Every once in a while I feel like I should be more in it, y’know. For decades my life was pretty non-stop, keeping me kinda in the “center” of a lot of different worlds/lives.
If the pandemic hadn't happened would I still be living that kind of life? It seems exhausting to me now, but one of the reasons I was able to keep up that pace is because I never paused. I always, relentlessly, moved forward and outward. And, between you and me, I suspect that sustained pace might have killed me had I not pulled back so drastically. Or, more accurately, had I not had the unavoidable opening to pull back so drastically.
The last few years have been more focused on figuring out where I can still make a difference or influence folks, while making plenty of room for the younger, newer voices to take prominence. I have a ton to share but it's no longer my "job" to try and direct discourse at all levels like I once endeavored to do.
And it's not lost on me that even my most mellow states of existence still can feel like sitting next to jet engine to some. It's all relative, y'know?
So, while very once in a while I feel like I should be more in it, I know that the answer to that feeling is a definitive "no." And that's a-OK.
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