Here's how to get a free ride in Chicago this Saturday (especially if you're "celebrating" St. Patrick's weekend).

Photo via Uber

Usually publicity stunts seem forced and awkward—often painfully fucking ridiculous—but the match-up of Uber and Pedialyte offering free uberPOOL rides to Chicagoans over the St. Patrick's weekend is a frighteningly natural fit.

I certainly don't want you driving once you're done celebrating what appears to be Chicago's favorite holiday, and god knows you'll need to rehydrate the next morning. The only thing that would make this an even stronger deal would be if an IV clinic got into the act.

The promotion kicks of Saturday at 8 a.m.—because so many of you will probably already be stumbling drunk by then—and end at 11 p.m. that evening. And the ceiling on the ride is $30; if you travel further than that you'll have to pay beyond that so if you live in the suburbs maybe you should just crash on a friends couch.

 Here's how it'll work:

• Open your Uber app. For many this may be the most difficult thing about the whole promotion. Concentrate. Nope, not that app. Not that one. Yes! That's the Uber app!
• Enter promo code GOLDCHI in the app. Close one eye if you need to focus.
• Enter where you're going and enter 1 or 2 seats (parties of 3 or more aren't eligible).
• Wait for your ride, be nice to your driver when they arrive. Don't puke in their car. Tip when exiting.

It's that simple! But the fun doesn't stop there. Oh no it doesn't.

On Sunday you can enter the promo code GREENCHI between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. into the app to request delivery of what they're calling a Fuel Pack, but is actually (obviously) a hangover kit. It'll cost you $5 and includes a Pedialyte powder pack, water bottle, a Stan’s Donut Green River Glazed donut (keeping it local!), an eye mask and sunglasses in case you need to venture outdoors.

Though why in god's name would you do that?