Friday, August 29, 2003


I just learned an old friend of mine – who was one of the nicest and most honest people I’ve ever known -- was killed by some fucked up psycho with a gun. Life is so not fair. I’m suffering a bit of shock so I don’t really have anything to say today.

Two songs I want at my funeral? Jeff Buckley’s “Last Goodbye” (for the bridge, not the title) and Donovan’s “Colours.”

That’s it for today. Sorry.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Crazy Judge - 0
Church - 0
Common Sense - 1

It’s about time this kook got smacked down. Personally I believe the Ten Commandments are a pretty good set of rules to follow. However I also believe that Church and State should keep out of each other’s hair and if they get too close together it can really fuck things up.

This particular instance and the thick-headed judge behind all this ruckus raises another and more important problem though. His obvious disregard for the actual duties of the judicial branch is really alarming. Last time I checked courts were supposed to interpret laws based on precedent and not just fabricate them or attempt to rise above the rules. Unfortunately this guy’s actions are part of a broader trend as our boys and girls on benches in courtrooms across our confused nation are taking on the role of lawmaker.

And to think that I wasn’t going to write anything other than, “Ugh, too much work and not enough sleep so I’m not gonna post anything today.” I guess you just can’t keep a good blowhard like me down, eh?

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Now here's a kick ass idea!

I should have thought of this first. Excellent Online has gotten a bunch of their favorite musicians together and released a two-disc compilation of terrific unreleased or rare material entirely on-line in high grade MP3s. You can download these terrific tunes and some CD art-work right here.

There is also a Flaming Lips tribute compilation I've found and I'll link to that in a few days but I figured everyone should check out Flirt first..

So now that I've discovered this totally cool, low-overhead, pro-music idea I think I may just have to try to throw one of my own together. Any groups out there interested? It would be nice to include some folks I don't already work closely with. And anyone have some extra server space they're not using that wouldn't mind a temporary residency consisting of cool music?
Testing, 1, 2, 3....

Dunno if this is going to work or not but I thought I would try adding comments to the ol' posts and see what happens. I've had a few requests for this sort of thing so I figure it can't hurt to try it out and get a little interactive.

In other news, there is no other news. Enjoy your day. If you live in Chicago come and see me and Rudy DJ tonight at Ten56. We kick much ass. We really do.

Monday, August 25, 2003

Am I balding? No, really.

Okay, I’m not balding at all but it sure feels that way since I got my hair cut. I’ve gone from wavy, Roman philosopher boy/stand-in for one of the guys in The Strokes to sleek, sharp and well-coifed. I only get my hair cut about two or three times a year so it’s always a pretty radical change in appearance and I can guarantee you many folks who deal with me more infrequently will not recognize me. This is kind of fun and Photogal always enjoys in when I’m a bit disguised and we can actually have a drink at a bar without somebody talking to me about an upcoming gig, asking my opinion on a new CD or forcing me to do yet another shot with them Photogal really hates when I do lots of shots when she’s around. Unless of course she is doing lots of shots too.

Other than that there isn’t all that much to report. I apologize to any Sloan fans I got all excited with my review of their latest disc and reported the release date as Aug 19. I guess that release date was for Canada and was pushed back anyway due to production problems caused by the blackout (much the same way I suspect the Mr Show Season Three DVD was delayed godamnit!) You could do what I did though when I realized I’d have to wait for the disc to become available in the USA and got to the MapleMusic site and order the disc from there.

If you’re not a Sloan fan please ignore the above paragraph. However it would really be a shame if you weren’t a Sloan fan since they really are the best musical export Canada has offered in, oh, twenty or so years.

Saturday, August 23, 2003


Last night I had a show at the club I used to book and am definitely glad I came home early (2:30am.) The show was a blast -- even though I lost my keys -- and I was once again astounded by just how powerful my friend Gina's voice is. The drummer in her band also threatened me with dire consequences if I didn't come into her salon for a hair-cut today. It's time because a) my hair grows incredibly fast and b) one of my friends asked me if I got a perm because the wavy curls sprouting out of my head are threatening to run amok.

So look out world, here comes a freshly shorn Tankboy!

Friday, August 22, 2003

Keep yer paws off my rawhide you damn, dirty dog!

At least that’s what I assumed Betty the Beagle was thinking last night when Spencer the Dog came over to visit and decided to make off with one of Betty’s rawhide bones. As a result this morning was filled with Betty running around the apartment “burying” and “re-burying” her arsenal of chew toys. In her head I think she was preparing to fend off any more enemy encroachment into her supply of toys.

Unfortunately I missed last night’s spectacle due to my attending the first of three sold-out Liz Phair shows here in Chicago. What did I think of Ms. Phair’s live performance? A full review will pop up over at Done Waiting in the next couple of days but lets just say she wisely avoided almost all of her new album and weighed the evening heavily towards past glories.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

I am a Pixie.

My little brother has pointed me towards a quiz that divines which Pixies song you are. I was:

You're one cool cookie. You love movies, especially obscure ones, and you talk about them all the time. Even if people don't understand what you are talking about, they stick around anyway because you're just so much fun to be around. You don't always stand out in a crowd, but you can often be identified by your cluster of groupies and fans. You're usually the one throwing all the good parties, too.

Which Pixies song are you?

It's me! It's me!

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

Mea culpa.

In yesterday’s writing I made mention of Photogal, her underwear and how cute she looked while walking around in said underwear first thing in the morning. Well, apparently Photogal read those words with a bit of embarrassment and asked me not to write about such things for fear she may seem weird. I explained that I was reasonably sure that 98.9% of the population walked around in their underwear first thing in the morning and that she should be proud that of that 98.9% of folks, she was part of the less than 0.9% that actually looked cute walking around in their underwear first thing in the morning.

Nevertheless, Photogal asked, please don’t write about stuff like that.

A relationship is built on nothing if it doesn’t rest upon a solid bedrock of trust and mutual respect so I will defer to her wishes and ask all of you to forget I ever wrote about Photogal, her underwear and just how cute she is while walking around in her underwear first thing in the morning.

hee hee!

Monday, August 18, 2003


It's Monday. I'm at work. Blah.

This morning Photogal was bouncing around the apartment wearing this little underwear that made her look fabulous.

This is quite the comedown when compared to that....

Sunday, August 17, 2003

...when I'm 64?

Yup, I've actually been puttering around the house, drinking coffee and reading the Sunday paper. I am getting old.

I'm also listening to the third Boston show Pearl Jam did a few weeks ago -- where they performed their entire catalog over three dates -- and am stunned by the version of "Fortunate Son" they do as a duet with Sleater Kinney. Fucking amazing.

While I'm shilling for female-centric tunes, go out and buy Juana Molina's Segundo right now. Its sleepy, dreamy and textured beats blend in perfectly with Molina's girlish yet just-woke-up vocals. I can't understand a word of it but that so doesn't matter.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Unleashed Round Two!

Well, Photogal is out of town for the second weekend in a row visiting her brother and nieces on the Jersey shore (apparently New Jersey doesn’t have beaches, only shores.) What does this mean? Lots of booze and women for Tankboy. Ahahahahahahahaaaa!

Okay, maybe not so much with the women.

Anyway, last weekend there was nothing to do while she was out of town and this weekend there is waaaay too much to do! Sonic Youth and Guided By Voices are playing a fucking street festival tonight. Then The Webb Brothers are playing with my friends in Office later on.

Tomorrow a co-worker of mine is having a party. It’s kind of a yuppie party that I usually wouldn’t frequent but he had a bash earlier this summer and I had a blast. Lots of booze, lots of pretty girls, a power outage, hot fireman for Photogal to gawk at, DJ iPod in the hizouse. I’m gonna try and get Rudy and few of my rock boys and girls to go. Then later in the evening Gina from Rockit Girl is doing a show at The Pontiac for me with her boyfriend Josh from BITCHBECOOL. And then I’m going to catch Nash Kato at Double Door in a quickly arranged show to make up for the missed date at that street festival a few weeks ago. It’s good to live in Chicago sometimes.

I was going to go off on a rant about road rage and asshole drivers but now that I’ve typed the above and realize what a kick-ass weekend I’m in for I just don’t have the heart.

Lights out, poke poke poke your eyes out.

My brother lives with his wife in Toronto, maybe I should give him a call and make sure no one’s looted his apartment yet. Seriously, I lived without power a few years ago for about a week due to a fire at a ComEd station here in Chicago and I can attest to the fact that no power in the middle of the summer equals one sucky situation. I hope everyone on the Eastern seaboard and our neighbors to the north are doing okay. I heard Detroit has a dusk to dawn curfew to curb temptation for those who might bend the law. Scary.

A fever dream.

Thousands of years from now people will walk around with relics of me in little glass jars around their necks saying, "Oh Saint Tankboy, who slew the mighty Maxim/Stuff/Gear dragons and saved women from the peril of the hairy beasts known as twentieth century males, we pray to yooooooou."

I hope you enjoyed my Fair And Balanced views today.

Take that you fucking excuse for a news network.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

No Love?

No comments/e-mails/doctored images in regard to yesterday's cartoon? I am hurted!

Lotsa Love!

I have reviewed the brand spanking new discs by The Bon Mots and The Wes Hollywood Show here.

Here endeth today's love.


Tuesday, August 12, 2003

As promised:

Here is a cartoon of me from last week's Reader Ad for The Pontiac.

Thanks to Josh James for crafting this rather flattering likeness. Wanna see me in person? Well then go to where VH1 tells you to!

Monday, August 11, 2003

Just so’s ya know…

…Betty the Beagle and I did indeed celebrate Spoil Your Dog Day. However I moved it up to Saturday since I knew I would be home all day and Sunday I had to go out to my parents’ place in the hinterlands and pick up Photogal from the airport.

Betty and I watched many DVDs and curled up in a big, comfy, green blanket on the couch. Betty was also treated to some extra dog treats as well as an extended sun bath on my back-porch.

Then, later that night, I tucked Betty in, found some buds and got so stinky that I was actually home and in bed by 1:00am! Some party animal I am!

Coming tomorrow!

I was featured as a cartoon character in an ad in this week’s Reader and tomorrow I’ll be posting a link to the PDF. Excitement!

Friday, August 08, 2003

Pseudo-Bachelorhood Revisited!

Well, Photogal is visiting a spa in Colorado for the weekend (yeah, life sure is rough for her, eh?) so l’il Tankie is free to be a Wildman this weekend! Following is a list of activities I look forward to while my lovely gal pal is out of town getting wrapped in seaweed and riding horses….

1. Fall asleep on the couch after ten too many drinks with the DVD player running old Avengers episodes and a half-eaten taco lying in my lap.

2. Wrestling with Betty the Beagle to get the aluminum foil that used to be around the half-eaten taco out of her mouth.

3. Stay out until 5am without fear of reprisal.

4. Finally listen to all the CDs I’ve bought in the last month at the appropriate ear-blistering volume without having someone come in the room and turn the stereo down to a whisper.

5. Ditto for all the DVDs I’ve bought in the past month.

6. Leave my socks on the family room floor.

7. Hell, leave my underwear on the family room floor!

8. Smoke in the house…okay, maybe not.

9. Leave leftovers in the fridge without worrying about a “mystery mouse” making off with them when I’m not looking.

10. Drink lots of Makers Mark.

11. Live dangerously.

12. Go to Halsted Market Days, see a few bands, drink a lot of beer and do many jello shots with a bunch of drag queens. Wait a minute, Photogal would proably do that with me....

12. End up drunk on the phone with Photogal at 3am mumbling, "I miss yooooouuuu...."

I'm such a dork.

Thursday, August 07, 2003

Aw, too fucking bad.

From Reuters:

Republican Congressman Darrell Issa, a wealthy conservative Republican who spent $1.7 million to fuel the petition drive leading to the recall election, tearfully dropped out of the race after generating little enthusiasm for his own candidacy.

The congressman from the San Diego area had gone to register his candidacy, but with supporters surrounding him, he changed his mind following the swift political changes brought by Schwarzenegger's surprise announcement.

First of all, this asshole has set a brand new low for precedents by basically saying, "Hey, if we lose the election it doesn't need to end there. We can keep fighting until we eventually win!" This thinking was initially mined to great effect by the ex-governor of Texas George W. Bush.

I'm just glad the little wiener that thought to buy his way into a governorship that had already been won fairly by someone else won't reap any rewards other than a lighter wallet from this whole fiasco.

Wednesday, August 06, 2003

A few rules as we gear up for the big day.

Since August 10 is Spoil Your Dog Day I thought I would share a few observations sent to me via e-mail.

Rules for non pet owners who visit
and like to complain about our pets:

1. The dog lives here. You don't.

2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my dog a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, she's a dog. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the pups.

The same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you are asleep.

Before you say a word...

...I am aware I am the coolest cat on this planet up until my dog becomes involved at which point i turn into a total dweeb. Sorry, I can't help it. Cool Tankboy will be back in a bit, I swear.

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

As if she needs it...

My little brother brought it to my attention that August 10 is Spoil Your Dog Day.

Betty the Beagle is counting down the hours...

Monday, August 04, 2003

Sodden Rock.

I saw Nash Kato last night in a rather unexpected setting. Read about it here.

Friday, August 01, 2003

Happy Halloween!

Huh? What? Oh this is too funny...and it's not even close to October yet!
I’m a baaaad boy…

Yes, I did indeed play Africa by Toto while DJing at Double Door last night. Admit it, secretly you love that song too.

She’s a baaad girl…

Yes, Photogal did indeed actually stay out later than me last night while boozing it up with some co-workers. Ireckon that earns me at least one stinky-drunk-fall-down-evening without reprimand from her, don’t you?

They’re baaaad mofos…

Light FM, Woolworthy, The Cells and Dig For Fire all kicked total ass last night. If you missed it your pillow should be sodden with your tears.

Ah celebrity!

Finally, last night Photogal had someone actually call her Photogal and she suddenly realized people she had never met knew who she was through my ramblings. Hee hee!