Instead, I had parents who unleashed me upon whatever I could get my hands on and understand from a very early age. They also taught me that many conflicts in life have an easy way out, but that easy way is usually pretty half-assed and ripe for setting up an even larger future conflict. At least in my experience.
Then again, my experience is based on a being human being that I have learned does not always present predictably to other human beings in a way that feels “normal” to them.
Regardless, I have applied friction to all parts of my life, often choosing the harder road for myself because I know it’s the correct path to take, for me. And don’t get me wrong, I am not claiming this makes me in some way superior to other people who don’t do this since most people I’ve encountered seem to lead simpler, less complicated lives in general. Here “simpler, less complicated” is meant to denote relative states of existence: everyone feels they lead a difficult life because life is, in fact, difficult.
There are many reasons I am the way I am, many of which I have not publicly explored. And I’m still sorting this out in my own head, after mulling over my perceptions and cross referencing them with other people’s perceptions of me, so for me this is just a tiny thread of a larger tapestry I’ve decided to publicly start pulling at to understand better.
In the end I do sometimes ask myself what I have to show for this approach. I know more than most people, but I certainly don’t seem as happy as most people, so why exactly do I bother constantly making things “more difficult” for myself? I honestly don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that for me I don’t think there ever was a different path I could take.
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