Hi, I am the image below. Tankboy is an idiot and made me all tiny so please click on me to make me larger. I promise I won't make any stupid jokes in some sophomoric vein where I center on the whole "clicking" thing preceding the "making larger" thing. I promise. Just do it.



Seriously. The crowd last week was outtasite and this week -- judging by the buzz / e-mails / comments tossed my way -- promises to be even bigger. Be there.

You might think that by posting the above I am in some way going back on yesterday's promise but I'm not. What I'm actually doing is cluing you in to something that will make your life immeasurably better.

Please be there or I'll have to drop a cougar on you.

Okay, that made little to no sense. I have to stop trying to write thirty seconds after I roll out of bed...

Quicker than Speedy Gonzalez.

Let’s see...Friday I was kind of evil.¹ Saturday I was kind of good.² And Sunday I was just right out domestic. Yup, that pretty much wraps up my weekend. Tune in tomorrow for something that isn’t so vague and lame!

P.S. When one decides to tackle 52 Books In 52 Weeks one probably shouldn’t pick the only writer that one actually reads at the same speed as an average citizen³ otherwise one will find that in the month of February one will have to double up on one’s intake of non-self-written material.

¹Certain people should just not be allowed to bartend since they are a serious threat to anyone’s (read: my) sobriety. Not that that’s any sort of excuse but at least it lends a touch of context.Oh, who am I kidding?
²My friends needn’t have worried, since even I know how to behave of a “sports bar” far outside my usual stomping grounds. Also, I would never misbehave during a friend’s birthday party. Apparently some folks were worried anyway. By the way, Kelly, I had a lovely time and thanks for inviting me.
³D.F.W.’s Consider The Lobster, for those of you keeping track at home. Even though I’ve read it before, for some reason the essay about “Authority And American Usage” took me forever to get through this time.

PSA rawk stylee.

Wow, these mixes are getting more and more popular! Yesterday's mix is temporarily off-line but I'll let you know as soon as I get it back on later today.

It's back so download the mix here!

Also, later today, look for up now is a preview of tonight's Bon Mots and Brad Peterson show at Double Door!

Seriously, do it now.

Read this. It will take you all of two minutes and you will be laughing for about two of those minutes.

So Photogal, is my stuff in storage or a landfill? Tell me!

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A day filled with possiblities!

This is almost enough to make me want to become a full-time booking agent for these three groups so that this never happens again. How is God's name did three of my favorite local bands get shows booked on the exact same night?! How am I supposed to choose between them?!!!

Tonight at Schuba's
The Ladies & Gentlemen

Tonight at The Metro
The Assembly

Tonight at Subterranean
Milk At Midnight

How do I choose one over the other? Auuuugh!

Oh wait a minute...tonight is my little brother's birthday too! I have a solution! Since family trumps all rock and/or roll obligations (hard to believe, but true) I will play the "relative's birthday" card and respectfuclly pull out of attending any of the shows. Whew, that was close. You're on your own though.

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The "Last Night Rocked But Now It's Today" Mix

Yup, another mix for your enjoyment. I created this one yesterday before work, hence the title. It was always intended for broad release but I think you can follow the vibe between me waking up and me arriving at the office. So get on with the gettin' on and download this baby!

Download The "Last Night Rocked But Now It's Today" Mix here!
__________
Another birthday besides my little brother's?!

Yes! Happy birthday Paul!

__________
Snakes...on a motherfucking plane! Again!

Our friend Dan was telling us about his new favorite site on the interweb, Stuff On My Cat, so I was browsing through the pictues, of stuff...on cats, when I came across this one.

This movie is going to outgroos Narnia and Kong put together. It will be 2006's version of KING NARNIA!

__________
Your disturbing image of the day.

Anime Tankboy!

What do you know? I was right!

Last night was that kind of night! Thank you to everyone who came out and made the evning such a rousing success...we'll see you next week!

Until then, ponder this:

I've got a good feeling about tonight.

I don't know why, I just do. You know how you wake up and just have that, hey, I think this day is going to rock, feeling? That's what's popping through my system right now. Because of that I'm actually looking forward to going into work. Why? Because I just have a feeling that tonight is going to be one of those evenings people talk about the next day and go, whoa, what the heck happened last night? I'm so stoked it actually makes me want to get in the office early so the night can get started early! Please don't make a liar out of my instinctual inclination...stop on by The Pontiac tonight, join me and Rudy, enjoy our DJing skills, (almost) perfect song selection and prove my instincts right!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the Duffster posted another podcast and I'm really diggin it. Tune in to heara little of that Loose Fur disc i wrote about a few days ago but pay particular attention to the witty in-between song banter. I love it.

I. Can. Not. Wait.

Here's the press release:

Chicagoist.com and Tankboy
present...
Ctrl – Alt - Rock
With:
The Assembly
May Or May Not
Alphabet
at Schubas Tavern (3159 N. Southport)
on Thursday, February 16th, 2006 at 8 PM
Cover: $8

January 18, 2006 – Chicagoist.com, presents its first live music event, Ctrl – Alt – Rock, at Schubas Tavern on Thursday, February 16th, 2006.

After more than a year and a half of blogging about Chicago’s innovative music scene, Chicagoist, in conjunction with Tankboy Productions, joins the fray with a live show featuring three Chicago bands on the rise: The Assembly, May Or May Not and Alphabet.

The Assembly is riding a wave of acclaim thanks to their 2005 album Commencement that combines Brit rock influences with that distinctive Chicago guitar crunch. For fans of shimmering guitars, melodious vocals and wanderlust musings, May Or May Not comes on like lo-fi indie pop that’s been making out with the sounds of 70s AM radio. Lastly, Alphabet brings a Bowie-meets-Beck-after-being-hit-with-Pixies-guitar-lines aesthetic to the evening.

With a name that’s geek speak for restarting your computer, Ctrl – Alt – Rock brings Chicagoist’s sensibility to Chicago’s live music scene. “We wanted a name that would let our readers know that this isn’t just another rock show,” says Scott Smith, Chicagoist’s associate editor for arts and entertainment. “Ctrl-Alt-Rock will be a uniquely Chicagoist event with all of the snarky charm our readers have come to expect from us.”

Chicagoist is a website about the Chicago area and everything that happens there. Launched in May 2004, it was the second website in the Gothamist Inc. network of blogs. More than 10,000 readers a day turn to Chicagoist and its growing group of hard-working, volunteer bloggers for information on newsand events, music and movies, restaurants and nightlife, and observations on the city they love. Chicagoist has been featured on ABC7 News as well as on Chicago Public Radio’s Eight Forty Eight program. Stories about Chicagoist have appeared in various publications such as the Chicago Tribune, the Chicago Sun-Times, RedEye, Chicago Magazine, USA Today, CNN, and Slate.

For more information on Ctrl – Alt – Rock, visit the Chicagoist.com website. Interviews and graphics are available upon request.

__________
A review of the new Loose Fur disc...kind of.

Boy, I sure can go on and on and on and on sometimes, can't I?

__________
We like it when folks that should hook up actually do.

In other words this is my way of saying congratulations to my friends Gina and John for tying the know this weekend in a lovely ceremony. We here at Tankboy Enterprises are not often overcome by a general feeling of mushiness and "the warm fuzzies" but we feel the need to admit we were visited by both on Saturday. Thanks, Gina and John, for inviting Photogal and I to be a part of this big moment in each of your lives.

And for providing pool tables, a popcorn machine and nachos afterwards. Woo hoo!

Apparently I am more understanding than a suburban housewife.

So Illinois passed a law requiring that cold remedies containing pseudoephredrine be kept behind a pharmacist’s counter and any purchase of these products must be accompanied by the purchaser showing his or her ID and signing some sort of log to ensure the purchaser doesn’t buy more than 7.5 grams of pseudoephredrine a month. Now I think this law is just absolutely stupid. I think anyone buying enough over-the-counter crap to be able to cook up enough crystal meth for one person would be pretty obvious about the whole endeavor thus making them pretty easy to pick out of a crowd. Here’s how I envision such an exchange:

PHARMACIST: Hm, you must be feeling under the weather.
SNEAKY METH CHEF: Um, yeah.
PHARMACIST: I mean, 84 boxes of cold remedy…
SNEAKY METH CHEF: Um, my sinuses are really bad.
PHARMACIST: Alrighty then! Let me just ring you up.

Yeah, I don’t think so.

However I realize politicians need to do stuff to convince us that they are still necessary so I’ll go along with this silly law. I mean it doesn’t really bother me and this is coming from a guy that used to buy ephedrine by the bottleful (that’d be 100 pills per for those of you keeping track at home) and risk a massive heart attack for the sure thrill of it in college. They stopped selling it like that years ago and I really can’t blame the authorities for that. That shit was dangerous.

Here I could go into a whole thing about crystal meth and how I don’t understand the allure since I think it’s a totally boring, bogus and annoying drug – not that I would know from experience or anything¹ – but I guess a lot of folks don’t share my view and are getting massively fucked in their search for a constant meth high. However that would be veering wildly off course. Let’s leave it at this; I think the law is dumb but then again I think a lot of laws are dumb but it’s not going to hurt me to follow (most of) them so I’m not going to let them get to me.

Apparently a suburban housewife in Lake Forest² does not share this view. I had the great pleasure of waiting behind her in line while this exchange actually took place.

PHARMACIST: Good morning.
MRS INDIGNANT CITIZEN: What does this little tag mean? I need to get this cough syrup here?
PHARMACIST: Yes m’am, I’d be happy to help you. May I see your ID?
MRS I.C.: What?
PHARMACIST: I need to see an I.D. m’am. There’s a new law covering the sale of products that contain pseudoephredrine and we need to see an ID and log your purchase.
MRS I.C.: But I just want some cough syrup.
PHARMACIST: I understand m’am. It’s a new law.
MRS I.C.: Fucking meth fiends, making everyone’s life harder.

(At this point I snap to attention since the pharmacist never mentioned meth or what pseudoephredrine might be used for and I’m wondering how this woman knows unless a) her sorority girl past has made her privy to some of the more unseemly uses for cold remedies or b) she knows very fucking well that there’s a new law and that she needs to show her ID and she is just pulling this shit every time she buys anything with pseudoephredrine.)

All I could do by then was roll my eyes and walk out of the store sans my own cold remedy because I was that afraid that I would slap the shit³ out of the lady if I had to listen to her one second longer.

¹Nudge, nudge, wink, wink and all that. If I had done it, let's just say it would have been only once, I would have been still in college, and the experience would have been so dreadful that I never would have repeated it. No one should be up for over 36 hours, m'kay?
²LF is a particularly wealthy Northern suburb of Chicago. I suspect the exchange I’m about to map out is probably happening in less wealthy suburbs as well.
³Or at least say something really nasty.

Flippity-floppity.

Oh Kelly, why'd you have to give in? I fully blame your handlers for forcing you to reverse what was a perfectly acceptable decision. I mean, Ted Leo covering "Since U Been Gone" is one thing but do we really need to allow its slaughter by some orange skinned suburban strumpet? I think not.

Obviously you are being terribly mismanaged so I would like to extend my offer to join your posse as your personal guru/guidance counselor so this sort of thing doesn't happen again. I think you'll find my rates more than reasonable and the payout would be hugely in your favor. Think it over and have your people call my people.

This is why Kelly is still my #1 pop princess:

(Click the pic to find out!)

I wasn’t going to post anything today.

I wasn’t. But then I did. See?

PRIVATE TO KIP: Thanks a fucking lot for getting those singing lesbian sisters stuck in my head. I finally figured it out. They’re like Dashboard Confessional post Gil Norton. Or Damone with no balls.

PRIVATE TO RAY NAGIN: I know you didn't mean to say "God is mad at America." Obviously you meant to say "George Bush hates black America." We here at Tankboy Enterprises understand, and forgive, your intial slip. Next time, though, let Kanye do the talking for you.

PRIVATE TO GOD: Whenever you're ready to strike George W. down with that lightning bolt...

I have already made plans for you this evening so you don’t even need to think about it.

TONIGHT

DJs Tankboy & Rudy Tuesday
are moving the party to The Pontiac
and we want you to help us
kick off our first night in our new digs!

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday January 17, 2006
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

Features of the week:
We guarantee we'll play something
off brand new or unreleased albums from these artists!

Johnny Boy - Johnny Boy
Wolfmother - Wolfmother
Rhett Miller - The Believer
Centro-matic - Fort Recovery
Jenny Lewis - Rabbit Fur Coat
Ludes - The Dark Art Of Happiness
Loose Fur - Born Again In The USA
Richard Ashcroft - Keys To The World
The Gossip - Standing In The Way Of Control
Graham Coxon - Love Travels At Illegal Speeds
I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness - Fear Is On Our Side
Mark Lanegan and Isobel Campbell - Ballad Of Broken Seas
Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not

A fresh start in a familiar place.

Every Tuesday.
Now only at The Pontiac.
_____________________

The Pontiac
1531 N Damen
Chicago, IL
773.252.7767

Time Out Chicago says: "The grubby but much loved Ten56 is gone, but DJs Tankboy and Rudy Tuesday don't plan on forgetting it anytime soon. Now relocated, they spin yesteryear's rock, smokin' new releases and juice things up with record giveaways and listening parties."

__________
A quick thought on last night's 24.

SPOILER ALERT...DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE YET!!!

Okay, I'm still digging it but there'a lready one HUGE plot hole...Jack Bauer would have immediately gone after the dude in the yellow tie once the attack was under way. He would never walk around hugging people and taking his time to secure the one survivor he knew was in league with the terrorists.

Also, as Photogal said, "Another chemical threat? C'mon..."

About last night’s 24 (no spoilers here.)

I can’t go into detail but it’s pretty obvious no one on that show has anything resembling job security in the least, huh?

I mean, hot damn!

It was nice to see some things stay the same and to see Ms Frowny-face back in full effect though. Warms the heart, it does. Especially when she was all like, kid, that's Jack-motherfucking-Bauer and he's really good at what he does so why don't you just shut it. Awesome.

__________
About moving Sweet Alice Tuesdays to The Pontiac.

I’m getting lots of questions since we announced that we’re moving the oh-so-popular Sweet Alice Tuesdays to The Pontiac starting this Tuesday (that would be tomorrow.) Quite simply we felt it was time for a change in scenery. We still love the folks over at innjoy but we decided that it was just time to shift the night elsewhere. Sorry, no drama to report. Logistically it just makes sense to do the night at The Pontiac since it’s more convenient to get to via public trans, it’s smack dab in the middle of The WP and – most importantly – it’s been my personal home away from home for years. We still plan on spinning at innjoy on the occasional Friday but we just felt The Pontiac would be a better fit for our weekly residency. So we will see all of you there tomorrow to kick off our first night in our new digs in style, right?

__________
Hot ham water.

Somehow I missed the Arrested Development episode in which they lampoon every television cliché known to man but luckily my little brother taped it and I almost split a gut seam watching it yesterday. This begs two questions. First, how could any network possibly cancel a show this fucking good? Second, how did I, who hasn’t missed an ep since the premiere of the pilot in season one, miss this one?! Fucking FOX.

__________
DVD reissue paradise.

First, Mr ‘craka rekindled my interest in the seminal spoof flick Saturday The 14th so I went on-line to see if it was available in anything other than BETA and in the process discovered that it’s being released on DVD tomorrow! If you haven’t seen this movie I can’t recommend it highly enough. Okay, maybe I should take that back since I’m reasonably certain it sucks and probably hasn’t held up well over time...but heck, it’s a sentimental fave of mine so I’m going to recklessly endorse it anyway.

Another DVD reissue getting my big ol’ thumbs up is the complete collection of the HBO series 1st And 10. It’s available tomorrow for only seventeen bucks for all 80 episodes! I know it seems weird that a dude like me that has so little interest in sports that my apathy is sometimes mistaken for outright disdain would be psyched about an old television series about a ragtag football team. However when you throw in the fact that this show was my first regular exposure to a constant stream of naked boobies, butts and dirty jokes I think my sentimental attachment begins to explain itself.

This picture of my nephew perfectly encapsulates my usual response upon seeing a chocolate chip cookie.

Briefly.

• After two bus rides kicking off at 6:55am and two thousand dollars I finally retrieved my repaired and now driveable VW from the mechanic. As I pulled out of the parking lot I turned on my radio and discovered it was locked in some sort of "safe" mode that is difficult to unlock in order to dissaude thieves but in this case was merely triggered by the power source in my car (known to most humans as the battery) having been disconnected. In other words I was forced to make the morning commute, at the height of rush hour, in total silence. Who would have thought it possible that I would actually miss the sound of Ted Kennedy or Sam Alito's voices?
  
• Yesterday I was in an all-day meeting at work. What this means is that I basically spent the whole day taking in information. What this also means is that I basically spent the whole day taking in assorted snacks and treats offered buffet-style and available whenever a case of the munchies arose or an infusion of sugar was deemed necessary by my body. This was about every five minutes. It was worse than holiday snacking. Today is day two of the meeting and I hope to cut my caloric intake by half...to only about four or five thousand in this particular sitting.
  
• I just realized that here we are, thirteen days into 2006, and I haven't seen a single live musical performance. Wha- hoppen'?!
  
• Oh hey, smell that? That's a freshly brewed pot of Kenyan espresso. I'm out of here.

Beating a dead horse.

Okay, it’s obvious that this is going to happen every January. People make resolutions. It’s unavoidable. People want to better themselves, I understand that. However that doesn’t mean I have to enjoy the sudden influx of morons at the gym hogging all the machines and wandering around bereft of even the slightest hint of any sort of etiquette. I think I made the point last year that folks looking to improve their physical health should be applauded but I have no love for the people who swarm into they gym in January, fuck everything up and then disappear by the end of February. If you’re in it for the long haul then I’m on your side. Everyone else can fuck off.

I am an adult though and understand that all people must be tolerated so I am going to offer a few helpful pointers to the folks new to the gym experience. Follow these and I won’t really care that there are so many of you right now.

• The locker room is not the naked room. Change, shower, whatever…but please don’t walk all over the place sans towel and PLEASE don’t set your sweaty stanky bare ass on any of the stools. Ugh.
  
• Every single machine/weight-bench/exercise tool can be reached from any number of routes. This means that when I’m doing leg curls you don’t need to STEP OVER ME in order to get to the tricep dip machine a few feet in front of me.
  
• I sweat. A lot. So much that it often looks like I took a shower about halfway through my workout. So what do I do? I carry a towel with me. You should do the same so I don’t slip and slide and fly backwards off the elliptical machine.
  
• You’re not a fucking doctor, so get off your cell phone whilst on the treadmill. Freak.
  
• Loud grunting betrays the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing so cut it out. You’re not fooling or impressing anyone.
  
• This is for the dudes: Yes, many of the girls are hot Even an upstanding citizen like myself will sneak a peek at a hottie on a treadmill from time to time. This is to be expected. I suspect those hotties sneak peeks my way as well (although they are probably more along the lines of, “Did that guy spring a leak? Where did all that sweat come from?”) and that’s okay. What’s not okay is a) staring or b) trying to talk to a girl while she’s on a fucking treadmill with earphones on. People do go to the gym to look good and attract the opposite (or same depending on taste) sex, but they don’t often go to gym looking good in order to attract a potential mate.
  
• An hour and a half on the elliptical machine is a tad much. Learn to share.
  
• And finally, naked cell phone guy?> Either wrap a towel around your waist or get off the phone. No exceptions.

There. Print it out, cut it out, tack it to the fridge, live it, learn it.

And I wish you the best in your quest toward personal improvement.

Too much cowbell? No such thing!

However this cat may actually have me and Photogal beat when it comes to cowbell obsessiveness. (credz)

Got 'wood?

Usually I wouldn't do this since it involves urging folks to spend money at a big box, but hell, I figure this is fair recommendation since the price is so right. The debut by Morningwood has been a guilty pleasure of mine over the past few months and the disc finally gets released today. If you did the neu-new wave and female vocals that are swinging above a major set of brass balls then get thee to yr local Best Buy to pick up the disc since it's being sold for a measly seven bucks. I think it's fair to say the label is really banking on these NYC kids to break it big in '06. I'm not so sure the label is right, but like I said...the price is right for the quality of the songs and the group sounds like a whole lot of fun. We Are Scientists have an album coming out today too so, again, if you dig the dancey rock then pick that up too. I doubt it'll be as heavily discounted as the Morningwood disc though. However if you want to give either band a listen before plunking down your pennies then stop by innjoy tonight since I'll be spinning tracks from both bands.

Notice how effortless that innjoy plug was? Don't try that at home though, I am a professional.

__________
Oh really?



Dear Connecticut,

We appreciate the sentiment, but it's going to take a lot more than just a simple apology to make up for that particular fuck up. However if you feel like buying us one of those cool new iPod mixing consoles we will consider forgiving you. Feel free to contact the tankboy Corporate Office if you decide to go that route.

Best regards,
Tankboy

Grrrrr...

I said GRRRRRR!

But panels don't always have to be in a straight and horizontal line, so what's your point?³

Yeah, one week in and still working on that 52 Books in 52 Weeks resolution. I'm guessing I shouldn't have started off with something by David Foster Wallace. They are just essays though so it's going quicker than expected. I still remember how pissed I was that the year I decided to move from Normal, IL back to Chicago was the same year D.F.W. started teaching at I.S.U. and a number of my friends ended up hanging with him over that year (1995) while I re-acclimated to the "real world" up north and rediscovered the unpleasant (at the time) fact that night-life often ended at 4am instead of always spilling over into the daylight hours. I've stated it before and am afraid of it becoming a looped statement that loses its impact but that was truly a time when time blended the days and nights and sensations and made it nigh impossible to remember events in anything even remotely resembling chronological order without some insane amount of help from outsiders or chroniclers that lived on the fringes of our own little social maelstrom.

I was reminded of the sensation yesterday when watching eXistenZ and -- four minutes into the movie -- realizing that I had already seen this particular Cronenberg film but I honestly could not for the life of me remember what happened beyond a mild intuiting of events perhaps three to five minutes ahead of the moment I was presently viewing. This sensation continued through the rest of the movie and didn't abate until the very end when Jude Law and the strangely sexy Jennifer Jason Leigh employ an Irish Wolfhound¹ in a most unusual manner.

I feel like I walked off a cliff here. Seriously. I got all excited because what was intended as a brief notice that my reading exercise was in fact off to a slow start seemed to be building into something entirely different and it felt as if I were actually building to release (or come to grips with) some sort of realization². I actually had another half a paragraph following the above but after reviewing it I realized I had veered way off track and it was time to allow my little internal copy editor the freedom to actually scream, "STOP!" Then I sat and stared at the screen for a few minutes. Once I realized I was spending more time trying to remember where my Yellow Note CD was than actually musing over the point I thought I was trying to make it became pretty obvious it was time to throw in the towel on this particular line of thought.

And now I think how if I could only boil this all down to a few well-placed strokes of India Ink within four panels on a sheet of newsprint it would probably make a pretty funny, if somewhat usually dire, observation on the "blahs" a "bad case of the Mondays" or just a general Dilbertian view on the effect of the impending work week on the over-oiled gears in a dreamer's head.

Maybe I should have stuck with cartooning. It takes a lot less time to say what you're trying to say when you've only got a few inches to say it in.

¹At least I think that’s what kind of dog it was.
²Or “grand message”, either one works for me.
³No, this isn't a mistake. The three is in the right place. Think about it for a second.

My hair ? you.

Does anyone else see the upside down heart over my forehead as shaped by my curling blonde locks? Or is it just me? Wacky.



Also, I think it's fairly obvious I am way overdue for a trim, no? Oh well, at least my stylist, the inimitable Jenny Evil, knows I'm not cheating on her with another salon...

My first gift to you in the new year.

Sick of "year end" lists yet? How about "year beginning" lists? What? Yes, you heard me right. I figured that since I procrastinated and held off compiling last year’s list until almost the very last second I would try a more proactive approach. So I've decided to compile my ten favorite tunes of 2006...so far. Many of these ain't released yet so I hope y’all enjoy ‘em!

Download the "Top 10 of 2006...as of Jan 6!" mix.
Huzzah!

Finally Hollywood gets something right.

Hallelujah!

TONIGHT!


(clicky the image to enlarge)

It's our first time at Darkroom and it's an awfully snazzy spot with a great soundsystem so won't you be a dear and stop by for a spell? Thanks!

I was a teenage thirtysomething werewolf zombie.

I didn't DJ last night, which was a very good thing, but I still didn't get much sleep. Let's just say someone in the house is on a slightly different sleeping schedule than I am. Okay, it’s a very different schedule. I fought to keep Photogal awake past nine last night in an effort to help her get re-acclimated. So after she went down for the count I took in Dark Water¹, relaxed a read a bit. About two hours after I go to bed I feel a tap, tap, tapping on my shoulder and a whispered, "What time is it? Don't you get up around now?"

I squinted in the darkness and picked out our LCD clock and responded, "No, it's three o'clock in the morning. I don't usually get up for another two hours."

"Oh, sorry."

It was all over though. Between my own chest/sinus cold, Betty the Beagle's snoring, Photogal's sleep-deprived tossing and turning and Betty the Beagle's snoring it grew rather obvious that I was getting no more sleep. So here I am. Better throw on some of that African espresso Photogal brought back forme from Kenya and get my day started...

¹For the record the movie was long on creepy and short on pay-off. However I'll watch pretty much anything Jennifer Connelly is in since that means, well, I get to stare at her for a few hours. I feel the same way about Christina Ricci's later (read: post legal...I'm not that much of a perv thankyouverymuch) work. For instance the only thing that made Prozac Nation worth watching (since I loved the book and the movie pretty much butchered it into something completely unrecognizable) was the chance to (finally) see Ms Ricci naked*, even if it was just a slumped over and brooding pose on the edge of a bed.

*Yes, this is completely juvenile. I know.

Thus endeth the vacation.

I go back to work today, Photogal gets back from Africa today, and things will presumably return to normal. It's gonna sound weird but I am more than ready for that to happen. Remind me never to take a vacation that coincides with her being out of town for this long again.

Y'know, everyone was talking -- predictably -- about resolutions the other night and I kept saying I had none, that I didn't believe in them. Well, I've changed my mind. I've decided to steal largehearted boy's idea and work on the 52 Books In 52 Weeks idea. There was a time when I would read 52 books in 52 days but a career in the 9 to 5 has certainly gotten in the way of that. I expect some books will take more than a week and some will take less, but hopefully by this time next year I'll have made it throughat least 53 of them.

One question though, does The Complete Calvin And Hobbes count as one, three, or ten books?

NYE.

Wow. NYE started out with a lovely dinner with good friends. Then as the evening progressed we witnessed a little dog wearing a hoodie, jeans and booties; a bedroom dance party; too many tiaras; Eric Chial's seemingly bottomless supply of booze; Balti insisting on ringing our cell phone to ascertain that we had indeed ripped his own composition into an MP3 to provide the ring-tone; being hooked into DJing; did we mention the bottomless supply of alcohol? Let's just say we're not sure exactly when or how it happened but we must have gotten home safely since we woke up on our couch, in a daze, surrounded by puppies, with Real Genius playing on the DVD player.

And we've been sick as a dog since then. Swollen glands, lots of phlegm, lots of coughing. We think NYE is certainly what finally tipped the scales against our body and now we are paying the price.

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The Eve of NYE.

DJing at innjoy was a blast and a half. I ended up shouldering the evening solo and turned the place into a bit o' a dance party. I also discovered that I must have a small gay man living inside of me since I found playing Madonna, Erasure and other tracks of that nature to be not only painless but in fact enjoyable.

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A final observation.

I am ready for Photogal's return. More than ready. While it was interesting to spend a week doing nothing but pleasing myself I have ultimitely found the exercise to be less than fulfilling. In the past when Photogal would leave on extended trips I could always sort of slip enjoyably back into the "single" mode of going out and such but this time was different. I felt like my forays outside of my house were fueled more out a desire to escape the desperate void left by Photogal's absense rather than any attempt at just having a good time for fun's sake. I got a glimpse of what life would be without her and have realized that scene is just not for me. I'm just not that guy anymore. I don't know when it happened, but it did, and I don't think there's any going back now.