70. He'd be 70 today.

Check out that handsome young fellow!

Today is my dad's birthday and had he lived to see it he would be 70 years old. That's pretty mind-bending to me. The fact that I would have had a parent in their 70s? What?!

I don't really know what to write beyond that. I mean, by this point I am able to spend most of my time just not really noticing my dad of gone gone, and can occupy a mental space that leans on the notion that maybe I'm away at school and will see him over the holidays, whenever we both get the time. Days like his birthday force me to once again face that I can't even call to wish him "happy birthday" much less check in on him over Thanksgiving or Christmas.

I'm pretty sure this is as easy as it gets, which is to say not easy at all, but it's a burden or sadness I can at least bear without fear of being crushed by it. And that's a good thing, right? I think my dad would think so.