Friday, April 30, 2004

This is going to be so awesome...


Saturday 5/1
Tankboy Presents

Milk At Midnight
The Gotards

Show at 9:30pm
no cover!

1531 N Damen Avenue

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Stating the obvious: a manifesto of sorts?

As I run into more folks addressing me in the real world as “Tankboy” that have only met me via e-mail or my ramblings I’ve grown a bit concerned. On one hand this is a bit flattering since it means folks are reading and responding to what I write. On the other hand there is a definite danger of someone thinking they “know me” or folks surrounding me just by reading my sometimes disjointed ramblings.

So this got me to thinking just what kind of image I can convey. And this got me to thinking about other writers out there – primarily bloggers – and what they are trying to display as themselves. I mean face it, the only stuff I put up here is stuff I want you to know, right? I like to think I am objective for the most part but obviously I’m going to leave things out that I don’t think belong or that might implicate people around me in less savory situations.

I think a great example of the “reveal only as you choose” is The Watergirl’s page. She is by far one of the most entertaining storytellers out there but as I’ve gotten to know her through her work I begin to notice that sometimes what she doesn’t say is just as important as what she’s filling you in on. Fascinating. And you know what? Not only is it a good read but it’s the sign of a good writer.

For my own part, since for me this was never really an anonymous exercise to being with, I think it’s safe to say that I am pretty straightforward with the stuff I put in here, but I would hope no one would ever make the mistake of viewing this as a truly confessional on-line diary. Think of it as a series of “think” pieces that are sometimes informative, sometimes funny, sometimes boring and sometimes make me look like an ass. Sometimes things I write come back to bite me on the ass, primarily in matters including my girlfriend, because folks take what I write as face value and forget that sometimes writers accentuate certain parts of a story because they are looking to elicit a certain reaction.

For instance maybe I’ll tell an amusing story about how witty I was being at a certain bar but will conveniently not include the fact that I spent the time prior and immediately after said wittiness puking in the bathroom. See, it kind of changes your view of that little story, no? And now you’re probably making the mistake of thinking I actually was puking my guts out in some bar bathroom recently. I wasn’t. I’m just trying to make a point and doing a poor job of it.

What I’m really trying to just hammer out here is the fact that even though I reveal a confessional bend at times you’re not getting the whole story. Hell, I’m sure if you asked anyone around me Tuesday night what happened while I was DJing you’d get a fractured mirror of answers that all looked pretty similar but definitely weren’t the same. It’s all about perception and in this venue I have control of your perception, right? Sorry to get all meta on you here but I think that’s an important thing to remember in all circumstances of life and I’m just trying to do my itsy-bitsy part in promoting close reading of everything we encounter in our day to day lives.

Okay, hmmm, I think I’m out of steam so what can I tell you to make you laugh? Oh yeah,, here’s something.

Tuesday, when I got back from the bar and had too many shots for my own good I was rummaging through the fridge and trying to quietly unwrap a Little Debbie’s Swiss Cake Roll as a late-night snack. I thought I was being all mouse-like until I was BUSTED by Photogal who was giving me the stink eye for obviously drinking too much while DJing. Did I ever get to eat that Swiss Cake Roll you ask? Well, I must have shoved it in my pocket in an attempt to, for some reason, hide it and then forgot about it until the morning. Needless to say it was a little smushed by the next morning but it was ten times more delicious since I had to wait for it!

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Who likes free music?

Seriously go here and download the album eric Metronome has up. They are high quality mp3s and the songs are amazing. Verrry heavy on the Elliott Smith orch-rock thing and verrry breathtaking. Great and beautiful art for free? Does it get any better?

Vs. Kiss
Vs. DJ Tankboy
Vs. Iggy Pop
as we continue to rock out
in the manner to which you
have grown accustomed.

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday April 27, 2004
Free PBR from 8-9pm
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

Features of the week:

!!! - Louden Up Now
Badly Drawn Boy - One Plus One Is One
Graham Coxon - Happiness In Magazines
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
The French Kicks - The Trial Of The Century
Juliana Hatfield - In Exile Deo
Local H - Whatever Happened To PJ Soles?
London Booted
Eric Metronome - The Easy Days
The Secret Machines - Now Here Is Nowhere
Wilco - A Ghost Is Born
Young Heart Attack - Mouthful Of Love

We're burnin'
we're burnin' for you.

1056 N Damen
Chicago, IL

The Chicago RedEye says: "The teeny tables and scant booths don't leave a whole lot of room for sitting, but the crowd (hipsters from all over the city) is mainly music fans who are more comfortable on their feet anyway. Stop in on Tuesday nights, when the DJ plays the best retro-rock this side of Detroit Rock City...."


Ruby Tuesday is May 4, 2004
Lotsa free food.
Lotsa free booze.
Lotsa music by and inspired by
The Rolling Stones....

Monday, April 26, 2004

All by myself. Don’t wanna beee, allllll byyyy myse-ye-elf.

While left to my own devices this weekend I managed not to projectile vomit, soil myself, burn any pizzas, set the dog on fire, lay around in my underwear, wake up next to a headless blood-drenched body, drink myself silly, stick my foot in my mouth, get into a bar-fight, park my car and then lose it, fall asleep on the couch smoking a cigarette and drinking beer and watching old episodes of Monty Python on DVD.

What did I actually manage to do? I actually went to Estelle’s and had a blast for once, I cleaned up the apartment, I made it to the gym every day, I washed the sheets after allowing Betty the Beagle to snuggle in bed with me so it didn’t feel so empty, I bung out with my friends more often than I usually get a chance to and a fell asleep on the couch while drinking a glass of milk and watching season two of The Office. Oh yeah and I got to see a totally righteous waitress at Double Door win seventy bucks by snorting two lines of snuff (that tobacco folks tuck behind their lip) and not throwing up immediately afterwards.

In other words I had a weekend comprised of later carousing than I usually indulge in but I managed to stay out of the trouble I would have gotten myself into merely a year or so ago. I’m growin’ up!

Smoke and mirrors.

Doyle and I had an interesting conversation about the distance that should and does remain between the average writer and their audience, the manipulations therein and the inability of most writers to be truly objective. I reckon I’ll explore this theme a little further later in the week after I’ve finished gathering my thoughts on the subject.

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Well how about that?

Day two of the gal-pal out-of-town experience and I didn't wake up with a throbbing head or covered in my own filth! Yay for me!

Now it's off to the gym to undo a bit of the damage all that Guiness did last night before heading out to see Woolworthy scare a bunch of hippies.

Friday, April 23, 2004

This just in!

How this got past me I'll never know. Either Rudy forgot to tell me, or he was afraid I might drink all of his organic beer. Or, more probably, he was afriad I would loudly make fun of hippies and embarass the band. Well Doyle spilled the beans so here it is:

Woolworthy is doing a free show in Wicker Park for the Earthday festival. I'm gonna wear my Birkenstocks, and we are going to try to get Kevin Black drunk and dress him up like a tree so everyone can come on stage and hug him.

It's tomorrow, Saturday April 24, in Wicker Park and the whole thing kicks off at one...but Woolworthy goes on at three. I am gonna be so drunk by the time The Paper Bullets hit the stage later that night. Fun!
Tankboy unleashed?

Photogal is out of town.
Lots of stuff to do as referenced in yesterday's post.

How badly will my head hurt tomorrow?
Wait and see!

Thursday, April 22, 2004


Photogal is going out of town for the weekend to the Sundance Resort in sunny Utah and I am stuck here in Chicago with fuck all happening this weekend. Both Double Door and The Note have totally crap shows and money is low so I don't really want to venture too far out of my Wicker park comfort zone...I can't afford high cab fares this weekend.

On the bright side there is a cool show at The Pontaic on Saturday with Paper Bullets and Autumn's Remorse, so that should be fun.

Oh hey, I just saw Matthew is playing at SubT on Friday so that should be cool. Also I forgot about the Kudzoo launch party at Cal's.

I guess there are a few fun things to keep me occupied while the girlfriend is away, eh?

Wednesday, April 21, 2004


I am exceedingly grumpy today.


On the bright side, we are celebrating my boss's birthday later today so that means I'll get to eat cake.


(By the way, I just went back and forth whether I spelled "boss's" correctly, but after consulting the The New York Times Manual Of Style And Usage I decided I did spell it correctly...I think.)
Download download download!

Ever since that Grey Album thing, mash-up/remix discs are becoming all the rage. They've always been around but they really seem to be surfacing and gaining recognition from the general public now.

This is a good, fun thing if you ask me.

Currently I'm digging The Clash's London Calling re-envisioned as London Booted. Download the whole thing but don't forget to offer some dough to the charities associated with the project.

I also see the site hosting this download is working on a mash-up of Blur's Parklife. I can't wait!

(P.S. Much love to largehearted boy for pointing me in the direction of this one.)

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Four nights in a row?

How the hell do the Pixies sell out four nights in a row at the Aragon Brawlroom?
Why, with the help of suckers like me willing to pay close to ninety bucks for two tickets to a Tuesday night show.

Kim Deal better personally buy me a fucking beer.

Monday, April 19, 2004

How did I forget?

Also, becasue i know yer all dyin' to know, I finally had all my hair chopped off again last night by the lovely Jenny Evil so now I'm sportin' the short and spikey instead of the full and wavey.

What’s up doc?

So I tried out a new doctor today that was recommended by Photogal, her sister and her sister’s boyfriend the Mad Moldovan Trader. (Just kidding, he’s not mad at all, but I like the way “Mad Moldovan” sounds.)

Anyway, I went to see this new doctor because a) I didn’t really like the guy I had been seeing since I got covered by my company’s medical insurance and b) ever since my dad’s oncologist said that the stomach problems he’s encountered over the years may have been one of the contributing factors to his esophageal cancer I’ve been meaning to get my recurring stomach pain finally solved. I’ve tried numerous medications but I think it’s time to shove a camera down my throat and figure out just what the hell is going on down there.

Well, apparently this new doctor agreed and an endoscopy is next on my docket of things to do. Unfortunately she frowned upon my drinking and smoking just like every other doctor I’ve ever seen. She was a bit more stern and insistent that I reduce my alcoholic intake and such as we try and pin down the source of my stomach ailment.

Okay, fine. Even though summer is approaching quickly and there’s nothing I like more than slowly getting pickled on a Saturday afternoon I will reduce the boozing. Grrrrrr….

On the bright side, even though she said I could stand to lose a few pounds (which I agree with and is the purpose for my visits to the gym 4-5 days a week) she did comment that I seemed in pretty good health with a healthy blood pressure and a low heart rate. She asked if I had a history of jogging and I couldn’t help laughing a bit before saying no. I have been doing quite a bit of aerobic work over the last few months so that has probably helped my heart-rate, no?

So where do we stand after all of this, besides me admitting I may have bored you with Too Much Information™? I’m in good shape but I could be in a bit better shape and the jury is still out on what causes me to tear through bottle after bottle of Tums. However in an effort to answer the last point, I will avoid the heavy boozing and stick to the light tippling for a while. As a general rule. But not absolutely. I mean,. Photogal is out of town next weekend so how could I turn down such a chance to drink and drink and sit around my apartment in my underwear watching DVD after DVD of witty British television? Yay!

Saturday, April 17, 2004

DJ Tankboy spins at a house a bar!

Yup, Kiss-N-Ride is celebrating the release of their excellent new CD with a show styled after a good ol' fashioned house party at the Underground Lounge. Information, straight from the band, is as follows:

Kiss-N-Ride is back, and in full-force with their new CD, "Someone Killed My Generation".

This will be a show unlike any you've been to in a while - a great big party for us and you. No mismatched bill or even other bands, no crowds of people showing up and then leaving after the first act. That may be Somebody's Idea of Fun™, but not ours. We just want you to dance.

So Let's Kill Some Time at a HOUSE PARTY! DJ Mike Broers of Ghost Arcade kicks things off @ 9, Kiss-N-Ride plays @ 11 and then Tankboy will spin the rest of the night until they throw us out. Plus we'll be giving away FREE CDs all night to those who want 'em. Amen to that.

Friday, April 16, 2004

Foot-in-mouth narrowly averted.

First of all, I was going to go into a rant and then call a certain talent buyer here in Chicago because of the fact that last night’s Figgs show was sorely under-attended and a band I often work with had offered to be on the bill. This talent buyer said cool a call 'em the next day, so I did…and did…and did…and never heard back. This has happened a few times to me with various talent buyers around this area and all I can do is ask myself, “Was I like this when I booked a club?”

The answer is both yes and no. Photogal used to marvel at the fact that I actually listened to every crappy demo that came across my desk and made contact with just about every band that ever sent me a submission. On the other hand, I did from time to time get scatterbrained and forget a date someone was looking for or forget to call someone back. However, folks that called me day in and day out did get a call because their persistence wouldn’t allow that mess of clutter that is my brain to forget them.

So yeah, I was annoyed that there were so few folks at last night’s show when I also knew that had a local band been on the bill the attendance would have easily doubled or tripled. Regardless, The Figgs put on a great show, full of energy and character and judging by their actions their perception was that they were playing to a sold-out club packed full of admiring fans. I was taken a bit off-guard, though, at how heavily their set leaned on new material. I’ve been a fan of the group since the early ‘90s and this was my first time ever seeing them, so I would have like to hear more of what I considered “the hits” but all in all it was a solidly entertaining set.

And I managed to not get falling-down drunk on a Thursday for once! Photogal is so proud, I am sure…

Oh yes, I'm sure you're wondering why I decided not to rant and rage and probably shoot myself in the foot professionally? Let’s just say that the calming influence of my friend Rick provided the salve needed to avert such a tragedy. Thanks Rick.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Tax day?

Oh crap, I haven’t filed my taxes yet!
No time to talk, must arrange for those forms to hit the mail pronto…

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Hands up!

That’s right, hands up everyone who marveled at just how expertly George W. Bush handled that press conference last night. At one point they showed a shot of Condi “Why’d ya make me testify?” Rice and Dick “I may never be President but at least I can control one like a puppet with my ooky-spooky telepathy emanating from my super-sized noggin” that just made me laugh out loud. They so had that, “Dubya’s getting’ a spankin’ after this” look on their faces.


So at one point I thought that the press conference may be that mythical undoing of Bush, kind of like we are led to believe those early televised debates between J.F.K. and Nixon decided that election, until I realized I live in a nation populated with idiots who will probably forgive him because, heck, he’s just like them!

“Martha, I like that Dubya! I mean, under heavy questioning, who’s not going to freak out and fumble a few answers? I sure would!”

Um, people, people, the President should not be just another schlub. He’s running the largest fucking democracy on the Earth fer chrissakes! I mean, if we want someone “just like us” in office you may as well elect me! I guarantee my press conferences would be waaay funnier.

For example:

Q – Mr. President, how do you feel about the Iraq situation being labeled a “quagmire” in much of the press? Are you afraid of the Vietnam parallels that word couches?

A – Let me tell you about the word “quagmire.” “Quag” is launched from the Roman slang for “duck” as in “quag quag is the noise a duck makes.” “Mire” is the suffix to “ad” as in I admire that stunning ball gown you are wearing Mr. President.” So I have to admit that I don’t understand how the charge that we are admiring ducks would in any way connect the holy shit-storm overseas to the Vietnam situation we got ourselves stuck in almost 40 years ago. I just don’t see it. Next question?

See, wouldn’t I be cool as Commander-In-Chief?

And now, my favorite exchange of last night, taken directly from the transcript posted at the White House web-site:

Q Thank you, Mr. President. Sir, you've made it very clear tonight that you're committed to continuing the mission in Iraq. Yet, as Terry pointed out, increasing numbers of Americans have qualms about it. And this is an election year. Will it have been worth it, even if you lose your job because of it?

THE PRESIDENT: I don't plan on losing my job.

Good time, good times…

Tuesday, April 13, 2004


Boom-chicka-boom with
DJ Tankboy!

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday April 13, 2004
Free PBR from 8-9pm
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am


If you're in Quincy, Illinois then check out Rudy playing acoustic rock and/or roll
(more details here)

If you're in Chicago, Illinois then check out Tankboy
spinning at the Kiss-N-Ride record release show
at The Underground Lounge
(more details here)

Features of the week:

!!! - Louden Up Now
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
Kiss-N-Ride - Someone Killed My Generation
Local H - Whatever Happened To PJ Soles?
Modest Mouse - Good News For People Who Love Bad News
N.E.R.D. - Fly Or Die
The Secret Machines - Now Here Is Nowhere
Wilco - A Ghost Is Born

Wicked cool, eh?

1056 N Damen
Chicago, IL

The Chicago RedEye says: "The teeny tables and scant booths don't leave a whole lot of room for sitting, but the crowd (hipsters from all over the city) is mainly music fans who are more comfortable on their feet anyway. Stop in on Tuesday nights, when the DJ plays the best retro-rock this side of Detroit Rock City...."

Monday, April 12, 2004

Who said technical writing wasn't fun?

It certainly wasn't me. While I haven't personally run into diagrams of this nature, they certainly do not surprise me. My favorite is this kid.

(Thanks to Joe & Jen for sending me the links.)
Vacation, have to get away…

I’m back and feeling better than I was a week ago, that’s for sure. Photogal and I had a pretty nice time in New Orleans, aside from her thinking I occasionally drank too much and me occasionally thinking she wasn’t drinking enough and then the suspected attack of the oysters that Photogal’s stomach suffered from for the remainder of the trip. All in all, though, it was definitely a much needed and rather nice get-away. We went bowling to Zydeco music, explored areas of Uptown and the Warehouse district we had never seen before, saw The Darkness in an over-packed and unbelievably hot House Of Blues and I even found a gym where I was able to put in a pretty good workout each day to stave off some of the damage caused by Oreo pies and beignets!

Thursday, April 08, 2004


Don't wait up.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004


I think I am growing an alien life-form in my belly button.

Also, I've always said that modern-rock radio stars are only good for about one songe. Those sad fucks in Nickelback went and proved it. Some guy synced up two of their hits, one in the left speaker and one in the right, and lo and behold it's the same fucking song with different words. What's even sadder is that the new synced version actually sounds kind of cool due to slight delays and sonic weirdness.

Anyway, download the tune here and commence with the laughing off of the ass.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Who knew?

Maureen Dowd

You are Maureen Dowd! You like to give people silly nicknames and write in really short, non-sequitur paragraphs. You're the most playful of the columnists and a rock-ribbed liberal, but are often accused of being too flamboyant and frivolous. You tend to focus on style over substance, personality over politics. But your heart is in the right place. Plus, you are a total fox.

Which New York Times Op-Ed Columnist Are You?

Hmmm...well I have been called girly in the past -- and I am a total fox -- so I'll take it!



DJ Tankboy!

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday April 6, 2004
Free PBR from 8-9pm
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

Features of the week:

Wilco - A Ghost Is Born
Local H - Whatever Happened To PJ Soles?
Modest Mouse - Good News For People Who Love Bad News
The Magnetic Fields - I
N.E.R.D. - Fly Or Die
The Secret Machines - Now Here Is Nowhere
The Ponys - Laced With Romance


1056 N Damen
Chicago, IL

The Chicago RedEye says: "The teeny tables and scant booths don't leave a whole lot of room for sitting, but the crowd (hipsters from all over the city) is mainly music fans who are more comfortable on their feet anyway. Stop in on Tuesday nights, when the DJ plays the best retro-rock this side of Detroit Rock City...."

Monday, April 05, 2004

Life during wartime.

Yeah, lotsa pressure at work right now. I’ve got a million things to do before I leave for New Orleans later this week for vacation so that means you’re all gonna be neglected.

Or not...we’ll just have to see. If my posts are boring over the next few days might I recommend checking out The Watergirl’s stuff? Captivating, well written and one of the most immediately engaging blogs I've come across. I know I got Mark hooked on it and once you start reading I’m sure you’ll be hooked too.

Also, the soundtrack getting me through these hectic times? Tommy O'Donnell's stunning new disc Pioneer's like the super-solid all-killer, no-filler Gudied By Voices album that Guided By Voices never actually recorded. It's mind-boggling. I have to get him a show in Chicago...

Friday, April 02, 2004

Important Safeguards and Additional Warnings

When using the Tankboy basic safety precautions should always be followed, including the following:

1. Do not place the Tankboy where it can fall or be pulled into a tub or sink unless your going to climb in there right beside him and get all naked.

2. Always unplug the Tankboy immediately after using.

3. Close supervision is necessary when the Tankboy is used by or near children or invalids.

4. Never block the air openings of the Tankboy or place him on a soft surface such as a bed or couch unless you intend on doing something sorta squishy and sweaty with him.

5. Never drop or insert the Tankboy into any opening. On second thought…ignore that safeguard. Insert the Tankboy as you will.

6. Tankboy may be hot during use. Allow him to cool before handling.

7. Do not operate the Tankboy with a voltage converter. Unfortunately he does not swing both ways.

8. Remove all jewelry before using the Tankboy. He has sticky fingers or so we’ve been told.

9. Always use the Tankboy on clean dry skin – Remove all make-up before use.

10. The Tankboy is for personal use, do not share with others. Really, it’s not worth the emotional risk.

11. Always store the Tankboy in a moisture-free area after gently wiping him down.

The Tankboy is not a toy.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

How rock am I? Pretty fucking rock!

So last night Rudy and I hit the town and caught our friend Skid’s new band, The Ladies and Gentlemen, as they were opening for The National. It was easily the best show I’ve seen Skid put on in a long time and his new merry band of pranksters providing the noise behind his melody are a crack team rock and/or rollers. After his set the second band was less invigorating than the mood called for so we set about looking for a new diversion. And boy did we find it. Across the street at The Double Door. The show of the millennium.

Bob Guiney A.K.A. Bachelor Bob was rocking out with his very own rock band!

Forget the fact that he slaughtered Cheap Trick’s “The Dream Police” while on stage. Forget that he turned in a pedestrian cover of The Cult’s “Fire Woman.” Forget that most of his music was like Toad The Wet Sprocket-lite if you can believe such a thing is possible (and it is.) Forget the fact that the show was opened with the announcement that Bob would be available for photographs after the set. Forget the ridiculous number of roses littering the club.

I forgot and forgive all the above because Bachelor Bob is excellent at one thing: Ladies love Bachelor Bob so his shows are attended almost entirely by women. Hot, single, cute women. Hot, single, cute women ho arte incredibly friendly and absolutely no frat-boy assholes around to spoil their giddy mood.It was awesome!

If I was single I probably would have lost my mind. I have never had so many girls offer to buy me drinks out of the blue before (for the record, I accepted no free drinks) and one guy was smart enough to situate himself in the middle of the room so he was constantly dancing with girls all night long. It was unbelievable.

And that’s not all!

Rudy and I actually wrangled ourselves a picture of us with Bachelor Bob! Holy mackerel, it just doesn’t get any better does it? It’s sure to be our next flyer for our DJ nights at Tenn56 so as soon as that gets slapped together I’ll post the photo over at DoneWaiting.

So thank you, Bachelor Bob, for an unexpectedly enjoyable evening. My only regret was, yet again, missing The National’s set. I booked them at The Pontiac about a year ago and they started early so I only caught their last song and I seem doomed to keep repeating that experience. At least Bachelor Bob took a bit of the sting out.