Drink drank drunk.

So here we are, over a month into my pledge to lay off the excessive social drinking, and so far so good. I have had a drink here and there but have kept hold of my sobriety. This is by far the absolute longest something like this has lasted since I started boozing it up, oh, fifteen years ago. Not bad, eh?

Before I get too busy breaking my arm on my own back though I feel that I should 'fess up and admit that the whole "not smoking" thing is now going so well. While I still certainly don’t smoke as much as I did pre-June 30 of this year I haven’t had the strength to completely quit. Who would've thought that quitting drinking would be the easier vice to shed? Certainly not me.

From time to time I do really crave a good drunk but for the most part I've found that I can actually enjoy myself when I'm out and about at the bars or clubs. The first week or so was difficult since I kept reflexively bellying up to the bar only to realize I didn't need to order anything. As the weeks have passed, though, I’ve found this urge easier to control. Certainly the most unexpected side effect would be the conversations I've been having, and actually remembering, with my friends.

Physically I don't feel any different, which actually surprises me. I expected to feel "sharper" and more "fit." The last time I quit drinking for an extended period time, five years ago, that was the first thing I noticed. To be fair, at that time I was coming off a schedule of drinking and staying out until dawn six or seven days a week and this time around I was already down to only being out two or three times a week – and the hours I was out were far more limited than when I was actually working in a club. The fact I've been so loyal to the gym certainly hasn't hurt me either and I think that’s why the difference in the way I feel isn’t so stunning this time.

So what does this all mean? Does it mean anything? What have I accomplished? Is this really an accomplishemnt? I think it's still too early to tell what this means in the larger scheme but at the moment I think my standard of living has increased a bit. In a purely limited view this decision couldn't have come at a better time since money is virtually nonexistent in Tankboy’s pockets. I'm amazed at how much I have at the end of each weekend when I don’t have to pay for $20 cab rides and healthy bar tabs. (NOTE: I still tip bartenders when they serve me water though. It might not be on every single glass, but they’re still getting dough from me…old habits (in this case, thankfully) die hard.)

Will I ever get drunk again? I don’t know, probably. I figure I have a lot of time ahead of me to figure that out. But at least I've discovered that getting drunk is not as necessary as I might've thought in the past. I'd be lying if I were to say that at the outset of this whole endeavor I didn't have serious doubts as to whether I would still dig doing the things I've usually done under the influence (shows, bars, parties, parades, Christmas shopping), but I needn’t have worried. Apparently I was having real fun all along, the only real difference now is that I can actually remember the good times.