It's good to remember these things.

I saw a girl today that reminded me of someone I had a huge crush on in the late '90s and early '00s. She was about my age, and pretty but unconventionally attractive.When she's talk to me I'd be all ears, and she'd drag me around with her until a guy she thought was cute would walk in the room whereuponI was promptly forgotten. And I put up with it. Back then I still believed that if you just proved what a nice guy you were a girl would eventually like you. And while this is true in some cases, it's almost never true when you're in your twenties and working in bars or service industry jobs and you're respected but just not cool enough for the bad girls to chase. At that point I wasn't a bad boy. (That came later, for a spell, I'm not wholly proud to admit.)

I ran into this girl again a few months ago and we again hung out in a totally friends-only fashion yet when some guy walked in the room and she stopped talking to me and went to flirt with him it still hurt. It was ludicrous for me to feel that way—not least of all because the woman I'm with is a thousand times smarter and a thousand times hotter than my previous crush—but it just reminded me of what it was like to be a 20-something who was still trying to navigate the world of romance (or at least hooking up without completely embarrassing oneself). Seeing her lookalike today brought up a brief flash of heat which only served to remind me that no matter how old or cool or confident I get, somewhere deep in there's still a fragment of the kid still trying to learn the ways of the world. It's actually a really good thing to be reminded of, I think.