Rating the dating apps.

I know, you're like, "Dude, I'm surprised ANYONE swipes right on you!"

After a few months of being "actively" single, and going through a number of different dating apps, I feel like I have some key learnings* to share with anyone else also navigating these turbulent waters. I've only used a handful, but they're varied enough that, despite most people's assumptions to the contrary, they each do have their own specific flavor.

So here are my experiences using a few of the more popular apps, though I'm well aware that if you're not me, your experiences may be wildly different. The times they are a'changing, so I've been open to profiles that are looking for everything from traditional LTRs to non-monogamy to existing open relationships to just about whatever.** My only real app turn-offs are a) no bio at all or b) profiles inundated with group photos so you have no idea who the poster is. What the heck?!

It should also be noted that I purposely have a kinda goofy photo as my first shot in most of my profiles—included in this post—since I reckon that immediately weeds out the people that probably wouldn't "get" me in the first place. So that may have an effect on people swiping right / hitting "like." C'est la vie!

Tinder: The OG of dating apps. I know it began as a hook-up app but those days are long behind it. I've had reasonable luck getting a couple of dates through Tinder, but nothing that really lasted all that long. If you're a woman, I understand the number of dudes swiping right on you can be overwhelming, but if you're a dude it's totally manageable. I dunno, my personal jury is still out on this one, but it is one of the easiest to use.

Bumble: Don't call them "the other Tinder." The big difference here is that when you match with someone, they have to start the conversation. I like that since it puts the power in the hands of the other person to get things rolling, but it also means that when you match with someone, if they chicken out, there's not much you can do about it. And if the 24-hour window in which they can chat starts to close, Bumble will bug you to pay money to extend the window. No thanks. I see a lot of the same women on Tinder also on Bumble, but the Bumble dates I've gotten have been more "quality," and even if things haven't worked out romantically, I still chat with many of the folks I've matched with on Bumble. I dig it.

Zoosk: The UX on this app ain't great, and responses are few and far between. From what I can tell, this is the preferred app of suburban single moms, and there is zero wrong with that. However, I don't own a car, so that's not really my scene. Also, the distance parameters constantly go out of whack, so it keeps trying to match me with people who live 50-75 miles away! But if you live in the 'burbs, by all means, this may be the app for you! Me? I'm deleting it.

CasualX: I tried this out based on a Mashable recommendation a few months ago. It is 100% a hook-up app, and it also has a terrible UX, and I'm still not sure exactly how it's supposed to work. And a pure hook-up really isn't my thing anyway. There are also already existing communities out there much better at supporting this approach, so I would skip this app and try those out if that's your thing. For me, CasualX is a full on delete.

Match: If Tinder is the OG of dating apps, Match is the OG of online dating. I only recently started trying it out. Since it's populated primarily with folks looking for long term relationships, I avoided Match for a while, but decided to stick my toe back into its waters. (I first had a Match profile in, what, 2001 or 2001 during a period Photogal and I had broken up?) The response rate still isn't great, but it's a pretty mellow experience overall if you're in no rush (and I am in no rush).

Also, I've also found another approach that works: introduce yourself to someone when you're out at a bar or show [gasp!]. I've had some luck with that as well. Just don't be intrusive, and be prepared to beat a polite and hasty retreat if the person you're talking to obviously isn't into it. It's not that hard to pick up on (though it appears there's an epidemic of men, in particular, who either can't or choose not to see that).

So what am I missing? Should I be trying something else out? And what have been your own experiences with dating apps?


*Sorry, I couldn't resist using that marketing buzzword. It's funny!

**Almost whatever. When friends or ex co-workers (or just plain exes) pop up in my feed I swipe left out of courtesy, and to avoid potentially embarrassing situations. Well, except for one, but that's only because I knew she'd find the humor in it, and she did.