It was 75 years ago...

My dad would have been 75-years-old today.

On this day I always revisit the thoughts my brother Sean put together for my dad's funeral 15 years ago. Wow, that seems like forever ago, but at times it also feels like yesterday. I could've really used my dad's perspective and advice over the last 2 years, since some of the things he struggled with at times probably most closely approximated some of my own struggles.

This is one of those posts that has gone through a bunch of different variations since I started writing it after waking up this morning. So here are a few snippets that survived, that didn't end up being too depressing, or self-centered.

In some ways we were very, very different people, but as time has gone by I am often struck by parallels in both history and actions that can't be denied. My dad was the first to teach me parents are human and fallible, but that only gave me perspective on life and never stopped me from looking up to him, no matter what our differences were.

Losing a parent sucks. Since my dad left I've seen plenty of other friends lose parents and I'm always tortured by the understanding that there is nothing I can do or say to lessen their pain, aside from letting them know everything they are feeling is valid, and terrible, and crushing, and that while it will never disappear, the pain will grow more manageable.

I'd still like to think that at my darkest moments over the last few years, he was the one looking down on me and offering me the tiny pushes that kept me from completely giving into the abyss. I certainly took his example of perseverance, no matter what life throws at you, to heart. He was human, but he always did whatever was needed to keep our family afloat, even in the most financially challenging times.

Sean's piece quotes something I wrote that year, and it still does a really good job of encapsulating my feelings, even 15 years later. So go read that, and help me celebrate my dad for all the positive impact he had on his family and friends. I'm no longer sure at all what kind of legacy I'll end up leaving behind—too much is still in flux for me, and I'm kind of starting over from square one—but I hope whatever I end up leaving behind would make my dad proud.