I am the pledge-frickin’-master!

A few years ago when I first volunteered to help with the local NPR pledge drive I found myself frozen and unable to move the first time the phone I had been stationed at began to ring with a person wishing to donate money at the other end. I make the point that the person on the other end was a) calling me because b) they wanted to donate money because it should help underscore what a useless twit I was that day. You see, the situation immediately threw me back to the days when I was a (miserably failed) telemarketer and even though every logical cell in my body told me I being a moron I still couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone. So, over the last few years, whenever I volunteered for NPR I was the guy they would stick in a corner so I could enter the pledge forms into the computer system.

Well, yesterday I decided it was time to face my fear and actually handle a few phone calls and – aside from a few folks who were calling in to complain¹ and let me know how upset they were that WBEZ cancelled Odyssey – I had a blast! I handled call after call after call and actually found myself enjoying talking to the folks on the other end. My three favorite pledges were as follows:

• To the guy that started yelling, “That’s so frickin’ cool!” when he found out his employer matched his pledge I would like to say; No sir, you are so frickin’ cool for pledging in the first place.
  
  
• I discovered lots of people actually don’t want any of the gifts you get for pledging at certain levels but my favorite guy was the one who turned down a free subscription to The Economist. Why? He asked me if the periodical had a political slant and when I told him that it was actually pretty even keeled in its reporting he said, “If it’s not liberal I don’t want to read it!” Sir, you amused me to no end but you also frustrated me since that attitude is really no better than the person who lives, breathes and swears by FOX News. Thanks for the pledge though!
  
  
• I also got a return phone call from a guy who wanted to make sure I marked that he wanted to extend his subscription to Newsweek that was also being offered as a free premium for anyone paying with credit card. Why did he feel the need to double-check that I had done so? He said, “I was reading this week’s issue and they were really doing a good job of taking the White House to task and they’re just doing such a good job I don’t want to miss a single issue.” Don’t worry sir, I’ve got you covered.

So there you have it. Any day I can overcome an irrational fear that’s embarrassed me for years is a good one. I rock!

UPDATE: I just learned that Photogal's name got read on the air yesterday becasue she made her own pledge during some downtime when the phones were quiet. We didn't hear it but one of her co-workers approached here at work and was all like, "Did you donate money to NPR yesterday because they said your name on the radio and I can't imageine there are too many people name (name withdrawn to protect Photogal's public identity)." Awesome!

¹I did feel badly for one woman who just seemed to get nothing but complaints. And people call in about the weirdest things. For instance one of the on-air personalities was exhorting listeners to make a pledge by saying it would have a more immediate and personal effect than if said listeners were to donate to something else like the Wildlife Fund. It was an incredibly silly thing to say and it was obviously a very tongue in cheek sort of comment but this really threw some folks into a tizzy. Here I would like to add a word of advice to folks who are so easily ruffled by such comments; turn off your radio, it’ll lower you blood pressure.