Is it depression if you brought the misery onto yourself?
Maybe? I dunno.
What I do know is that I’ve been deeply sad for quite a while. I enjoy people’s company, and there are certainly individuals that bring me joy when we’re together, but it’s finally settled in that a little over a year ago I totally blew up my life and I’m still not sure how to recover.
It doesn’t help that 2018 brought me an epic run of bad luck that had nothing to do with my divorce, but as I’ve said before, perhaps I had outlived my charmed existence and karma came back at me with a vengeance.
I’m a better person for it now. But I’m also a much sadder person. I still try to maintain my signature blend of pragmatism and optimism, but I admit it’s gotten harder.
Don’t get me wrong—there are many good things in my life. My friends and my job are both great. When Pickle the Kitten meets me at the door every time I come home it truly brings me joy. My family is awesome. In the past year I’ve met a LOT of new and amazing people as well, and it’s helped me break my usual rhythm of going to the same places and doing the same things. I view all of these as positives.
Oh Jesus, I just re-read that first sentence and realized I sound just like Rob from High Fidelity. I guess some things never change. I’m leaving it in though.
I stole the title of this post from her blog, because she’s right. This is temporary, and she’s living proof of that. I need to follow her example, let go of the past, and embrace the good things to come in my future. Because good things do come.
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