Friday, December 31, 2004

Apparently I am not so sneaky after all.

Looks like I spoke too soon about successfully dodging the birthday photo-taking last Tuesday. First I saw myself in the background here...and then (how did I miss this?) I'm right here!

My favorite shot of $in?

Right here.
Year-end wrap-up.

Thanks to The Watergirl for saving me the trouble of having to actually put together a few cohesive paragraphs summing up my year. Instead I will just use this handy-dandy questionnaire I found one her site. Lazy? Yes. So what?

Also, I wanted to mention just how awesome the last Sweet Alice Tuesday of 2004 was. Multiple birthday parties combined with folks on vacation plus lots of beer and spirits made for a terrifically fun and dance-filled evening. An added bonus? I managed to escape being photographed all night long! Double-plus-good!

Okay, the wrap-up...

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Um, hmmm. Thanks for the light and easy puffball start-off there. I guess seeing my dad die was something I've never done before.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Well, I joined a gym late last December and I'm still going there regularly and I reckon that's the closest thing to a resolution I yes, I did keep my New year's resolution.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! My brother and his wife introduced my nephew Alex into the world.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Um, yeah.

5. What countries did you visit?
This year? Only Mexico. I was lame.

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Mo' money, mo' money, mo' money! Then I can visit more foreign countries!

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
The day my dad died. For obvious reasons, I think.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Last year I said I wanted to expand my writing to other venues and I did, so I'm pretty happy with that.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not visiting my dad enough while he was in the retrospect I was obviously avoiding even the prospect of his not beating the cancer that was eating him up.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Other than Betty's mistaking my hand for a steak in the middle of the night, I did pretty well this year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I don't know. I was pretty pleased with the "More Cowbell" shirt I got Photogal this Christmas.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My brother Sean. Let's just say that, to my family, he was indispensable this year.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Let me think...there's another local booking agent that misinterpreted some things I said and then passed them on to some bands I worked with but I got over that sine I really, in retrospect again, think it was an honest misinterpretation. I guess if that's the worst I've seen this year then it's been a pretty good year!

14. Where did most of your money go?
Debt from the almost year of being unemployed. I hate debt. Ugh.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
David Bowie at the Rosemont Theater. It was awesome.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
The Killers ditty "Somebody Told Me" since it marked the beginning of the New York dance-rock invasion of Sweet Alice Tuesdays this spring/summer.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you (i) happier or sadder?
The same I think.

(ii.) thinner or fatter?
About the same, even though I go to the gym religiously. However I have put on a fair amount of muscle while at the same time still drinking the booze and eating the sweets so I guess if I'm holding the status quo that's a pretty fine place to be.

(iii.) richer or poorer?
Even with a generous raise from my boss earlier this year I'd have to say poorer. I haven't been booking nearly as many rock and/or roll shows as I used to...

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Reading. I so miss having the time to read like I used to.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Sitting at home missing a kick-ass rock show because I'm lame and tired and (getting) older.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my mom, my brothers, my sister-in-law and my awesome nephew…and Photogal!

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
I think I fall in love a little bit with every new friend I meet, so sure.

23. How many one night stands?
Did Photogal and I have any sex while standing up at night this year? I can’t remember….

24. What was your favorite TV program(s)?
Arrested Development. I also re-fell in love with Sledgehammer.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No. Actually the only guy I was slightly miffed at -- aside from the aforementioned booking agent -- straightened things out with me this past Tuesday so everything is all good.

26. What was the best book you read?
It's been a slow reading year for me, but I did enjoy D.F.W.'s Oblivion. I'm still reading Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell and will risk my Snobby Lit-cred to say it's a highly enjoyable read thus far.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
By discovery I'll take that as music that took me by complete surprise. In that case, the Surferosa show at Schuba's fits that bill perfectly. Absolutely crazy.

28. What did you want and get?
Quite a few multi-dic DVD sets that I would have never bought for myself.

29. What did you want and not get?
That free iPod...folks keep signing up but only one whas actually completed the trial offer. Oh well, I will be patient.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Geez, I hate this question. Spiderman II ruled sequel-wise, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou ruled emotional-wise, Fahrenheit 9/11 just plain ruled as long as you took it with a grain of salt and The Incredibles helped me split the appreciation level evenly between four years old and thirty-two years old. Not a very artsy list, I admit, but honest nonetheless. Oh yeah! I also dug Shaun Of the Dead...funny.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
I booked a rock show with most of my favorite Chicago bands and got drunk as a skunk. I ended the evening spinning my friend Kristi upside down in Estelle's while Photogal and my little brother patiently waited for me to run out of steam.

32. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Seeing my dad beat cancer.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
The same look I've been rocking for the past couple years. Jeans, T-shirts, Docs, the chunky leather watch...face it, I look like a gas station attendant half the time. I rediscovered my love of black suit coats though.

34. What kept you sane?
Betty the Beagle.

35. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
Pardon the dirty old man tendency, but Lindsey Lohan finally came across my radar with Mean Girls. I also began to really dig Jude Law's acting so you could say I fancied him a touch.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
What political issue DIDN'T stir me up? That's a better question...

37. Who did you miss?
My dad.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Lucy the Dog…whom we rescued in Wicker Park shortly before moving the West Side.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
Um, no. It'll just sound so cliché.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Um, no.

So there you have it. See you next year!

Monday, December 27, 2004

I'm on vacation...
downin' Red Bull and eatin' Cheetos, y'all!

So expect sparse posting. Especially since I got so many kick-ass DVDs for Christmas (methinks I'm gonna spend one whole day watching Brazil in all its varieties and commentaries alone) and I really need some down-time doing nothing. Also, last Wednesday I was too lazy to get off the couch and change the channel when the OC came on, saw the Chrismakkuh episode and am now intrigued. So my brother lent my the whole first season so I can get acquainted with the show.

Damnit...and I had been doing so well at avoiding that particular cultural groundswell too!

Oh well, back to my vacation. Answers to the Quiz will be posted in a few days so get yours in now!

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Need to kill a few minutes?

I made a Quiz for you!

Take my Quiz! and then check out the Scoreboard!


What if Pete Townsend and Brian Wilson teamed up? More to the point, what happens when you mash songs by The Who and song by The Beach Boys together? You get The Who Boys.

Download The Who Boys Who Vibration album, it's fun!
Third wave of ska, my ass!

Almost all the press about the Blue Meanies tends to lump ‘em into the whole ska movement of the ‘90s and hails them as the vanguard of the “third wave of ska.” That’s a bunch of crap. The Blue Meanies are as much a ska band as the Beatles are a skiffle group. The Blue Meanies are a punk band in the sense that they literally draw on EVERYTHING around them, chop it, dice it, spruce it up and then launch it in a terrifyingly energetic live show. In this respect they are far more similar to, say, Mr. Bungle than they are to the Toasters.

My history with the band goes waaaay back to my first years of college when I would dance my ass off at their shows and I eventually traded a few letters (remember those archaic things in the pre-internet days?) with the Meanies’ frontman Billy Spunke. I remember when my band opened for them we thought we had reached the top since we respected the Meanies so much. Years passed, I lost touch with the band as they grew further afield of what turned me on musically and eventually I heard they had broken up.

I heard a few months ago they were reuniting for a few shows in Chicago to launch the re-release of Full Throttle -- which confused me since Kiss Your Ass Goodbye was such a better disc – and I grew slowly excited at then prospect of seeing ‘em perform again. Fast forward to last night’s packed, sweaty and PBR and bourbon drenched show at The Double Door and all I could do nothing more than agree with Spunke’s musing, “Who would’ve thought this would happen?”

It was a fun show. Not so much filled with familiar faces as it was filled with familiar memories. When the group kicked into “Grandma Shampoo” as the second song in a looong set I was suddenly 18 again and in the Gallery down in Normal slamdancing and making out with my first serios college and freaky dancin’ girlfriend. When the band kicked into “Ace Of Spades I was moved to call my friend Dan Ryan, whom I haven’t spoken to in well over a year even though we used to be inseperable, and had to share the fact that one of our favorite bands was playing his personal theme song. Then I asked him if it was true that he was dating the Fox morning weather girl and he assured me he was. Definitly the hottest girl Dan’s ever dated. Anyway.

The long and short of it is that I had a blast last night and realized you could have fun with nostalgia without drowning yourself in sentiment.

Vacation in the land of cute!

I start my vacation tomorrow and will probably post during that time, but in case I do get my holiday wishes and do nothing other than watch DVDs and drink bourbon all next week I suppoes I should leave a few pictures to tide you over.

First, we have a photo of my friend Darcell's new dog. His name is Sam. Hopefully I'll get to meet him one day becasue he looks super cuddly.

Then we have my nephew displaying a predominant trait that runs through my family...the ability to "turn on the charm." Adorable, eh?

Hmmm, you can't get cuter than that so with that, I will wish you a Happy Festivus.

On to the feats of strength!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Sometimes these things are so right on they're scary!

You Are Liz Phair!

Sexy tough indie girl...
Who's not afraid to be a little girly
"I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho Supergoddess"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz

These things are NEVER wrong so I am a Supergoddess! Please address me as such from now on as a drunkenly wallow in my newfound power-trip.

Hmmm...maybe I ned to stop staring at my computer screen and go for a walk or something...
It's awful quiet around here...

It's that time of year when almost everyone is out on vacation¹, so the office is pretty desolate. The plus is that I'm getting a lot of work done, but the minus is that it's, well, a little creepy. One of the engineers even told me he liked the fact I'm such a heavy typist -- since I'm writing quite a few manuals I'm typing alot lately -- as it reminded him that there were in fact other folks in the vicinity. this place would be a great setting for a zombie movie or something riht now.

So in the spirit of the holidays, I give you this:

More Fun With Santa™ photos can be found here. Hee-larious. And with that, back to my heavy typing of the instruction books that keep rushing down the line at me.

¹I'm saving my own vacation for next week. I'm deathly afraid Photogal is right this second busy dreaming up chores and tasks for me to accomplish during my time off, when all I want to do is loaf on the couch watching DVDs and maybe go out and get it on with a little holiday consumption of various libations a few nights next week.

Late start this morning, gotta get into work. Last night was (obviously) fun. I got to meet, though not really talk to, some of the other writers for Chicago MetBlog as well as one of the Gaper's Block folks.¹ Bloggers are cooler than you think.² Much loud music was played and many Festivus shots were consumed. I was also able to explain the historical importance of The Clash to James in under ten sentences. (They key to understanding the band, by the way, is to understand that they were one of the first punk groups to actually employ the notion of a melting pot of influences rather than merely paying lip service to or merely aping their heroes.)

Tonight is the Blue Meanies reunion at Double Door. I can't wait. Those guys were my heroes in the early '90s even though they sort of strayed from what I thought were their stronger points around 1996 or so. Whatever. They always put on a killer live show and tonight should be extra vicious and chock full o' Holiday Cheer™!

Apparently my friends are more than capable of having fun when I'm not around.

Seeing the two pictures below makes me really wish I hadn't missed the GinaJayleeKelly Holiday Party last weekend...

Oh well, there's always next year!

(Though, of course, you girls don't have to wait that long to have another party, y'know.)

¹For the record, and I can only speak in reltion to the experience of meeting the other bloggers, but we blew away the preconception that bloggers need be pale, quivering, overweight types fertively typing away by the glow of a computer screen. Chicago bloggers are a pretty good looking bunch. And we're smart too! But you knew that already.

²Though I can't figure out for the life of me how I didn't end up on this blogger's site. Is there no justice in the world that obviously revolves around me?!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004


It's our
and our

What better way to spend one of the longest nights of the year?

DJs Tankboy
Rudy Tuesday

Hosted bar with FREE BOOZE from 8:30pm-10pm
FREE Pizza and Wings from 8:30-10pm
Stunning musical selections from 8:30pm until 2am

Pssst...I also have it on good authority that
Jenny Evil will be providing baked goodies too!

The hottest tunes.
The slinkiest holiday greetings.
The sexiest DJs in Chicago.
Festivus joy minus the Feats Of Strength.

What more could you ask for?

Tonight and every Tuesday.
Only at Ten56.


And don't tell me I never teach you nothin'!

On this day in 1970, Elvis Presley met with President Richard M. Nixon in the Oval Office to discuss fighting drugs. If memory serves me right, since I was of course the one to give The King a ride to the White House that day, Elvis was stoned out of his gourd at the time and I had to wipe off a bit of peanut butter and banana paste that had attached itself to the corners of his mouth just before he was admitted to his audience with the Prez.


Monday, December 20, 2004

Seriously dude, it's freezing out there.

Yesterday we were supposed to go ice skating, but since I find no fun in using other's dead and frozen bodies as my skating surface we decided to invite my mom and brother into the city for lunch at a Jewish deli a few blocks from our place and then a viewing of Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events.

The movie rocked, by the way. Aside from being so visually influenced by Edward Gorey that it's not funny, it also reminded me of something that might have been created by a younger Tim Burton with today's technologies. It was everything a holiday movie for kids should be; dark, creepy, murderous, filled with dread punctuated by occasional moments of (brief) triumph and an ambiguous ending. As Mr. Burns would say, "Excellent."

ADDENDUM: To be fair to Burton, I did see the preview for Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and that looks like it will indeed also rock. As a matter of fact, I think while it was playing all I could say was, "Holy shit" and that was the point Photogal punched me in the arm and reminded me we were surrounded by a bunch of kids who were there to also see Lemony Snicket¹. Johnny Depp looks downright creepy in the previews so that gives me hope that the movie will be just as twisted as Roald Dahl's original visions. "Excellent," again, I dare say.

¹Which reminds me, it's really not a movie for little keep 'em over the ages of eight or nine since that's about when they stop babbling and can enjoy a good nightmare inducing holiday yarn.

Friday, December 17, 2004

I totally shouldn't do this, since I was keeping it for myself...

...but I ran into Scott last night and I decided that everyone should be exposed to Local H's wickedly killer version of Britney Spears' "Toxic." It's been a regular tune at Sweet Alice Tuesdays and people always ask where I get it.

Here's where you can get it to. Just left click on Brian and save the high quality MP3.

Enjoy and have yourself a Happy Festivus.
Unexpected vacation day.

So I just got back from taking Betty the beagle to the vet for a visit that extended far beyond what I expected so I, due to the gracious nature of my boss, decided to take a last-minute vacation day. Now, however, I have no idea what to do with myself for the remainder of the day!

Let’s see, I have a good friend from out of town coming in today and my brother is coming in to hang out with me tonight AND Mark is playing his last show with Light FM AND my friend Julia is having a holiday party so I have the evening pretty well covered. It’s just the hours in-between then and now that I’m not sure how to fill.

I was listening to Bill Moyer on Fresh Air in the car on the way here and they were talking about his imminent retirement from television tonight but they also mentioned that, at seventy years old, he’s celebrating his fiftieth wedding anniversary with his wife this week.

Fifty years. Wow.

Sometimes I wonder if Photogal and I will ever hit the fifty-year mark. Sometimes it seems certain that we will and at other times it seem equally certain that we will be lucky to hit the next-five-minutes mark. I think that’s not unusual though. I mean, sometimes I’m certainly less than perfect and, while I would never say the same about her myself, I’m sure Photogal feels she would fall in the same category. That’s fair, right?

Anyway, I was listening to Bill Moyer and I thought back to high school when I first encountered his interviews with Joseph Campbell that led to my own reading of The Power Of Myth, and I realized that Moyers had had quite an effect on me through his introduction of Campbell into my life. Before then I had been a pretty basic Catholic boy filled with the usual self-doubt and self-polluting tendencies, but with the introduction of the themes that coursed through The Power Of Myth I realized that my idea of spirituality needn’t be constrained to one narrow religious view since the precepts that formed the basis of that religion seemed to form the basis of pretty much every other religion that was out there. This immediately expanded my world-view and helped me understand the concept of “different yet the same” that has, I just discovered, informed my own personal philosophy.

Neat, eh?

Then I started thinking about all the teachers I've had that have made a difference in my life and how I should list them and write about them and pay them tribute in an effort to continue building the basis of the mythology that has formed and informed my own life and, while I believe I should do that in the near future, I realized that would probably bore the hell out of anyone other than myself right now.

See, this is the kind of stuff I come up with when I have too much free time so I think it’s time I put my day off to good use and play with my dogs right now.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Avril Lavigne is a roller derby fan? Who knew?!

Let’s hear for Avril giving a shout-out to the oh-so-lovely and oh-so-tough ladies of the Windy City Rollers!

See? She’s got taste…
FAME...I wanna live forever!

This guy has some mad dancing skillz and is oh-so-suave...right up until he totally busts himself. (credz Photogal for this link)

And once you've succesfully digested that little flick, you can get your own groove on right here. (credz Melissa for that link)

No time to really write anything today since I'm super pressed for time, but here's a photo of me at Photogal's Christmas party getting a smackeroo on the cheek from the guy who put the whole soiree together. Good job Wenner!

Sorry about the camera angle, as the party was drawing to a close Photogal realized she had completely forgotten to snap any pictures so I ran around just blinding everybody with the flash and trying to capture the best record I could of the festivities. I'd say I captured the spirit of the party pretty well in the above photo, wouldn't you??

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Do I look like I'm kidding?

I am seriously enjoying about 60% of the new Kelly Clarkson album. Seriously. She's getting all girl rock-ish and it suits her pipes well. Do the songs have any blod or guts? Hellz no, but they sure are a lot of fun.

Also, she could also very well be this generation's Bonnie Tyler, so where's Jim Steinman when you need 'im?

Now, everyone breakdance!

My nephew is straight out of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Okay, enough frivolity, break's over.
What I learned last night.

  • When it’s really fucking cold no one shows up at Ten56. Okay, amend that. People show up when it’s cold after it’s been cold for a while, but Chicago has been hit by the frigid winds pretty late this season so folks haven’t had time to adjust.
  • Skid and Jeramy are troopers because, even in the cold, they’ll show up and shoot pool all night long.
  • Skid is also a true gentleman because he realized the guy he was playing pool against was the same guy who took a swing at him a few months ago. The guy didn’t remember so Skid took the high road and just kept on shooting.
  • Photogal loves the Southern boogie-rock and so do the majority of the folks left over from drinking the free beer from 8 until 9 at Ten56.
  • Better Off Dead is still laugh out loud funny even when you’re only reading the subtitles.
  • Stripes is awfully similar to Full Metal Jacket in that the first half of the movie is genius but the closing act is less than perfect. This doesn’t keep either Bill Murray or Matthew Modine from being any less godly in their acting abilities.
  • Fifteen minute cab rides home are the perfect time to plug in your iPod.
  • Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon is the perfect soundtrack to pipe through your iPod on a fifteen minute cab ride home.
  • Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of the Moon reminded me of the only thing I really enjoyed about getting high in high school in that I would go home, pull on my Walman’s headphones and pop in the Floyd. Or Jane’s Addiction’s “Ted, Just Admit It.” It really just depended on my mood.
  • I can’t believe that’s Rudy in the picture below. (You can click on the photo itself to enlarge the picture and get a better look.)

  • I mean, he looks like he’s seventeen or something! It’s wild.
  • I’m getting off topic, aren’t I?
  • I also learned that when the girl that grabbed your ass at your girlfriend’s Christmas party shows up at the bar you’re DJing at it looks really bad…until another of your girlfriend’s co-workers shows up and it turns out he suggested the bar.
  • Apparently girls ask other girls how they met their boyfriends, how long they’ve been together and stuff like that, especially when the girl asking is going through a break-up. I guess it’s some sort of “well, it works for them so it’ll work for me someday” thing. For the record, guys never ask each other those sorts of questions. At least they don’t ask those questions of virtual strangers.
  • Chicks dig the shorter hair. Who knew?
  • Punk rockers can’t tell the difference between a Lindsay Lohan track and The Muffs. Seriously. Nothing funnier than watching some skinhead bop along to Lohan’s “First.”
  • Tom really will stick around all night long to make sure I don't play anything by Paris Hilton. He didn't catch the lohan track either, though. Ha!
  • Man, is Better Of Dead so funny!

Okay, now I’m just repeating myself, though the repeated point really cannot be stressed enough, so I’ll take my leave for the day.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

As of today, my inevitable Best Music Of 2004 list is up over at

You know you've been waiting breathlessly for me to sum up my views on what was hot (i.e. "That's hot!") and what was not (i.e. "Bummer, dude.") because you value my opinion oh-so-much. Right?

Tankboy's Best of 2004 List is right here
so make with the clicky clicky!

In other news, the lovely Photogal will be guest DJing along with me for the crew over at Ten56 tonight so expect lots of cowbell. From me? Expect lotsa cool new music as well as a flurry of holiday tunes since I'm in that holiday mood.

Slalom y'all!

Monday, December 13, 2004

A Public Service.

A few days ago the Chicago Tribune refused to run the daily strip of the Get Fuzzy cartoon. I read this almost regularly because a) Canadians are generally pretty funny, b) it tends to be less than reverent and a bit skewed about lots of things and c) the artist obviously grew up on Bloom County like I did. Anyway, I ended up going on-line to see what sort of content was contained in a strip so offensive that the Trib refused to run it. Here it is:

(Click on the image to blow it up if'n you can't read it so good.)

That is fucking hilarious! How could you not run that?! I mean, really. Too much.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Hubba hubba.


This week's Entertainment Weekly just popped through my mail slot and the photo of Lindsey Lohan is, um, how do you say? Hubba hubba. How could Fez go from that to Ashlee Simpson?

And can it be said that, unlike some people, I have never lost faith in Lohan? I might have to spin that opening track off her new disc on Tuesday. Along with Paris Hilton's lead-off single, "Screwed," which is surprisingly not awful.

Friday, December 10, 2004


Download your own cards here.
Cut 'em up.
Hand them out.

Have plans for the weekend?

I do. Tonight is Photogal's holiday party for her place of employment which means I'll be getting liquored up with a bunch of crazy and fun advertising types.

Tomorrow is a crunch becasue Josiah and the Ginas are playing at Pontiac about the same time Woolworthy and Menthol are playing Bottom Lounge. I've gotta be at Pontiac, but I'm gonna try and make both shows.

I suggest you do the same. You never know how long a good thing's gonna last...

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Why my company’s holiday party kicks your company’s holiday party’s ass…unless you had someone like the Flaming Lips play at your party in which case I retract my claim.

Seriously, I am absolutely NOT the guy who goes to company functions. I like the people I work with and even enjoy spending time with them outside of the office, but forced jaunts of “fun” usually feel pretty flat for me. So it was no wonder that I viewed this year’s holiday party, my first since I was out of town last year at this time, with a bit of trepidation. Also Photogal tends to frown at me furiously drinking at these sorts of events in an effort to “loosen up” and “integrate” more fully.

I needn’t have worried at all. The party included, but was certainly not limited to, the following events:

  • A kick-ass steak dinner was served (Photogal had the fish) and even though our wine was late due to a painfully old server that Photogal really thought should be at home knitting things for grandkids there were two other bars that were open the whole time.
  • Our water glasses had little ice cubes that light up when they came in contact with water. This was way cooler than I’m making it sound.
  • Hula dancing and a dude who did a fire dance. This was thrilling if vaguely upsetting due to certain of the male dancer’s, um, attributes slipping out of the extremely small strip of cloth covering his, um, attributes. The ladies loved this though.
  • I loved watching one of the guys I work with put a flower in his hair, don a grass skirt and dance with with wife. He rules.
  • Air hockey!
  • Also, Ms Pacman, Galaga, basketball, foosball and a number of other arcade games revealed when the walls on either side of the dining room opened up to reveal hidden rooms behind them.
  • On the other side was an area filled with freshly baked cookies, chocolate fountains, all kinds of sweets and some guys making personal ice cream sundaes for everyone.
  • A monkey! To pet and hold and feed! (He really liked strawberries covered in white yogurt.)
  • Personal massages and manicures. I hadn’t had a massage of any sort for about five or six years so that was REALLY nice.
    - Cash prizes! I only won twenty bucks that was stapled to a rose but, heck, Photogal got the rose and I walked out with twenty bucks I didn’t have when I walked in!
  • Did I mention the monkey? Yes!
  • We had party crashers. Another company was having their own party across the hall and, next to ours, it was pretty sad. The plus was that their company seemed to be filled with hot twenty-something females so I certainly didn’t mind them sneaking in. A couple of the other attendees did not share my view and as one of my co-workers was over heard saying, “I told that little bitch to get out of our party before I kicked her ass.” Okay, fair enough.

Most importantly, even though there was LOTS of free booze flowing I was having such a great time I didn’t even drink that much. I also learned that when it comes to the dance floor, a great number of my co-workers are fearless about shaking their thing and I really respect that. I might have even danced too if I hadn’t been so worried that my, um, over energetic style might have put someone’s eye out or something.

Yes, my company holiday party pretty much completely rocked. How was yours?

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

My nephew is so "street."

NOTE: This picture-only post is in no way connected to Tankboy having woken up late because there was no alarm set and he really didn't have time to write anything before heading off to work. Also, this post is in no way riddled with self-doubt that the phrase "street" may be incredibly passe and totally date Tankboy and betray that he is no longer really "with it" or "down with the kids these days."

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

$75,000 haunted canes and haunted thongs?!

The cane.
The thong.
My thoughts on both of these.

For real.

Thanks for having so much time on your hands you could bring this to my attention, Photogal!
Too much money makes baby turn mean?

I work in a rather wealthy suburb of Chicago. Okay, rather wealthy may be an understatement.

I work in a filthy rich suburb of Chicago.

Just this morning I was almost run off the road by some anorexic housewife driving an H2 and trying to juggle her venti Starbuck’s glass and her cell phone. A few days ago I had to pick up some groceries on the way into the office and the guy bagging my stuff was already almost out the door with my goods before I had finished paying. I caught up to him and he informed me everyone got their groceries carried to their cars.

I had two plastic bags of groceries!

I told him it really wasn’t necessary and marveled to myself that some folks would actually allow some young dude to carry their six-pack of SlimFast out to their imported SUV. Could people really be that lazy? Even worse, could people really feel such a sense of entitlement?

Apparently so.

I won’t even go into the nightmare of trying to order a coffee at Starbucks if your income is obviously under three hundred grand a year.

The kicker is that I never see people smile around here. The few times I’ve seen even the facsimile of a smile it usually comes across as a pained rictus stretching across the cheeks and jaw, and for all I know it could just be a poorly healed face-lift. It’s just so…foreign…to me.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t entertain any playful notions that any of these folks feel in the least bit unfulfilled or unhappy. Actually I’m quite certain that they are, as a general group, very pleased with both themselves and their station in life.

I suppose that when I was younger I would either hate or pity the people that live out here, but that is just the sort or knee-jerk reaction prompted by intolerance disguised as a disdain for a class system. Instead I can view these people as annoying when they cut me off or butt in line in front of me or treat their hired help poorly, but they really behave no differently than the impatient driver downtown or the harried office assistant trying to get five coffees upstairs ASAP before she gets chewed out by her boss.

These are people with goals and ambitions that are foreign to me, but their behavior is merely average albeit a behavior exaggerated by that sense of entitlement I mentioned earlier. I just wish they’d hang up their fucking cell-phones if they’re going to try and pilot a half-ton of metal and a venti Starbucks at the same time.

Let's hear it for $in!

Rudy and I will be joined by $in tonight at Ten56 as we turn up the rock and/or roll at our Sweet Alice Tuesday residency.

Come and marvel at my unfortunate song selections!
Stare in awe at Rudy's unspeakable love for both Paul Westerberg and Barry White!
Allow a shocked a stunned silence to envelope you as $in tears into his massive air guitar!

Slalom y'all!

Monday, December 06, 2004

My company throws a hell of a holiday party.

Even someone as "too-cool-for-school" as yours truly had a blast. However, I have no time today to describe how fun it was to you. Instead, I offer this picture of my friends Jim and Gidget?s sure to be psychologically traumatized child for your enjoyment:

See what happens when ex-punk rockers have babies? Actually, a kid could not ask for two cooler parents. Jim and Gidge are the epitome of awesome. And look how much fun that baby is having before she can even walk? Yow!

Friday, December 03, 2004

So you don't have any plans yet tonight?

I'll be at InnJoy to see/hear/dance to the sounds my friends Jeramy and Omar will be spinning. Tunes by New Order and the like will certainly be spun and boys in eyeliner and girls, um, with generous attributes should be in abundance.

Also, there’ll be free drinks from 9-10 so you can’t beat that!
At least I think I'm funny.

So tomorrow my company is having their holiday party and each year these things have a different theme. This year has a nautical/cruise theme so everybody keeps asking everybody else what they’re going to wear to stay within the theme.

I keep saying I’m wearing Speedos®, a fake tan and some big gold chains since that's what I would imagine most folks wear when they’re relaxing on a cruise around the Bahamas.

I keep getting funny looks each time I say that...
Ungodly hours.

Why oh why oh why did Photogal set Betty the Beagle's vet appointment for six tonight? That means I have to be up waaaay early to get into work waaaay early so I can leave early enough to battle the rush hour traffic all the way back to our house before I can pick up Betty and then battle traffic to get to the heart of that treacherous and godless wasteland known as Lincoln Park.

To those outside of Chicago, Lincoln Park is an area populated by Jettas and bubbly gals with perfect hair and make-up looking to marry slighlty soft aging frat boys with bulging expense accounts and suspiciously oily looking hair. This is the land of tequila body shots and social smoking. It is as foreign to me as the locales in Survivor (oddly enough, the tee-vee show of choice around Lincoln Park.)

Enough whining since this could easily turn into a paragraphs-long rant but I have to go...I'm in a hurry y'know.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Just a thought.

I forgot how quickly and easily one can style short hair in the morning! And at the gym, after I work out, all I have to do is wet my hands, scrub said hands through the thicket on top of my noggin and, voila, punky/preppy goodness ensues!

And now, another photo of me enjoying my new haircut:

And, under the heading of “holy sheez”:

The most requested online definition this year was "blog" -- a word not even yet officially in the dictionary, Merriam-Webster says. (full story)

Y'know, that seems so silly it has sucked the snark right out of me.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Deja vu, only better

Photogal did such a superior retouch job on this photo I just had to post it again. If you would like to compare it to my previous pitiful attempt at filling in Lucy the Dog's eyes, click here.

Last night was surprisingly fun given the amount of snow that was thrusting itself onto Chicago's braod shoulders. The bar was actually crowded and folks were really digging the music. Also, in the middle of our DJ sets I snuck out and got a huge haircut from Jenny Evil. See?

Ain't I handsome? Jenny rules. Anyway, I have loTs more pictures from last night on my camera phone (I love the fact it takes good photos in next to no light) so maybe I'll share when I have the time. Right now I have to go grocery shopping on my way into work. I love days when we test recipes on appliances because it means I get to snack all day!

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

In defense of Gwen? Not so much.

Matthew over at Fluxblog has given a very well reasoned defense of the new Gwen Stefani solo disc. I have already gone on the record as saying that I think the disc is a stinker aside from a few bright spots, one of which sounds like a New Order track.

Then I found out the track I liked that sounded like a New Order track should since Peter Hook plays the bass line on it!

Anyway, Matthew has made a really well reasoned defense. I still don’t agree with him or like the album all that much – and don’t really consider myself a rockist so much as a rock and/or roller (and yes there is a difference) – but his writing is, as always, rather impressive.

I wish more rock crits were like him. And Paul. Oh yeah, and me!
First, the business.

Got the car back from the mechanic yesterday and, one hundred seventy dollars later, it started right up. In the rain. And the cold. It's never done that before so I'd say the repairs were a success and should assure my delivery to work for the rest of the winter.

Knock on wood.

Y'know, I've never been that great at handling money but I really have improved in recent years. Unfortunately every time I get a little extra cash saved up something like two car repairs in one week pops up and there goes all my dough. I don't really have any shows planned since I've been slacking this winter in the interest of spending more time around the homestead and now I'm feeling the pinch from the lack of extra income.

That reminds me, I've still gotta set up a Tankboy Holiday Spectacular this year. I wonder if I'll get around to it before the holidays are over!

So what's the general lesson we everyone should learn from my example and lack of funding at this time?

Buy plastics. Also, get into computer programming now, while it's still hot.

Yeah, that’s the ticket…

And now, the puh-leasure.


DJs Tankboy
Rudy Tuesday
want to fill you with holiday spirit,
and we promise we'll call when we say we will
because we ARE just that into you.

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday November 30, 2004
Free PBR from 8-9pm
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

Features of the week:
We guarantee we'll play something off these new or unreleased albums!

Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
Bright Eyes - Digital Ash In A Digital Urn
Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake It's Morning

Dear Leader - All I Ever Wanted Was Tonight
The Detroit Cobras - Baby
M83 - Before The Dawn Heals Us
Manda And The Marbles - Angels With Dirty Faces
Mercury Rev - The Secret Migration
Nirvana - With The Lights Out
Scarling - Sweet Heart Dealer
Stars - Set Yourself On Fire
Trail Of Dead - Worlds Apart

Other people may just not be into you,
but we sure are!

Every Tuesday.
Only at Ten56.

Monday, November 29, 2004

If I'm scared, you should be too!

Car problems scare me. Especially when I spend $250 putting a new starter into a car I don’t own only to have the car go kerplunk on me again this morning. They scare me even more when my job is a twenty-eight mile drive from my house and public transportation doesn’t service the area I work in…so that sucks. So my brother’s car is back in the shop and I hope I have enough dough to keep it running, so I would say it’s fair to say I’m a tad scared by the situation.

So, to return the favor and make sure you, dear reader, are scared as well, I present you with this picture of three of my friends dressed up as the Golden Girls this past Halloween:


Bonus Points: Can you guess which Chicago rock and/or roller is hidden in this photo. Double scary!

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Ho hum.

Over halfway through my mini-vacation afforded to me by the Thanksgiving holiday and I'm feeling pretty mellow. It started off badly, what with Chicago getting blasted by a snowstorm on the busiest travel day of the year. Thank god they closed the office early because it took me almost four hours to get home. Obviously this also affected the evening's festivities and the busiest bar night of the year was decidedly less busy. Those hardy souls that showed still had fun, but it wasn't quite the swirling sweaty masses I had been hoping for. Oh well, there's always the Sweet Alice anniversary party next month to make up for that.

Turkey Day itself was great and I realized it was probably my favorite holiday since, at least with my family, all the day means is a chance to spend quality time with your family. There's no Thanksgiving cards or presents, no Turkey Post to erect, no real consumer connection with the day. It's just a day to be thankful we still have each other and on a deeper level this simple thanks really resonated with me.

Since then it's been lazing around the house, going out to dinner with friends, finishing up season seven of Buffy and, last night, having Betty mistake my hand for a steak sandwich when I tried to pull her out from under the bed in the middle of the night. So, except for that last point, it's been a rather relaxing past few days.


Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Don't you...forget about me...

That's right.
Me. Rudy. You. InnJoy. Rock and/or Rolling. Dancing. Sweating.
Oh my goodness, I almost forgot!

Two of the four ladies I live with...
keeping the homestead all warmed up for me!


As promised, a virtual cornucopia of virtual photography!

Here is Photogal with her friends Mary and Bill.
Okay, Mary and Bill are my friends too, I can admit it.
Believe it or not, that's Bill's happy face!

Why, hello lovely ladies!

My friends in action. Go Josh, go!

My firends post-action.

The thing about this photo is that I think those people are actually trying to look
distinguished instead of what they actually are...
a bunch of closteted New Kids on the Block fans!

Ah, Friday's birthday boy and his lovely wife.
All together now...."Awwwwww!"
This was before Lydia found out Dave was
dragging she and the rest of the party to Underbar...

Here's Photogal wrangling a horse.

Whoa boy, whoa!

That's more like it.

My Marlboro Man impression.
Not very manly at all!

Ah, so that's where a certain Chicago rock band nicked their name!

Whew, that's a lot of Photos!

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I like Bowie better, but this makes more sense...

lou reed
You're Lou Reed.

God, you are cool, can I touch you so the magic will rub off?

You are perceptive, witty, and badass. You wear cool shades, even at night, and probably wear black more than most people. You don't give a fuck what other people think, but you are also very sensitive in the way that you pick up on things that others don't. Sometimes you come off as an asshole, but that's what makes you
cool. You are a poet, and you embody New York City. You will still be hip when you are old, and artists love you.

Which rad old school 70's glam icon are you?

Oh, how am I enjoying that new Nirvana set, you ask?

It's fan-fucking-tabulous. Seriously. Awesome. God do I wish Cobain had just pulled through...
Procrastination is so rock, don’t you agree?

Okay, maybe it’s not, but if it were I’d be the King of Rock™ for sure. I’m still working on getting those pictures I mentioned yesterdayup, so maybe tonight...or maybe I’ll do it when I get in from DJing.

Oh, you ask, Tankboy is DJing? On a Tuesday? Wherever could this be occurring at?

Har de har mo’ fro’...Rudy and I will be spinning at Ten56 as per usual. As an added bonus though if you miss us tonight, we’ll be at InnJoy tomorrow. Yay! A double dose of killer tunes for you this week!

As usual, we will be spinning fun music as well as newer tunes referenced here.

Monday, November 22, 2004

So that’s what anticipation feels like! I’d forgotten!

Tomorrow the Nirvana box-set comes out and boy-oh-boy am I psyched. When it comes to new music I usually get to hear pretty much whatever I want long before it’s released to the public since I’ve been reviewing music and such for, jeez, going on two decades now. Because of this, the magical allure Tuesdays – the day all new music is released – waned for me quite a while ago.

I purposely have avoided any and all contact with the Nirvana box-set though. Since they were a really important band to me and I wanted to enjoy the set in the best of old school mindsets. I’m glad I made that decision as I think it’ll make tomorrow’s listening experience all the sweeter.

As for other new music, here’s what been rocking my car stereo, my iPod and the sound system at Ten56:

Bloc Party – Silent Alarm
Bright Eyes – Digital Ash In A Digital Urn
Bright Eyes – I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning
Dear Leader – All I Ever Wanted Was Tonight
Gewn Stefani – Love, Angel, Music, Baby

I highly recommend all of the above, except for the Gwen Stefani disc. It has a few good songs, but most of it is complete crap…a real huuuuge fucking misstep if you ask me. As if that’s not enough to warn you away from it, I see Rob Sheffield gave it four stars over at Rolling Stone, so that should pretty much be rock-solid proof the album sucks.
I was the horse whisperer.

Okay, maybe I wasn't, but I did spend some time with two horsies yesterday. Not that I really have time to go into it this morning, but the weekend as a whole was pretty action-packed compared to weekends over the last few months. I have lots of pictures, so maybe I'll post a time-line when I get home tonight.

As it stands, I now need to leave home so I can get a good work-out in before strapping myself in at the office.

Hey, it's only a three day work week! And I'm DJing with Rudy both Tuesday and Wednesday!

Oh man, fun fun fun!

Yow, look at the time...I gotta go now...

Friday, November 19, 2004

All up in your face and such.

Have a happy weekend!

Isn't my nephew awesome?
Things to do this weekend:
  • Celebrate Dave Suh's birthday.
  • Kick ass at bowling...or drinking...or both!
  • See Rudy play an acoustic set on Saturday at The Pontiac.
  • Then try to figure out how to catch Chin Up Chin Up and still get back to The Pontiac in time to see Vince and Milk At Midnight.
  • Also on Saturday, don't forget to wish Lauren and Dawn a happy birthday and try not to piss either one of with my big mouth for at least one night.
  • Take out the garbage before Photogal tells me to, thus impressing her with my becoming a "self-starter."
  • See The Incredibles before they release it on DVD.
  • Watch Dawn Of The Dead again.
  • Trick Photogal into watching Dawn Of The Dead by telling her it's a bootleg copy of Shaun Of The Dead. I'm evil! Yeah yeah!
  • Finsh reading the new Economist on Sunday rather than dragging it out until next Thursday. Also, knock out another chunk of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrel so I can stop carrying that damn book around. Also, I want to start that D.F.W. science book already!
  • Stop provrastinating in general. (Okay, that's bullshit and will never happen...but I can try to improve can't I?)
  • Get a hair cut? Naw...
  • Prepare DJ sets for Tuesday at Ten56 and Wednesday at InnJoy and prepare hangover remedy for Thursday before I head out to my mom's.
  • Related to the above: Prepare hangover rememdy for Photogal as well since Wednesday will probably be a late one and I'm handcuffing her to me to force her out amongst the wolves, I mean, my friends.)
  • Solve world hunger, promote world peace, return phone calls to Bono, the Pope and the Son of Svengoolie. VIPs all!

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Finally, a remake worth seeing.

I finished watching Dawn Of The Dead last night. While I'm still on the fence as to whether zombies should be able to move quickly et al the new breed launched in 28 Days Later or if they should just shuffle about as they originally did in Night Of the Living Dead, I can put that argument aside for this flick becaue it was just one hell of a well done spooky movie. Lots of blood and gore, just the rigtht amount of humor, characters you could really dig and the ultimate in bleak endings all worked together to do George Romero proud. Hell, I'll even go so far as to say I think I like the new version better than the original!

Night Of the Living Dead is still tops all around due to it's groundbreaking and realistically toned treatment of zombie horror, as well as it's nifty underlying social commentary, but I'm slowly seeing the light in regards to the latest string of "zombie innovation." Nazz.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

A series of completely unrelated topics.

I’m feeling particularly fertile this morning, so let’s hop around a bit.


The top five stupidest things I’ve ever uttered during a date:

1. I’d better kiss you now so you don’t think I’m gay.
2. You’re a virgin? You’re kidding, right?
3. No, I can’t come over later, I have to get up early tomorrow.
4. Just because I was kissing her doesn’t mean we’re here together. Let’s go.
5. Do you want to grab some dinner with my ex on the way home?

For the record, I’ve only been on one actual official date in my entire life, and that’s where line number one came from. The other ones were spoken during a period of “hanging out” amongst a crowd of mutual friends.

I want to marry Kim Deal.

Seriously. Photogal was all like, “You think she’s hot? She’s kinda homely.”

I said, “Listen to her voice and look at her smile. Kim Deal is the perfect rock and roll girl.”


Yesterday (well, the day at least) sucked.

What happens when I get motivated enough to get up really early and get to the gym really early because I have to get to work really early so I can go see The Pixies who are playing really early that night?

The car I’m driving is guaranteed to break down. And then I’m guaranteed to get dicked around by not one, not two, but three auto repair shops.

Oh yeah, and then I’ll have problems working from home because my ancient computer can’t always process the Lotus e-mail site for work. On top of that, in the midst of all the running from one car place to another, I spilled water all down the crotch of my pants. I am so fucking suave.

Blogga please.

First of all, since there were 4,500 people at the Pixies show last night I really didn’t expect to run into anyone I know. As it turned out I couldn’t take more than a few steps without running into someone I knew. I even saw this guy, who I’ve never met before and only really discovered through reading someone else’s blog.

Wild. It's weird when cyber-stuff bumps into the ReaLife™.

What was even weirder is that through his blog you’d think he’s some crazy party dude, but in the midst of a billion people he looked just like another young kid, slightly confused and searching for his friends. It was kind of touching. It reminded me of when I was younger too.

A’shearin’ we will go?

Okay, the hair is getting a bit too long and proved rather unwieldy as it puffed up and gathered sweat during last night’s show. Maybe it’s time to get it cut for the holidays. All hands up everyone who agrees.

Mom, you can’t vote since I already know how you feel about it, so put your hand down.

He's just not into you.

Okay, this book has infiltrated its way into the (I thought) intelligent cirlce of rock and/or roll females I know. The lunacy must stop! So, since girls can't seem to figure it out for themselves, let me save you a whole bunch of time and money by breaking down the cetral truth that probably isn't even in the stupid book.

If you have to ask, then he's just not into you. Move on.

See? that was easy!

Ethan Hawke looks like a monkey.

That was the first thing Photogal said when watching Before Sunset the other night. Aside from that, the movie is that rare sequel that is actually better than the original. Or maybe I think that because I’ve aged at the same rate as the characters in the movie so I’m better able to relate to them now.

Also, the ending absolutely rocked. Perfect.

Hmm…that’s seems a good not to end today’s entry on…perfect.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Wait a minute, this is the Planet of Sound!

So let’s flashback quite a few years to Tankboy’s high school days when boys wearing earrings were called various negative epithets and bands that were only played on MTV at midnight on a Sunday night were known as “college rock.” It was this magical time, also known as the late ‘80s, that I fell in love with The Pixies. I didn’t mean to.

Actually, the first time I saw them live they were opening for the much more popular (at the time) Love and Rockets. I had heard they were quite the band so I made sure to get to the show early to catch their set, only to fall asleep about half-way through. The only thing that woke me up was on of David Lovering’s cymbals crashing to the floor and almost braining Kim Deal. I remember thinking the drum riser was ridiculously high and the stands had to be twelve to fifteen feet tall. Obviously this couldn’t have been the case, but at the time they sounded that massive to me so I reasoned they must be giants among the rest of men.

So why did hell I fall asleep if they were so awesome?

Well, massive waves of sound aside, the band was pretty boring and didn’t seem too pleased to be there. Who knows, maybe they got into some huge fight just before the show or something. Deep down, something in their music touched me though since I went right out the very next day and bought every shred of music they had put out up until that point.

So tonight I finally get to right past wrongs and I’ll finally get to see the band again. This time I promise I won’t fall asleep. I admit that I was more excited to be seeing them when I bought the tickets months ago since the build-up has kind of died down since it seems like the band has played everywhere in the world EXCEPT Chicago by this point. Nonetheless, after seeing the set-lists they’ve been playing I think it’s safe to say I’ll leave the show satisfied.

Hell, I’m so confident it’ll be awesome that I pre-bought the live CD of tonight’s show that they will be selling! Maybe I’ll spin a track or two at Ten56 when I get there after the show to take over DJing from the (newly anointed) Rudy Tuesday.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Wherein our hero recounts many glorious adventures
and shews his extreme prowess at overcoming daunting situations.

Okay, no daunting situations, really, I just wanted to include heading that seemed action-packed since my weekend was so tame. Friday I did nada and Saturday was spent watching movies and tidying up the house in expectation of a visit from some of our good friends from Minneapolis. We did couple-type things in the evening and had a lovely time Afterwards I stopped by the Pontiac for a spell to catch The Memories and hang out with Rudy for a bit. The show ran late so I got home a little later than I had planned which, of course, launched the -

[deleted by author]

Okay, at this point the post took a decidedly less humorous turn. It also took a turn into dangerous territory that would have insured a certain young lady I live with would have probably kicked my ass. And I’m not talking about Betty the Beagle.

Sometimes a relationship is hard work. Sometimes the work involved is even more difficult if that relationship includes me as one f the two parties. For instance our friends who came in from out-of-town asked that age-old “so when’re you gonna finally get married” question and I had my stock response, “You’d have to be crazy to marry me and I haven’t met anyone that crazy yet.”

Okay, you know what? That’s just too much deep thought on a Monday morning. Here’s all you need to really know about Photogal: She’s the kind of person who will rent the Olsen Twins’ New York Minute for me because she knows (even though I’ve never said so) that I secretly wanted to see it but would never be able to commit the embarrassing act of actually renting it.

Now that’s pretty perfect, if you ask me.

EDITOR'S NOTE: This marks the first appearance of the Olsen Twins EVER on this site and we blame it on Mr. Tankboy's reading too many NYC-based blogs. We apologize. We tried to get him to post a picture of O.D.B. instead to mark the man's passing but Tankboy just said, 'Fuck you, I wanna pic of the Twins so I've got somwthing to look at if I'm bored at work, okay motherfucker?"

We couldn't help but comply with the author's original intent and wishes.

Friday, November 12, 2004

My nipple is killing me.

Seriously. Last week, Lucy the Wonderdog tried to jump into my arm and one of her claws caught me directly on the middle of my nipple and then caught itself on my nipple ring and must’ve torn up the inside of my nipple a touch because it’s been really sensitive – and not in a good way all week. Can I say nipple one more time?


There, that should be a good way to get your weekend started off right, no? Another way would be to help me get that free iPod I was talking about yesterday. Even another would be to let me know of anything cool I can bring my out of town friend to see tomorrow since I’m drawing a blank…


...shortly after I got into work Wednesday morning Richard Simmons came into my office. After first making sure I wasn't hallucinating and that he, in fact, was physically there, I reflected back upon why I sometimes really love my job. Sometimes it's the little surprises that really make it worth it.

For the record, he was really, really nice and super energetic. I had previously met him at some event in some mall that my mom took me too about twenty years ago and he actually looked almost exactly the same!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

The Futureheads.

I saw The Futureheads last night, and whilst I don’t feel the need to follow them across the country and bear their collective babies like some people, I was mighty impressed. As an added bonus I got to see quite a few old friends I don’t run into that often. As another added bonus, it was an early show so I was home at a decent hour, though avoiding the usual “boozin’ it up” ‘tude that usually goes hand in hand with my show attendance certainly helped in that field as well.

Anyway, for a full accounting, please direct your browser over to the Lost In Guyville write-up located right here.

Clicky clicky now!
Help me get a free iPOD!

Okay, so I've fallen under the sway of this thing since I've heard quite a few first-hand accounts this is on the up-and-up. Also, if I had another iPod, I could just bring those to DJ with and stop killing my shoulder with a fifty pound bike messenger bag crammed full of books of CDs.

Anyway, all you have to do is go to this link, fill out their little survey (feel free to click "no" on all the questions since it doesn't affect the offer at all) and then agree to sample one of their offers. I signed up for the Blockbuster NetFlix-type deal and will just cancel my memeberdhip at the end of the two-week trial. If I can just get five folks to do this i get a free iPod...and then You are on your way to owning your own FREE iPod! Yowze.

So here's my link to get you started.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

High times of hilarity.

So Saturday, Photogal and I go to this Polish dance club to meet up with some of her friends. Supposedly her friends dig this place because the ratio of men to women leans heavily in the women’s favor. Well, not the night we were there. Hell, I even got my ass grabbed!

(Don’t get too excited, I merely take that as proof that the lighting was dim and the young lady doing the grabbing must’ve been three sheets at the time.)

So yeah, it was wild. And they played that Alice Deejay song that they were playing every five minutes the last time I was in Poland...FIVE YEARS AGO! Let’s just say the music wasn’t exactly progressive. Oh, and guy with the severely gelled spikes and sunglasses dancing with yourself on top of that pillar and checking yourself out in the mirror? You look fabulous. Really.

The rest of the night was actually kind of mundane and grown up until the point I found myself stranded waiting for a cab in the middle of – to cabs anyway – nowhere trying to avoid some guy selling socks in the middle of the street at 3:30 in the morning. Two long bus rides, interrupted by one block of walking two girls to their street (who apparently didn’t really need an escort since one of ‘em had a gun in her purse so I’m not sure why they drafted me to walk them one block down North in the first place) I finally made it home. It was really late. I felt like a total ass for getting in that late.

There are nights you feel all rock and/or roll when you’re getting in just before sunrise and there are nights you just feel like an idiot…this was definitely an example of the latter.

So there’s my Saturday. Upon reflection it was a lot less exciting than I had originally thought. Let’s fix that

High times of hilarity part deux, the imaginary years.

So Saturday, Photogal and I went skydiving and landed in the middle of this dance floor at this Polish club where Jay-Z and Beyonce were doing this impromptu performance thingie. Well, me and Beyonce started to really get it on and I guess Hova was getting a little nervous so he called in his swat team of security guys, comprised solely of seven-plus foot Albanians pumped full of ‘roid muscle. I quickly dispatched the threat utilizing my Bohemian Death Stare™ (actual death not included) and took off with Photogal after telling Beyonce I was Coke, not Pepsi, kind of guy.


Okay, I’m lying.

Obviously the second tale is far too farfetched to be true. There is no such thing as a Bohemian Death Stare™. You got me.