Inside my head there’s a woodpecker.

So I’m sitting here, blankly trying to gather my thoughts but finding myself only yawning, and the woodpecker starts up. He must be a relatively new addition to the menagerie of beasties living in my head. Out of nowhere he started tapping, vibrating almost, against my right eardrum. It didn’t hurt. Promise. It was more of a sound sensation than a physical manifestation.

The first person living in my head made himself known when I was three or four. I’d be lying (or is that laying…where’s my style guide?) in bed trying to go to sleep and I’d hear this soft crunch crunch crunch” sound in my ears. At first I couldn’t figure out what it was and it really bothered me. Once I was able to pinpoint the sound’s source though everything was all right. It’s that whole “fear fades in the face of familiarity” thing. The sound was of a man walking along the gravel laid down by some train tracks. He was making this long monotonous journey for the simplest of all reasons: he wanted to produce a soothing sound I could fall asleep to.

I wonder what the woodpecker is supposed to do for me?
__________
Where's Jessica?

Her site disappeared. Her roommate hasn't seen her. It's a web mystery! Could this new millenial web version of "Where's Laura?"¹ capture the fancy of a nation? Only time will tell!

¹Palmer. Duh

That which I will never comprehend.

If you love somebody, why would you ever ask them to give up something that made them utterly and completely happy? I can’t really get into it more than that but that’s the problem I’m grappling with right now.

On a lighter note, last night was great. It was tough saying goodbye to Ten56 (even though we will be spinning at the final party there that’s not open to the public) and even though InnJoy is a lovely room it’ll never be the same. Such is life. My residencies at clubs always last a couple years at a time so I tend to get attached to the rooms but change has always been positive when it comes to new DJ set-ups so I wouldn’t expect this to be any different.

I really wish I had something more profound to discuss to day – and I actually kind of do – but Photogal’s car broke down so I kind of have to hotfoot it and get ready in a hurry so I can drive her to work.

Here, distract yourself with this bit of voyeurism my friend Darcell sent me. Hours of twisted fun.

You knew it was coming...



TONIGHT

DJs Tankboy and Rudy Tuesday
bid Ten56 adieu
with rollicking tunes and endless shots.

Sweet Alice Tuesdays is moving around the corner
and this is your LAST chance to catch the evening
in the dark, smoke-filled, beer-stained environs
we've called home lo these many years.

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday May 17, 2005
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

NO REQUESTS

Trust us...we know what we're doing.

One last Tuesday.
Only at Ten56.
_______________

NEXT WEEK JOIN US IN OUR NEW DIGS:
May 24: InnJoy kick off party
as well as the release party
for the new Gorillaz disc Demon Days
with a hosted bar and free pizza from 9-10pm!

I sincerely apologize.

To anyone that witnessed me "dancing" at the Light FM show last night and was immediately struck blind I am truly sorry. Blame Piper. She made me do it.

Obviously I had a blast. Maybe too good a time. Let's just say my body's glad the "weekend of rock" is over and it has at least a few days to recalibrate itself.

Ba-na-nas.

Last night was out of control. All four bands killed. I'm surprised I'm even up this early. Since when did I consider 2:03pm to be early? Especially when I was home before 2am. I avoided shots but the booze still hit me like a lightweight. Luckily the alcohol chose to take mercy on me and not slam around my brain until AFTER I paid all the bands. Whew! Also, when did Milk At Midnight's fanbase suddenly swell to include a bunch of could-be strippers? Not that I, or any other red-blooded boy in attendance last night, was complaining...

I want Miranda Sound to move to Chicago. Now!

And tonight should be just as bananas at Bottom Lounge. Come out and see me, Photogal, and the rest of the gang!

Wotta weekend!



Friday May 13
at
Subterranean
Tankboy and donewaiting.com present

Rock Star Club
Milk At Midnight (CD Release)
Miranda Sound (CD Release)
The Cells

Doors 8:30
Show 9:00
$8 cover

I have poured blood, sweat and tears into this line-up. No, I kid. Actually excellence comes easily when all the bands are this good. Rock Star Club remains one of the absolute best live acts in the city of Chicago. If you like your rock and/or roll loud, raunchy and emotice without being emo these guys are the real deal. Release their new EP is milk At Midnight and while I could gush over this trio for pages and pages on end suffice it to say that they play the kind of music that most of the Chicago indie scene wishes they could write. Miranda Sound are on tour and have been making their way to Chicago from Columus, OH and they contributed half the material to the first donewaiting.com album released earlier this year. This serves as the Chicago CD release. And, at the risk of repeating myself, these guys are another great live band. Opening are The Cells (yup, a great live band) and while their new CD isn’t out yet expect to hear a bunch of their terrific new material.

Seriously. If you go to rock shows to nod your head and clap half-heartedly for a band that’s too cool for school you should probably just skip this show. Everyone else? I’ll see you there.

Also, Chicagoist has very nice things to say about tonight's show.
__________

Saturday May 14
at
Bottom Lounge

Light FM
Textbook (CD Release)
The Strategy Game
The Assembly

Doors ?
Show 8:00
$8 cover

Okay, I have nothing professionally to do with this show but, on a personal level, it’s a doozy. Josiah of Light FM is up and moving to California (boo!) so this may well be the final show for Light FM as we know and love them. Also on the bill is Textbook and I can’t state just how strongly I love love love their new album. Come see what I’m talking about and buy your own copy. I’ve never seen The Strategy Game but they seem like nice enough fellows. And opening is The Assembly. I noticed that MPShows nicked my description of the band and put it on their web-site so here it is: Dave Suh of Woolworthy and Caviar is leading a new band and they’ve got songs that could urge thousands to jump up and down in unison while thrusting their Bics into the air at Reading Festival.

Here come the little people!

Two old friends I met while in college are coming into town tonight and I’m rather excited to see them. I don’t get to see Jim and Gidget all that much since they’re married, still live in the Bloomington-Normal area, have their hands full with two (awesome) kids, have their hands even more full with two hyper pugs, own a small business and both work pretty much full-time. So the fact they’re coming up to Chicago on a mini-vacation, spurred on by the live appearance of and Gidget’s love for Billy Idol, is a rare opportunity to actually catch up with both of them at the same time.


A typical scene in Jim and Gidget's household.
Usually I only get to see them if I am going through town with a band and Photogal hasn’t seen them in years so I think they’re looking forward to it as well. Okay, I think Gidget is looking forward to Billy Idol’s rock hard abs most of all but I’ll settle for second place.

I also take full credit for introducing the couple that would inevitably get married. Maybe introducing is too strong a word. Back when I was originally supposed to be a junior in college some friends of mine who lived off-campus decided to throw a party but they wanted to enlist my help since I was a) fearless b) knew lots of people c) owned a lot of music with which to provide a pretty cool soundtrack d) had friends that would buy a keg. I agreed to help in exchange for 1/4 of the profits. The deal was struck.

The day of the party I spent the afternoon on a hill (a.k.a. The Big Tit) behind the dorm I used to live in basically approaching every incoming freshman – who looked cool (which in the early ‘90s was pretty easy since most people didn’t look “cool” and Hot Topic didn’t even exist yet) and was preferably female – and inviting them to the evening’s soiree.

One of the girls I invited was Gidget and I’m not sure but I think that most of the people that would later go on to comprise her social circle were there. Jim certainly was since we were ex-roomates and spent A LOT of time together. The party, by the way, was a grand success and I also believe that one of the events that evening (breaking up a fight by literally leaping across furniture and landing on a guy thus proving I was a) much stronger than I looked and b) capable of busting up a fracas without actually having to hurt anyone involved) laid the groundwork for my initial job working the door at The Gallery¹. Most importantly though I think this may have been the evening Jim and Gidget met although they didn’t date until a few years later. I say “think” because one of the guys who had been inviting girls to the party spent a good chunk of time trying to romance Gidget since she was a redhead and “he had a thing for redheads.”

So there you have it. What started off as a simple post about my excitement at reconnecting with some old friends turned into a mini-history lesson all about Tankboy. Go figure.

¹Also known as the freak bar and the only venue in town with good live music or DJs. As a matter of fact my first professional DJ residency outside of parties was there. I also spun the last night they were open and had to take a special trip down from Chicago in order to do so. I also peed in the DJ booth to “mark my territory” (though it could have also just been because I was incredibly drunk) the next night after bartending at the private farewell party (where I gave away every single bottle of booze in the place) the next night.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Being the Very Important Person that I am, I have no time to share any of my genius with you today. Also, after I attempted to let the dogs out this morning¹ I went back to bed and fell back asleep and am therefore very short on time. I'm sticking with the Very Important Person angle though.


¹It was raining. They won't go out in the rain. To be fair there was thunder and lightening involved so I didn't blame them one whit.

Giving in to a guilty pleasure.


Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?
Of course I am. Who else would I be?

(Don't say Screech. Please.)

Bent neck syndrome.

I just woke up on the couch and had no idea where I was. I must've fallen asleep after 24. Damn.

So in my half-awake state I was thinking how the posts haven't been as wackily content-filled as they have been in the past. I blame this on my no longer wild-and-crazy-swinging-single-guy lifestyle. Face it. Life is more fulfilling when you're all comfy but it seems to get a lot less interesting. At least on the surface.

That's no excuse though.

So I could either pull the plug on this or I could attack this with a renewed sense of purpose and realize that deeper mining of the interior should unearth interesting stuff regardless of how "comfy" my exterior life has become. Not to mention that quitting blogging is so 2004. I don't wanna look like no lemming or nuttin'.

Anyway. Just a thought. I'll probably read this in the morning and wonder when I wrote this. Right brain, meet the left brain. Left brain, right.

Pleased to meet you.

UPDATE: Now that I'm more awake and capable of functioning I've gone through my last few weeks of posts and realized that they haven't been half-bad. Sometimes I'm my own worst critic. Okay, I'm always my own worst critic. Apparently I'm even more critical when half asleep.
__________
Textbook = Superchunk + Uncle Tupelo

Thus begins the "week of rock" that will culminate in the Rock Star Club, Milk At Midnight, Miranda Sound, Cells show at SubT on Friday and the Light FM, Textbook, The Assembly show at Bottom Lounge on Saturday. Tonight Rudy and I spin the usual sounds at Ten56. As a super special awesome added bonus we will also be playing the new Textbook disc The Great Salt Creek in its entirety in advance of their album release show this weekend so make sure you get there early. Also, if you get there early you can get tickets from either Rudy or I for free PBR and well drinks. Yum!

Not enough? How about songs off new albums from Oasis, Gorillaz, The Redwalls, Sons & Daughters and Stephen Malkmus? Still not enough? How about the fact that there are only a limited amount of Tuesdays left at Ten56 and you don't want to miss a single one?

Okay, back to bed. I think I'm starting to wake up and that'd be no good.

What are the symptoms of Lyme disease?

I’m slightly achy and tired and a little more off-balance than usual when I try to walk. Odd. Aside from that, camping was a blast. While driving around Prairie du Chien (pop. 6000 or so) Saturday afternoon we learned two important things: “outdoor outfitter” is actually just a fancy way for saying “store that sells lots of camouflage and guns” and shopping at WalMart is frightening since there is just something about the store that makes you want to buy things you just don’t need.

Point two about Prairie du Chien would be that in a town of 6018, at last count, you tend to draw a lot of stares wherever you go especially when you and Photogal "are obviously not from around these parts." I thought it was fun but I think it creeped Photogal out a little. Especially when some young blonde guy was obviously following us around the outdoor outfitter store to get a better look at Photogal. For my own part I noticed I kept getting checked out by baby-mamas. Did I mention they seem to start having babies right after they hit puberty? Must be all that clean country air and the absolute absence of anything else to distract them.

Also, I found a Joe Meek compilation in some little consignment shop for a buck. A buck!

Gone fishin'.

Literally. It's been a loooong but rewarding week at work where I really got a lot accomplished so I'm gettin' the heck out of Dodge and rewarding myself with a long weekend out of town camping. If you happen to be in the middle of nowhere -- which is roughly right about where the Wisconsin and Mississippi Rivers meet -- look for me. I'll be the guy covered in bug spray reading books by a camping fire and asking passerby if they'd like to share a little Maker's.

Score one for Photogal.



You know how Photogal would warn me that my favorite late-night White Castle was dangerous and I was a fool to go inside there at three in the morning? Remember how I scoffed and maintained the neighborhood wasn't that bad?

Okay, maybe I was wrong.

A 21-year-old Chicago man was killed and three other men were wounded in a stabbing attack in the parking lot of a White Castle restaurant on the city's West Side, authorities said.

The stabbings occurred shortly before 3 a.m. at North and Central Avenues. (full story)

Well, at least my stomach will thank me for knocking that off the list of possible late-night eateries. Also, for the record: Photogal was right and I was wrong.

Ow, that hurt.

I’m beginning to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.

I have a bad stomach. It wasn’t always bad but it’s pained me since my late teens. I think it’s hereditary because my dad had the same condition. Until about a year ago I just assumed I was going to spend my life buying those big jars of Tums and popping those little chalky momentary spots of relief every hour or so.

Then my doctor put me on Prevacid and my stomach ails disappeared…literally overnight!

So I’ve been on Prevacid for over a year now and stomach-wise things couldn’t be better. I’ve noticed a few suspect circumstances that have popped up though. My primary concern has been the fact that I think Prevacid interferes with my digestion more than it should since I actually gained a little weight after starting on the drug. Said weight has not disappeared even though I’m at the gym five days a week and do hours and hours of cardio. So I began to grow suspicious.

I did some poking around on-line and found other people were experiencing the same problem so I decided it was high time to make an appointment to see my doctor and bring up my concerns with her. So two weeks ago I dutifully called up her office and made and appointment for her first available slot…which ended up being June 3. Jeez.

Anyway, a few days ago I ran out of Prevacid. Now keep in mind that I’m all but sure that it’s the culprit behind my body’s stubborn refusal to operate as it should so I’m interested in trying a different drug however until a new course of action presents itself the Prevacid is the only thing keeping my stomach from eating itself. So last night I stop by my pharmacy after having placed an order for a refill a few days ago only to be told my doctor had refused to refill the prescription since I was technically out of refills. Okay, I typed “refill” one too many times there. But I’ll go on anyway.

So my first thought was, “What am I going to do without Prevacid?” Then I moved on to, “Wait, I have an appointment in a few weeks and she turns down my prescription and then neglects to call me to explain why?” And then came the inevitable, “I guess I’d better stop off for Tums on the way home.”

I’m supremely annoyed at my doctor for the lack of communication and I’m supremely scared of dealing with that constant pain over the next month until I can finally wedge myself into her daily schedule but I did wake up this morning with a bit of optimism since I reckon that going off the drug cold turkey will either prove or disprove my theory about what I suspect to be Prevacid’s more insidious and less publicized side-effect.

And with that I bid you adieu as I depart for the gym. By the way, a review of last night’s Garbage show should be up at over at Lost In Guyville before I leave for a camping trip tomorrow so keep an eye out for that. I will say that I was surprised and pleased to see Butch Vig behind the drum-kit and the band put on a much more engaging show than I had expected. And Shirley Manson is still hot hot hot.

First come, first serve.

My little brother has an extra ticket to tonight's sold-out Garbage show at Metro here in Chicago. If anyone is interested in buying it at face value or thereabouts (and by thereabouts I mean he might be negotiable to a lower -- never higher -- price) let me know!

I'd buy it myself if I hadn't just been offered two press passes this weekend...so if you're interested e-mail me here: tankboy (at) gmail (dot) com

This poem should not be read in a sing-song voice.

better at staying sober lately
while everyone else does not
however
lack of sleep
and insistent morning pups
can be much much worse than a hangover
so
if you see me lying in a heap
at the gym
at my desk
or
at the metro
please do not harvest my kidneys
and pack me in a bathtub full of ice.
thanks.

A momentous occurrence!


I almost forgot to mention this unbelievable yet true factoid about last night’s Spoon show? It was the first time in ages – probably since I saw House Of Love in the late 80’s – that I didn’t have a drop of booze whilst attending a show at The Metro. And I still managed to enjoy myself!

Truth be told, the band was so good¹ even Photogal became a fan on the spot. Considering this is a woman who does not allow new musical groups to enter her life all that often this was indeed an evening of momentous occurrences!

¹Yes, there is a review forthcoming at Lost In Guyville. Hey! The review is up now so make with the clicky and go read it!.

TONIGHT



DJs Tankboy and Rudy Tuesday
are gonna rock it
along with special guest DJ and birthday girl
Gina Crosley of Rockit Girl.

(Get it? Rock it? Rockit? We're so clever.)

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday May 3, 2005
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

New stuff from Gorillaz, Weezer, Spoon, The Redwalls, Nine Inch Nails, Sleater-Kinney, Dogs, Stephen Malkmus, Milk At Midnight, Sons & Daughters, Maxïmo Park, Turbonegro, The Tears, The Cells and much much more...

Rockit!
I kill me...

Every Tuesday.
Only at Ten56.

Yup. It's Monday.

It's cold, dank and windy outside. But hey; I'm going to see Spoon for free tonight, it's only a four-day work-week for me this week, I had a terrific weekend filled with visits from friends and family as well as unexpected encounters and the chance to see an ex-roommate rock out, I finished two books and realized that my itch to consume books has returned with a vengeance and Photogal actually laughed at a few jokes on last night's Family Guy. I should be in the best of all moods!

But I'm not. At least not this second. Because despite all that exciting and fun stuff mentioned above it is absolutely impossible to refute the simple fact that right now it is a Monday and, no matter what, that will always pretty much suck.

Sunday's riddle me this moment.

Who is Big Tanky and why do we both have the same H.S.T. quote on our pages?

Coincidence? Mebbe.