:D

I used to hate emoticons. Despised them. Railed against them. Avoided them at all costs. But over the past few years they began to creep into my emails and texts. I realized that many folks I had professional relationships with utilized them to try and offset writing that came across as, um, angry. It was a passive-aggressive thing and it irked me, but I realized that if I insisted on not using emoticons many of my own writing might be misinterpreted.

"But you're a writer. If you're misinterpreted isn't that a fault of your writing?"

Well, yes. Unless people aren't reading what you write. When I compose emails, and even texts, I try and be very precise and sometimes that means painting nuance into the message. But many folks don't read everything you write and many don't make it past the first sentence or two, so in order to offset behavior I couldn't dictate I began to speak in the patois of the professional class: short emails with emoticons.

My current gigs—9-to-5 and side—are populated by close readers but I still throw emoticons into my writing. (And let's not even get into the emoji discussion.) In my opinion they've just become part of our shared language in electronic writing. I use them earnestly and honestly: when I put a smiley face at the end of a sentence it's not passive-aggressive, it just means I'm smiling as I write it and mean well.

What has this tough me? Once I said I would "never" use emoticons and now I do and don't feel badly about it. The overall lesson is to not dictate your own future behavior with any air of finality* because opinions change as we grow. Thus endeth the Mr. Rogers lesson for today.

*Except for my "no high-fives" rule. That one's sticking. Maybe.