She's just not that into you.

She's just not that into you.

So last night, I was out with JB, and we ran into some mutual friends, one of whom was a girl I had hit on rather unsubtly* shortly after I became single. Since that initial meeting I have still been friendly with her, since a) well, she's pretty cool and b) we share many of the same friends and c) well, why not? Since that initial meeting I have actually taken pains not to make a pass at her though. I only like looking like a fool once ... until I get to know you and then I pretty much look like a fool all the time.

Well, last night JB and I run into this girl, and within minutes -- through some sort of super-secret female mental telepathy -- JB turns to me and says, "You're never going to land that one. It just ain't gonna happen."

Immediately a list of things ran though my mind.

1. I wasn't trying to get the girl anymore, so what?
2. Wait, why isn't she into me?
3. Wait wait, what is she saying about me that people know she's not into me?
4. My ego! My precious fragile ego!

Here's the thing: I don't mind being turned down, but no one wants to know they have no chance. The possibilty is what drives much instances of male/female interaction, right? No one in their right mind really believes that every girl (or guy) wants him (or her), but we all sort of thrive on the chance that they might. Or at least that they entertain the notion that we're desirable.

So, even when you're no longer after the girl, "she's just not into you" is still a pretty big blow to the ego.

*I out-and-out asked her if she wanted to take me home and she, eyes open wider than a Grecian discus, politely -- and smartly -- turned down my offer.