Please bear with me as I talk hair.

Me, the first time I grew my hair long. My dad was not pleased, but got used to it.

Please don't take this as a post steeped in vanity, even though its primary subject regards the stuff that grows out of the top of my head. But I am truly struggling with a serious question!

Should I cut my hair short again?

I didn't plan on growing it out long again. It just sort of happened. In college my hair reached down to my chest—it was the early '90s, so not that weird—and it just became so much of my identity that it took me years and years to finally cut it. I was worried that doing so would cost me countless cred points and I'd suddenly turn back into the dork I was in my adolescence.

This, of course, is absolutely idiotic. But 20-somethings aren't always the clearest thinkers when it comes to self identity.

So here I am 20 years later facing the same quandary, though not nearly as fraught. I like having long hair. But my hair is thick, and curly, and when it grows it sort of stops at the shoulders and grows outward for a long period of time until it hits that critical length and suddenly drapes down my back. And I don't think I have the patience for that this time around, nor do I seriously think I'll look better that way. At the same time, and yes, this is idiotic too, there is always a small whisper related to Samson that crops up every time I seriously consider the shears. This is clearly based in insecurity.

See? Not so bad short, right?

I'm also searching for a job right now, and while with some companies long hair on a creative might be considered a plus, I'm also aware that not everyone finds it aesthetically pleasing, so it could knock me out of the running for a gig I might actually love, and be a perfect fit with. It's just the way of the world.

At the same time It's festival season! And I will admit there's a certain shallow part of me that likes to look the rock and/or roll part at festivals. Again, idiotic, but if we're being honest, I may as well disclose that. Plus, I'd have to go back and update all my dating profile photos though that might work out in my favor. Most of the women that respond seem to love the hair. But I'm betting there are more that probably prefer their dudes and little less shaggy and a little more groomed. So that's a toss up as well.

I guess I could always go short and then grow it out again, right? But what if I cut it off and suddenly start balding and realize that I can't go back again?! I did notice a thinning spot on the top of my head that suddenly appeared, but since I cut out booze and started working on again adopting a healthier lifestyle that seems to be filling in again, so I'm guessing it was probably more a result of stress and a bad diet than anything else.*

I know this is all incredibly self-indulgent, and if you're still here I truly appreciate your putting up with it. As I said at the outset, this isn't about vanity: I'm well aware I look pretty decent with short hair. It's just that a decision like this really does dredge up a whole torrent of insecurities I should have overcome, you know, years ago. But do we ever outgrow basic insecurities? I'm not so certain we do. We deal with them, and handle them, and move on; but they'll always crop back up at times we consider radical change.

Anyway, what do you think?**

KINDA UPDATE: I actually wrote this draft over last weekend, and then ran an Instagram poll on the question to get feedback from my friends a few days later. The result? 87% said to chop it all off versus 13% who said to keep it. At least now I know what most folks think! Of course, once it ended I found myself in the midst of a particularly good hair day so...


*Since I started working out regularly again, my stress levels have dropped through the floor. Heck, in the last couple of weeks my resting pulse has dropped 17 beats-per-minute! And I feel great. I mentioned it before, but the human body is truly amazing once you start giving it the good stuff it wants!

**With the understanding that, by the time you read this, there's a good chance I've gone and gotten myself shorn anyway.