Repairing the circuitry before turning the juice back on.

So I've been on the wagon for the last few weeks, and it's been interesting. It has literally been too many years since I went this long withut a drop of booze. In fact the last time I did, by the end I was judgmental of everyone who was still drinking around me and swore I'd never be all stupid and shit like them again! That lasted a week. This time around I found myself absent any judgement and able to just focus on realigning myself without feeling anxious or angry about it. I must be getting older!

Anyway, the reasons for this little break were many, and the results have been fabulous. After so many years we fall into bad habits, and given my years in rock and / or roll and the service industry and blah blah blah I honestly started to wonder just how much of my personality the mythology of drinking truly was in the eyes of other people. Well, over the last few weeks I've chilled out, improved my relationship  and proven that I can enjoy a band playing in a club without a beer in my hand.* In fact my overall anxiety level is way down, and in the past I would have a beer or a glass of wine when I got home to relax and now I'm realizing it was probably having the opposite effect. Who knew?!

So I'm feeling pretty good. And I'm pretty confident this little break has allowed me to flip an internal reset that is ultimately going to be really good for me.

I think of it this way: I've tripped a circuit breaker and cut off the juice long enough to fix the internal circuitry so now I can safely turn the power back on without worrying its going to flood the system and burn out all the wiring.

*If I may have a word about the band in a club thing? Thanks. The thing I found most difficult to deal with in that setting while completely sober was the fact I was too finely attuned to everything going on around me. Obviously booze dulls the senses but I never realized how much of the hustle and bustle of a bar it helped me turn into so much background noise that was easily processed by my usually overactive brain. Once I got a handle on the overstimulation everything was cool though. And the bands sounded fabulous!