A random hike through my morning brain.

I don’t know about you but I’m still getting my bearings. The last couple of years have held so much change (from the personal to the international) that I know I am a somewhat different person. Though I often wonder if I’m just returning to the core person I’ve always been; the one that somehow managed to survive despite being pushed into the background over the years. Whenever I am confused as to why when I meet two people at the same time, one person immediately likes me as a human while the other can’t stand me, I have always reckoned that the one being nice to me sees the painfully nice guy buried deep inside all the protective layers I’ve accumulated over the years. Then again, I have grown to believe that the layers of protection I built up were pretty easy to see through or bypass for most people, when they wanted to.

Does any of that make any sense?

I am really trying to get back to a more regular cadence of public writing, because I think it was that constant process that helped keep me tenuously tethered to the world in the more out-of-control periods in my life. These days there's no drama and therefore no more out-of-control periods, and if anything I worry I keep too much in my head, mistakenly keeping it to myself because I don't think I can get it exactly right, and I fear being misinterpreted.

But isn't fear of misinterpretation built into the core elements of writing? You're always taking a chance you'll look like a fool or worse, any time you try and write something honestly. And while I can certainly bend words to my will, I continue to be driven by honesty in my written output, so I'm always putting my neck out there. And in recent years I think I was rightfully cautious as I decided how I wanted to proceed.

I'm getting there. And as always, if you're reading this sentence right now, you haven't a clue how appreciative I am of your existence and that you'd spend a few seconds/minutes with me in your brain, hopefully helping both of us feel a little more seen in this world.