One year later.

This is a tough time for me. This time last year my marriage was imploding. I was basically living in our basement when we should have been celebrating our first holiday season in our first house. Instead I was being self-centered with no clue of what was coming around the corner. I wasn’t even allowed to attend our first Thanksgiving and had to spend the day and evening in the suburbs until the festivities at our home had drawn to a close.  If I could go back in time I would have slapped myself silly and told myself to wise up and realize just how good my life actually was.

Instead I kept barreling down the path of alienating my wife, and less than a month later I’d get the email from her that divorce papers were on the way.

I should have done more to fight for my marriage when it was still salvageable, but of course I didn’t realize how bad things were until it was too late and there was no solution left for us, other than painfully moving on to separate lives. Make no mistake, divorce is a two-way street, but I take full responsibility for my half of the equation.

While this time is tough, I’m also grateful that we both made it through what was truly a hellish year. I’m happy that my ex has found happiness and stability through friends and relationships both old and new, and I’ve been striving to do the same thing. I also hope that through all of this I’ve managed to become more self-aware, so that I don’t repeat the mistakes of my past. There simply isn’t enough time in my life left for me to do that again, and I’d rather focus on making myself a better person and the world around me a better place.