Fiction or Reality?

So the following appeared in last week's The Onion and I can't tell if it's so disturbing because it's so darkly funny or because it reads way to closely to almost every other report spit out regarding Dubya's latest attempts at speechmaking on this subject.

Saddam Enrages Bush With Full Compliance
WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush expressed frustration and anger Monday over a U.N. report stating that Iraqi president Saddam Hussein is now fully complying with weapons inspections. "Enough is enough," a determined Bush told reporters. "We are not fooled by Saddam's devious attempts to sway world opinion by doing everything the U.N. asked him to do. We will not be intimidated into backing down and, if we have any say in the matter, neither will Saddam." Bush added that any further Iraqi attempt to meet the demands of the U.N. or U.S. will be regarded as "an act of war."

See? Funny! Ha ha! But also incredibly spooky in the way in which it mirrors real life Dubya's bull-headedness on this subject. Yes, Saddam tried to kill his daddy and that's totally uncool. I'll even go so far as to say Saddam really should be taken out in some way because the guy is a monster. I mean if you've read even a minute number of the accounts of folks that have escaped his country it's not too hard to come to the conclusion that a) this freak makes the Mad Hatter look like Tinkerbell and b) if he had his chance he would take us all out since he sees his divine destiny to be leader of the free world.

So if that's the case why waste my breath saying Dubya's doing the wrong thing? Because Dubya's doing the wrong thing. It's one thing to remove a madman from power with a whole bunch of other nations on our side but it's a whole 'nother ballgame to go in -- basically by ourselves -- and start a "preemptive war" against Saddam when the majority of the free world opposes such a measure. We would basically be saying, "We here in the U.S. of A. really like all of you and will respect your time to play in the sandbox but when it comes time for grown-up decisions you can either fall in line for nap-time or shut the fuck up."

I mean this moment of U.S. of A. world dominance is fleeting and we're not always going to be at the top of the heap so it makes better sense to use this time to nudge world events along a course that would benefit us when we are closer to sharing power with other emerging super-powers (like China, India and the European Union) instead of taking the track that will alienate everyone in the world besides Great Britain and Spain.

In addition what about other nut-cases like Robert Mugabe and Kim Jong Il? One allows groups to rampage across the plains slaughtering all kinds of innocent people while he forcibly steals land and the other, well, could nuke anywhere in the U.S. of A. if he decides to! Now if these are just two examples amidst a veritable legion of psychotic baddies now can Dubya tell me with a straight face that Saddam is the biggest threat facing the free world today?

I think David Cross said it best by predicting that, "George W. Bush will go down in history as the worst President...ever."

On a lighter note...

You can't resist. You've spent your whole life without a Gangsta Name to call your own. You can whip out the flyest most dope rhymes known to Eastern, Westen and Interstellar civilization but when it comes time to turn the creative juice onto yourself and come up with a sick handle for yourself you fail miserably. Every time. This should help you out.

Me? I was dubbed Chewy Tha Hung Daddy...yeah!