List-O-Mania!

Lately the number of lists popping up in music and culture mags has gotten pretty ridiculous. I mean how many times can Q Magazine inform up of the Best Albums...Ever! or have (god save us that this even exists) yet another 100 Most Beautiful Women In Thongs list in Maxim/Stuff/(fill-in-name-of-Neanderthal-mag-here)?

Well, this month Spin dedicates the majority of its page count to lists and further prove that -- as far as main stream mediocre music mags goo -- they have a pretty decent sense of New York based humor. The "advice lists (like Most Influential Albums or Most Important Artists Making Music Right Now) are at a minimum and the goof-factor (Nine Examples Of Practical Advice From Prince Songs and Top Five Things White Rock Stars Should Never Say In An Interview) is pretty damn high. A few are even worthy of a Buddyhead level of humor. Below I have re-printed one of my personal favorites from this month's issue.

Ten Things Believed Only By Stoners

one
The Black Crowe's Amorica is an all-around stellar album.

two
Kyuss was the most important band of the '90s.

three
Velerie Bertinelli is so hot -- and also so lucky.

four
The Clash should have made even more reggae songs.

five
Hendrix's "If 6 Was 9" is not only awesome, but also so true.

nine
Quadrophenia is completely biblical.

seven
The guitars on My Bloody Valentine's Loveless sound like whales having sex -- and those whales are totally high.

eight
The kid from The Streets is like Dylan or Lennon or something.

six
"The Man" is out to stomp on not only our buzz but also our right to download loosely executed songs featuring hand drums.

ten
The Chronic is the best hip-hop album of 2002.

Now that is some fun-fun-funny stuff. Too bad they didn't include more hippie-bashing though.