Are you one of the vast number of folks who have pledged that January 1 is the moment when you decide to get healthier and start going to the gym? If so, I honestly congratulate you and hope you do end up making it a permanent part of your daily routine. However I ask that you do NOT become a Resolutionary. These are the folks that swarm into the gym from January through February, slowly disappearing over that time span, and generally fuck things up for everyone else. So I’ve decided to pass along a few tips to help you from becoming a Resolutionary. These are the sorts of things I never see in magazine articles about "fulfilling your new year's resoultions at the gym" that flood pages (and pageviews) this time of the year, so I hope you find this helpful.
Limit your time on the machines. If the place is packed, spending more than 30 minutes on a treadmill or elliptical machine is just unforgivably rude. Also, please note that you will get far more benefit from exercising against high resistance / at a higher speed for 20 minutes than you will for languidly moving your legs back and forth / strolling for 60 minutes. Just because you spend a lot of time on a machine does not necessarily equate to you actually getting fit.
Gym crushes are 100% OK to have and 100% NOT OK to act upon.
* We all have gym crushes, usually on the cute boy(s) or girl(s) who work out around the same schedule you do. You admire their efforts, you admire their looks, you admire your dedication, and you admire all of this from a distance. Everyone knows people check each other out at a gym, c’mon, we’re all wearing little to no clothing for the most part, and we're all fighting to look and feel our best so there's definite a sense of community bubbling under there, but it is a social contract that we never creep each other out by actually acknowledging it while working out.
Speaking of social contracts, when you’re changing in the locker room, especially if it’s a high traffic time of day like early morning or right after work, please try to be cognizant of the space you take up. Most locker rooms are small but they have plenty of room for everyone to do their pre- or post-workout thing. This is not the time to lay your towel over some stools, your gym bag across some others, and sit in yet another while clipping your toenails.
Finally, do a little research before you go to the gym. Plan out what your workout will look like and check out how to work machines either at a library or online. Believe me, I remember when I started going to the gym and I know if can be a little overwhelming. Instead of wandering around slightly scared and confused though, a little preparation ahead of time can remove a lot of stress and pressure that may ultimately turn you off to working out at all.
So there you have it, a few super simple starting points to use if you want to avoid becoming a Resolutionary. Again, if you want to get healthier, I think that’s terrific and offer you my unending support. Just please try and remember to remain courteous to your fellow gym members while pursuing your goal.
BONUS TIP: I’ve talked about it before, and I’m sure I’ll talk about it again, but if you have an iPhone a terrific little tool to help you keep track of and attain your fitness goals is the
LoseIt! app.
*One of my crushes was recently ruined when I finally saw her boyfriend and realized she was dating a complete douchebag. Of course then I had to step back and wonder how many guys have a gym crush on GalPal only to see me walk up to her, disappointing them that SHE is dating a complete douchebag.
Do you? Of course you do! What a silly question. One of my absolute favorite new local groups is playing tonight at Martyrs'. Their name is Clip Art and you should become acquainted with them; your life will be better for it. If you like super catchy stuff a la '70s rawk a la kinda like Paul McCartney / Wings if either truly had balls a la Jellyfish with none of that resulting stiffness a la just really good fucking tunes ripped out by a band you simultaneously wanna kiss and punch then you should not miss their show tonight.
Today is one of those days where seriously, nothing has slowed down. High velocity all the way baby. That's why I'll be happy to take a brief respite tonight at Schubas for the CHIRP "First Time" reading series.
So it's time for a quarterly check-in of all the places you can find me online. Well, not ALL of the places, but all of the places I tend to post unique content. Sometimes I do cross and duplicate something here or there across platforms, but for the most part I try to tailor what I post / write / rant about to the appropriate online venue.
It is no secret that sports do not connect with me like they do with the majority of the population. I tried to get into them for much of my first 16 or so years on the planet but I'm missing whatever gene it is that allows that particular strain of fandom to take root. However I will admit to feeling a little envious that so many people can get so passionate and deeply invested in activities that have absolutely zero real effect on their world. I don't mean that in a condescending way, I swear. I am a fellow who has difficulty really losing his shit over anything so I am honestly in awe that there is something out there that can effect so many and cause them to completely lose their minds.
GalPal is going out of town for the weekend, so of course I am planning and anticipating a Saturday night full of beer, bourbon and falling asleep on my couch with a slice of pizza in my lap as the sun comes up. Good times!
All this week GalPal has been struggling with getting up early and going to the gym in the morning before work.* And every morning she just hasn't been able to do it. And that's OK. And I mean that for everyone. Some folks just are not built to be up and productive too early in the day. I know for years and years I wasn't. I've never needed much sleep, so that helps, but once upon a time you couldn't drag me out of bed before 7 a.m. Once you get into an early a.m. routine, though, it's easy to keep it up, but I still think the hardest part of even doing that is getting out of the bed and NOT feeling like a zombie (who wants to crawl right back into bed) for the first five minutes. Since we don't all have robots to deliver us coffee the second our alarm goes off (and if you do, may I borrow use of it?) here's a certified Tankboy Tip (trademark pending) for keeping things going once you launch yourself (or roll) out from under your comfy bed.
Are you one of the vast number of folks who have pledged that January 1 is the moment when you decide to get healthier and start going to the gym? If so, I honestly congratulate you and hope you do end up making it a permanent part of your daily routine. However I ask that you do NOT become a Resolutionary. These are the folks that swarm into the gym from January through February, slowly disappearing over that time span, and generally fuck things up for everyone else. So I’ve decided to pass along a few tips to help you from becoming a Resolutionary. These are the sorts of things I never see in magazine articles about "fulfilling your new year's resoultions at the gym" that flood pages (and pageviews) this time of the year, so I hope you find this helpful.
Gym crushes are 100% OK to have and 100% NOT OK to act upon.* We all have gym crushes, usually on the cute boy(s) or girl(s) who work out around the same schedule you do. You admire their efforts, you admire their looks, you admire your dedication, and you admire all of this from a distance. Everyone knows people check each other out at a gym, c’mon, we’re all wearing little to no clothing for the most part, and we're all fighting to look and feel our best so there's definite a sense of community bubbling under there, but it is a social contract that we never creep each other out by actually acknowledging it while working out.
Today is the first day most folks, including me, are heading back into work after a short vacation. I feel great. In fact I feel even more rested and ready to get back into the thick of things than I did after going to Jamaica early last month. I feel positive and recharged. It's a good feeling to start off the first Monday of a new year, methinks.