was out of the question since, judging by your films, you are such the bad-ass that no jail (or boardroom) can hold you. You quit the fucking Director’s Guild because they wouldn’t go along with you ferchissakes! So what the fuck, man?

What the fuck?

Sincerely,
Tankboy

P.S. I gotta admit though, that I dug the tiny little poster cards given away with the DVD when I bought it at Circuit City yesterday.

P.P.S. Some of my rage will be assuaged if you can work out some scheme whereby DVDs purchased now can be traded in for a discount on the deluxe screw-the-consumers-who-are-actually-fans editions that will be coming out in the next few months.

P.P.P.S. Yes, I did read this "explaination" but dude, that is such a fucking lame excuse.
__________

While I'm being cranky...

I had a lot of fun last night spinning with Rudy up until the last twenty minutes or so. A note to the ladies: I don't care how hot you are, or if you're a lipstick lesbian and your girlfriend just dumped you and you want to tear shit up due to that fact, or if you're out with your lipstick lesbian friend trying to tear shit up to help her forget she was dumped...if I don't have any Abba I can't play any Abba! If I could make it appear out of thin air I would because no one likes seeing two girls dance together more than I. Honest. But insulting my music collection because I don't have any fucking Abba will not help push your other requests to the front of the queue.

__________

Lest you think I'm nothing but cranky today...

This stat for my site made me smile yesterday:


So would that be a numerical palindrome? Or would that just be sophomoric?

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