Getting there.

I keep worrying I’m going to have a heart attack and no one will realize it for days since I live alone. Any time my chest tightens I’m convinced it’s time, which of course leads me think my arm is getting numb and the anxiety just builds. Does this happen to everyone? Or am I just a weirdo? Even as I write this now my chest feels like it’s being squeezed, but I’m probably just getting worked up over nothing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mortality lately, and the choices I’ve  made and what I’ve done with my life thus far. I’ve accomplished a lot, but being middle-aged forces to to really evaluate your position in the world and in relation to the people around you. I think of mistakes I’ve made in relationships and how I don’t want to repeat them. And I'm getting there.

And I don't want to have a heart attack.