Talk dirty to me.

Woolworthy should be a hoot as Poison tonight. providing Doyle can nail the ultimitely fucked up and non-sensical drum lines. Something tells me he will and then some. Scott should do a good version of Liam Gallagher too, though I wonder if NESS will be tempted to drift into '76-era Genesis at any point in the evening. (What is it with me referencing Genesis so much lately?!)

Man is Double Door gonna be fun tonight.

What the hell is this Votergasm thing you speak of?

Hi there. Jury duty was fun. The Roller Derby Party last night was about a million times more fun. Twisting Herb’s pencil eraser fake nipples at Liar’s Club last night was even more awesome. Due to all the fun I’ve had, though, I really need to get into work and catch up on some stuff before the weekend. My boss gets back in the country Monday so I want to make sure I can impress her with my high level of productivity while she was gone.

Did I mention my boss reads this from time to time?

Anyway, gotta get out the door, so I figured I’d do a nice little cut-and-paste thing for the Votergasm event we’re holding at Ten56 on Tuesday. Personally I signed up for Votergasm so I could be guaranteed Hot Election Night Sex™ with Photogal. You should sign up to just guarantee, if you should so choose, Hot Election Night Sex™. Here’s the letter I got from them today in advance of my own hastily slapped together Votergasm thingie:

Dear Votergasm party planner,

On November 2, America will choose its president--and, just as important, 35,000 sexy, patriotic Votergasm pledgers will choose their partners for hot, hot election-night sex. Your party will help make that possible, and I want to thank you for it.

If you've gotten this far, you probably don't need my help. But Votergasm is all about sharing, so here are a few tips for successful party planning:

Remember our disclaimers: pledge-fulfilling sex must be safe, consensual, legal, generous, and hot. Safe sex equipment can be found at Condomania.com. You might want to print out our disclaimers and post them at your party. A handy poster can be found here.

Download the sexy new Votergasm anthem, "Election Erection," and put it in your party playlist.

Serve Votergasm Cocktails, such as the "Vote on the Beach." (Voters under 21 should be served "virgin" cocktails; virgins over 21 should be served alcoholic cocktails.) Send us recipes at cocktails@votergasm.org and we'll send out the best ones around to all of you on Election Day. (Um, our party's at Ten56, so no one under 21 is allowed, virgin or no. Sorry.)

Play the Votergasm election-night drinking game. (Did I already suggest that you should set up a way for people to watch the election results come in? No? Okay: set up a way for people to watch the election results come in.) Again, we'll send you the rules on Election Day.

Go-go boys and go-go girls are a surefire way to "hot things up." Make sure dancing is legal at your party location. If your dancers are extremely hot, please send us their photographs and phone numbers.

Make people come. Let me rephrase that. Get people to show up at your party. Get it listed in local publications. Post flyers in student centers, coffee shops, bars, and the like. Customizable posters can be found here:

BOY
GIRL

Email your friends using our amazing electronic "e-mail" mailer (just click the "Invite a Friend" link next to your party on the event listing page).

Take pictures. After your party, upload your pictures to the Party Galleries section of our site.

Votergasm.org is a non-partisan, pro-partying, anti-non-voters organization; any overt political messages at parties are not endorsed by Votergasm.org.

Votergasm parties are for voters only. Non-voters can plan their own parties.

Thanks to you and the hundreds of Votergasm party planners across the country, thousands of sexy, patriotic Americans will forever remember November 2 as the orgy of civic participation that America's Founding Fathers intended. Your dedication to voting and sex inspires me, and the entire Votergasm team, every day and night.

Sincerely,

Michelle Collins
Spokeswoman and Director
Votergasm.org

I don’t have any go-go dancers signed up yet, but I figure we can always throw bras on Kip and Fagballs and stick ‘em in aluminum cages or something…

Duty calls.

As I said yesterday, I have jury duty so no post today. However, courtesy of Rick, I do have these pictures of what happens when I leave a Sweet Alice Tuesday early.

The worm!


Whoa, what are Kip and Fagballs up to...and why does Gina seem to be ejoying it so much?


Something tells me she's just about to start shouting, "Naked worm...NAKED WORM!"

In the beginning.

Do you think kids now realize that Phil Collins was once just the drummer for Genesis and Peter Gabriel was the singer? I'm listening to The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway and this struck me. As a matter of fact do you think the kids even know that at one point Genesis was as cool as TV On The Radio?

Waitaminute...do you think kids even know who Peter Gabriel is anymore?

The Golden Girls were robbed!

Soooo, last night didn’t quite pan out as planned. My partner in DJ crime was a no-show (apparently he decided to grab a nap before coming in…and woke up thirteen or so hours later) and the turn-out was much lighter than anticipated. What gives? To add insult to injury, the best costumed folks, a trio of lovely ladies who buried their charms under the very convincing guise of television’s The Golden Girls, didn’t win the best costume contest! Instead a less than inspired Janis Joplin won due to a technicality both Rudy and I had missed…the bar was giving the prize for the best dead rock star costume whereas we had just been promoting the prize as going to the best costume regardless of genre. Oh well, at least one of The Golden Girls won a free shot and a Ten56 t-shirt so they didn’t all walk away empty handed.

Also, to set then record straight since everyone was asking last night: No, I’m not angry with Rudy for not showing. I‘m actually glad he just overslept since I had nightmare images of overturned semis pinning him to the tarmac and his last words being, “But they would have loved us as Poison this Sunday…why God, why?!”
__________
Doing my civic duty.

Tomorrow I have to report the suburbs for jury duty. Why the hell do I have to drive thirty miles outside of the city for frickin’ jury duty? Aren’t there enough slack-ass housewives with nothing better to do that live closer to the courthouse than I do? Whatever. I’ll show up and cross my fingers against being selected for a jury. I’m usually pretty good at alienating one lawyer or the other at these things though since I’m an opinionated, well-educated, white male…just the kind of person most lawyers don't want on a jury. At least it’ll give me some uninterrupted free time to do some reading and give a listen to the Pavement Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (that Pitchfork actually gave an unheard of 10.0 review (!!)) re-issue on my iPod (a.k.a. tankPOD.)
__________
Off the wagon, a bit.

So I had a few drinks last night, thus ending my two week dry spell, and realized I’ve lost the taste for getting hammered. I’ve grown to enjoy getting up early in the morning and working out before heading into the office. I like being to remember what happened the night before without the aid of flash-cards or notes scrawled on my hands or napkins. I really grew to enjoy driving home late at night instead of forking over fifteen bucks to a cabbie…but most of all I enjoyed Photogal being slightly less pissed at me on a constant basis.

We’ll see how it goes, but I’m really going to try and keep it down to a sociable two or three drinks an evening from here on out
__________
Dashed upon the rocks.

Speaking of drunks, there was this absolutely stunning girl in the bar last night. She was a bit punky but was rocking this total younger Angelina Jolie look. Many men approached her throughout the evening. I found out from the bartender at the end of the night that she introduced herself to every guy using a different name. That’s awesome.

No, I meant to say: That’s hot.

TONIGHT

It's time for
The 2nd Annual Sweet Alice
Pre-Halloween
Rot-N-Roll
Bash
with free booze and food
and killer tunes
all night long!

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest music
from yesterday, today and tomorrow
with a special emphasis
on selections from performers
who have shuffled off their mortal coil.

This year...with even more cowbell!

TONIGHT, Tuesday October 26, 2004
Free PBR from 8pm-9pm
HOSTED BAR AND PIZZA from 9pm-10pm!
PRIZES FOR COOL COSTUMES!
T-SHIRT GIVE-AWAYS ALL NIGHT LONG!
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

Features of the week:

Dead Guys
Dead Gals
Songs about/featuring Dead Gals and Guys
Cover Songs
Scary Halloweeny-type Music
Really Scary Music
(...don't worry, I'll keep my Britney holstered,
we don't want you running out of the bar screaming...)

...and any other kick-ass stuff
we decide to play...

Boo!

Only at Ten56.

NEXT WEEK: VOTERGASM!
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Film Fun.

Just a quick note...I watched Prey For Rock And Roll the other night and it is yet another fine Gina Gershon film with a gratuitous lesbian scene. Seriously though, it's not a bad film. It kind of captures the aging rocker rather well and my only real complaint is that the lyrics to the songs kind of suck, but I guess it was adapted from a play so that can be explained. Within the economy of the stage I can see how the songs must have served to forward the story line, but in the movie I would've just preferred some kick-ass rock and/or roll.

(Fun Fact: The guy who co-wrote the Hedwig music also helped tighten these songs up, so musically they definitely have kick...it's just the lyrics that sag a tad.)

Regardless, check out the film as it does have some weight and doesn't resort to a cop-out ending. In the world of rock and/or roll fables this is a rare thing indeed!

Milk At Midnight...

...rock my world. No shit. This trio is white-hot right now. I kid you not. Intense pop-psych with bombastic drumming...think Secret machines with less hypnotism and more melody. And on methamphetamines. The show last night was marred only by the bartender accidentally cutting the band's set short by throwing on the house sound system too early. Some bands would have thrown a temper tantrum...but Milk At Midnight merely looked at the snafu as an opportunity to pee and then refill on beer. That's the behavior of a rock and/or roll professional.

Age Of The Rifle opened the show with their two-guitar/one-drummer JSBX influenced attack and even though this was only my third time seeing them they are quickly growing into one tight and hammer-headed unit.

The Venom Lords closed out the night with sweetly acidic harmonies and tee-yight songs. It was my first time seeing the group and they held up under the promise their vaunted pedigree -- all the players have been in some pretty great local bands in the past so this is a "supergroup" of sorts. My personal highlight was watching the interplay between punk-power couple Gina and Dan as they shared the stage together. It was definitely a mixture of, "Awwww, how sweet." and "Pump your fists in the air, motherfucker!"

Definitely one solid frickin' night with no complaints and lots of kudos from the peanut gallery.

Also, did I mention that Light FM played this song last night?



If they ever release that tune as a single, I nominate the above photo for use as the cover. providing they get the model's permission, of course...

Oh yeah, before I forget...

...The Rub is back. Yay!

The nightly recap.

Whereas Wednesday’s show had to hurtle obstacle after obstacle in order to succeed, tonight’s show couldn’t have been more successful. (Okay, on the money front, I think half the folks in the room were either on the guest list or got in without paying…but considering the energy they gave back to the bands I’m willing to overlook that.)

The Melismatics started out by raising the bar to the ceiling with an unbelievably explosive set. Skid and The Ladies & Gentlemen took that challenge and stepped up their game. Woolworthy were rock and/or roll savages and I’m pretty sure there was a moment or two, with just a tad more effort, Doyle (Woolworthy's drummer) could have actually burst into flames.

And then Light FM just completely killed swinging left and right and looser than I’ve ever seen them. It was really great.

And I stayed sober…not a drop of alcohol, again. Danny Doom suggested I start warning people or wearing some sort of identifying sign that I wasn’t drinking so drunk folks would know not to trust me since I'll remember everything they said the next morning. Har de har Danny.

Man was tonight…I don’t even know what superlative to assign to the evening at this point. I wish every Tankboy show was like this. There was just a sense of family and togetherness and joy that I rarely encounter at shows anymore.

Wow.
__________
Tonight…

…I’m staying in, watching a movie and decompressing after three fun, and clearly remembered, evenings.

Has my friend Skid become a pirate?!


Only one way to find out for sure...come see his band play at Subterranean tonight along with Light FM, Woolworthy and The Melismatics.

And l'il ol' sober me.

THIS JUST IN: Little Dave Suh will be playing guitar for Woolworthy. Excellent...

Not as good as the time I brought in
a note from a funeral home saying I was dead
in order to miss a quizz...but not too shabby, either.

My co-worker's dad teaches a mass com lecture course and recieved this e-mail yesterday:

Date: Wed, 20 Oct 2004 12:19:36 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: Re: Com. XXX Lecture Outline Thursday, 10/21

Dr.X --

Excuse me if I come into class late tomorrow. Should the Red Sox win
tonight (which they won't, so it's really no problem), I will likely have
spent all tonight leaning over a trash can, throwing up.

(name witheld)

The teacher's response? Classy:

The lecture outline for tomorrow can be found on blackboard.

A few thoughts on tonight’s show.
(Although it’s now technically tomorrow,
so I should say “last night’s show.")

First off, what a run of bad luck. Rockit Girl caught the brunt of the negative energy when Gina had her purse stolen during soundcheck and Emily’s bass rig blew up. Then John’s guitar conked out just as they took the stage. The Cells were fighting a collective cold and everyone had to contend with the Yankees versus the Sox and the fact most folks would rather be at home or at a sports bar than at a rock show.

All that said, I’ve got to say that the bands really brought their hearts and souls onto the stage and played as if a) the house was packed and b) they were possessed by the primal spirit that first took a stage and let itself explode unabashedly over an audience. In other words everyone overcame their particular obstacles and emerged more or less victorious. American Cosmonaut in particular turned in an incendiary set complete with the attempted murder of one guitar by repeatedly beating the stage with its body. The guitar emerged victorious but the spectacle was worth it.

In other news my sobriety is still going strong though I think the staff at Double Door was afraid I would exhaust their supply of water at one point. I’m a thirsty guy by nature, I guess. Also, I noticed that usually when I drink at rock shows it’s a form of celebration and I end up immersed in the music. When I’m sober I’m more detached from the spectacle and find myself in more of an observer mode. I still enjoy what’s going on, it’s just in a different manner than I am accustomed.

Well, if tonight was what a show can be like when everything goes wrong I can’t wait until tomorrow’s (um, I mean tonight’s) show at SubT. It should absolutely kill.

And on that note it’s time to hit the sack if I want any chance of getting up early enough (er, about four hours from now) to go to the gym before work since that’s the only time I’ll have to work out at all tomorrow. Wish me luck at an early rise…

Post Script: If Gina scans and e-mails me a scan of the photo booth pictures she and Emily took last night I’d be happy to post ‘em here to show what fun was had as the Double Door was closing down and I was paying the bands. Oh yeah, the Double Door now has a photo booth. Fun!

Oooooooky Spoooooky!


Something tells me this would not go over well with Betty the Beagle.

(Wanna torture your pet? Buy the costumes here. You can also read more about pet costumes here.)
__________
The clear and present DJ.

So I made it through all of last night sober and learned one thing right off the bat: the people that come in for free beer from 8-9 (before I spin) are drunk by 9:30. I guess I never noticed since I was usually getting my own drink on while being preoccupied by playing music. Also it seemed as if everyone had to talk to me last night. Don't take that the wrong way though since it was great to catch up with some folks and such, it just seemed as if more folks wanted a slice of time last night than they usually do on a Tuesday. That's cool though as it's always nice to feel appreciated.

Also, two friends of mine from Normal who now work for different record companies came in with lots of free CDs for me, including the new disc by The Music which, judging from what I heard last night, ain't bad at all. I'm also digging the William Shatner cover of Pulp's "Common People" thanks to my label pals. (Hi label pals, I owe each of you a mix CD in return for all the cool stuff you've given me over the years.)

Earlier in the evening I watched some WB show One Tree Hill since Light FM had licensed a song to them and I was hoping to see how they used it. Well I didn't have to wait long as it was the first song they played -- over the intro to this week's show -- and they played a good 2 1/2 minutes of it! Apparently the same song will be used on the new Kelly Osbourne show next week so hopefully more folks in the industry will take note and finally give these guys the record deal they've deserved for so long...

And now I see the time and am thinking to myself, "Self, it is not unusual for you to get into work a little later than usual on a Wednesday since you are usually out late Tuesday night. Also, self, you stayed stone sober last night and you came home early. So, self, why the hell is it so late and you're still sitting at the computer. Usually if you haven't been out the night before, you're on the road by now!"

I guess that's my cue to vamos.
__________
Oh, waitaminute, two more quick things:

• The new Flaming Lips song from the Spongebob Aquarepants soundtrack is simply delightful. Yup, I typed that. “Simply delightful.” Fuck you, I can be a stwee as I wanna be. It’s sweet and catchy and wonderful. (download a low bit-rate version and sample it for yourself over at Stereogum.)
  
  
• I’m glad to see Hunter S. Thomspon still puts my drunken shenanigans to shame. Holy jeez…

Omigod, I almost forgot!

My first post is up over at Chicago MetBlog today! Check it out.

Priorities.

So I decided to go to the gym this morning instead of writing so today’s content will be decidedly lean. Sorry about that, but I’m really just too busy right now!

Tonight, though, I (on the early side) and Rudy (on the late side) will be – as usual -- at Ten56. We’ll be joined by Kevin from Kiss-N-Ride guesting from 10-11 spinning old Madchester, funk, soul and classic Chicago house. Also, Capitol records will be on hand to give out some free goodies while we spin a few tracks from the new The Music album Welcome to The North. It should be a bit different from the usual tunes we spin so it’s worth checking out. Next week is our big Pre-Halloween bash and that’s a must-not-miss event.

I thought I’d get in earlier so I could work up something before I had to be on the clock, but this was one of those traffic days where every route to my job was obscured by accidents, construction or just crappy traffic. I even took an off-route through a few Northern suburbs for a while just to avoid the back-up. So, instead of having fifteen to twenty minutes to write as planned, I am left with, oh, about five. And those five are up!

Toodles.

—nada—

My weekend was totally…domestic. I only left the house to go to the gym or run an errand or two. Watched some DVDs. Made some food. You know, I basically puttered around the house in my PJs. This weekend also marked the first time in (literally) years that I didn’t go out on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday at all. Wild.

The end result? My mind is well rested but I really don’t have anything to say!

So, instead, I dare you to a staring contest! Look into my eyes…

What the fuck part one?!

The Chicago Tribune endorses Bush for president…even after almost all their election coverage has skewed towards Kerry? What bullshit.
__________
What the fuck part two?!

You Should Be a Pimp for Halloween!

What should you be for Halloween?

Okay, maybe that’s not so surprising after all.

Dry...for now.

I have three shows and one DJ set in the coming week. The following week is Halloween. In the interest of keeping my liver from slicing a way out from the inside to run far far away and save itself I have decided to remain dry until our Pre-Halloween Bash at Ten56. Really, if I drank at every event I had planned this week it would not be good, and I really want to be in fighting shape for Halloween. So if you offer to buy me a drink or a shot and I turn it down, just remember that I still love you but my body really needs a brief reprieve.

M'kay?

Chicago MetBlog!

I am pleased as punch to announce that Chicago MetBlog has deemed yours truly worthy enough to contribute to their site! I'm excited since these folks cover the city from a perspective that interests me more than that covered by Gaper's Block or Chicagoist. I dig both those sites and read 'em daily, but sometimes I feel that they don't really offer much more than commentary on the stories already in the daily papers. Chicago MetBlog attacks the city from the inside out and I think that's much cooler.

MySpace.

Thanks to all the folks that have sent me MySpace invites already. The durn thing is pretty addictive. Damn you Gina!

Okay Gina, you win...

I finally have a MySpace account. Stop on by and add me to your friends list if you're up there too.

Apparently this is supposed to help with networking with other rock and/or rollers...let's see if it actually helps...

Leggo my ego.

So this is what the Tankboy Lego character would look like?



Not too shabby!

(Credz Tripindicular and go here to make your own Lego version of yourself!)

Well, we’re shocked…and stunned.

I have seen lots of live music in my time. I have seen so much live music that it’s safe to say that while the spectacle of the show still moves me there really isn’t that much that actually catches me off guard anymore..

Last night caught me off guard.



The third band that played, after my friends were done, was from Norway and were absolutely nothing like the openers. Think of Debbie Harry meets Duran Duran with distortion and amped up on Johnny Rotten and you begin to get an idea of what Surferosa was like. I personally got shoved across the dance floor a few times by their diminutive singer Mariann and that was one of the tamer moments of the show. Apparently they’ve been on tour with The Killers and last night was an off night so they just picked up a show in Chicago. A full review will appear at DoneWaiting in the next day or two.

If you get a chance to see them, do NOT pass it up!
__________
My first and only post about the debates.

The Decadent West has posted a gut-busting re-envisioning of last night's debate with Mortal Kombat's Sub Zero as the moderater. Read the whole thing here and brink a hankie to dab at the tears that will be leaking from your eyes. Fuuuuuunny.

Uh oh, am I going to hell?

It looks that way if I continue to Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock with the Rock.

At least that's what Chick says.

(credz Lindsey)

I don't feel like writing today...

...so I’m not gonna. Deal.

Whilst you eagerly await the return of Tankboy, you might want to bide your time getting excited about and ultimately attending the Spanish For 100 and Le Concorde show tonight at Schuba’s. It should be rockin’ poppin’ bliss.

And now, a monkey in a fez:

Why Tonight Is Special-er Than Usual
or
Three Reasons You
Really Should Go To Ten56 Tonight

One: Dan O is leaving the House Of Blues here in Chicago to open a new one up in Cleveland. He knows lots of people so it should be pretty hoppin'. We’re letting him kick off the night as guest DJ and then the farewell party will continue until 2am...well, probably later. We'll get thrown out of Ten56 at 2am, how's that?

Two: My friend Aaron is in town with his band in advance of a show at Schuba’s tomorrow. Considering one of the last times he was in town he didn’t get to visit anyone but me due to a Maker’s hangover he was forced to endure after a night out on the town with me, I would say you probably want to track him down and say hi tonight. Before I rock and ruin him.

Three: Because we are awesome.
__________
Figures.

I am Indie Girl Click on the picture below to read more: Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

Yes, can’t sleep.

Hmmm…I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch watching the Blur Starshaped DVD. Funny stuff, by the way. I knew they were a bunch of lushes when they were young, but it’s still kind of funny to see Damon Albarn puking his guts out on some random bench on some random street.

Anyway, something must’ve woken me up because now here I am and I can’t sleep. If it weren’t so goldarned early I’d just go to the gym or into work but it’s too early even for that. The thing is, I have an old friend coming into town – his band is playing Schuba’s tomorrow – and I want to make sure I’m tip-top and well-rested when he arrives so that I can enjoy his company in-between my DJ sets later tonight. Also, I want to be well-rested because, well, I DJ later tonight!

This sounds sick, but I kind of wish I had Quark on my home computer so I could get a little work done before I even head into the office. Yeah, I know, that’s completely wrong, isn’t it?

I’m also a tad grumpy because I went to pick up a copy of this week’s Economist and it wasn’t in yet. Stupid Columbus Day holiday…not only did I have to work but, since everyone else seemed to have the day off, regular goods and services were interrupted. Bastards. What am I going to read while I work out later today?

Hmmm…let’s see. I’m usually good for random, stream of consciousness type thingys when I’m half-asleep like I am right now, the ol’ proverbial defenses being down and all, but it ain’t coming right now. I’ve been listening to a lot of old stand-up comedy albums lately -- stuff like Bob Newhart, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby and Lenny Bruce – and I’m in awe of the way they construct stories. Newhart in particular came as a refreshing surprise since I was never really familiar with his stand-up work, but he’s got this one bit about a school for bus drivers that had me laughing out loud all the way through. It was that kind of percussive “man, that caught me by surprise” laugh that blasts through the air of a car with its windows rolled up. Not a bad way to spend one’s commute.

Okay, maybe it’s time to force myself back in bed, counting genetically altered sheep until the sandman pulls my eyelids toward my lips and kisses me goodnight.

Zombie Fun!

Go see Shaun Of The Dead right now. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Do not even stop to buy popcorn.

Okay, stop to buy popcorn. It’ll make the movie even better.

Seriously, any movie that works as both zombie flick and romantic comedy deserves your consumer vote through ticket buying and attendance.

So git!

This is funny…and fitting.

Apparently a few of Richard Linklater’s ex-high school classmates are suing him for using their names and “likeness” in Dazed And Confused. My favorite quote is from Richard “Pink” Floyd:

"We had fun in high school, but there is nothing true about that movie. Yet I am having to deal with it all the time," said Mr Floyd, who works at a car showroom in Huntsville, Texas, where the men went to school. (full story)

So an ex-high school football star is now a car salesman in the same town he went to high school. Heh.
__________
This is frustrating…and sickening.

I have always hated Sweetest Day. I’ve always thought is was the worst example of a Hallmark Holiday and an excuse to unload all the crap that didn’t move on Valentine’s Day. Now that I’ve learned how the holiday actually started I've move beyond feelings of hatred for this day and can’t believe how far corporate America has twisted the day’s original intention:

Sweetest Day was established around 1922 by a Cleveland-based candy company employee. Seeking to bring happiness to the lives of those who often were forgotten, Herbert Birch Kingston and a handful of others who supported his efforts distributed candy and small gifts to orphans, shut-ins and others to show them that someone cared. (full story)

So what started off as a truly nice way to try and brighten the lives of the less fortunate has been transformed into a desperate holiday where the lonely feel even more so and those with companions feel even more pressure to prove their feelings. Sick.

I mean, c'mon...that's AWESOME!

I knew there was a reason I liked Ultragrrrl:


Karaoke and an armful of Pabst? Yes!

Admit it Julie, that's pretty fucking cool.

(Stolen pic credz)

That's weird.

I just got a bunch of hits from the following address:

United States House of Representatives
Washington, D.C.
United States

If someone needs a running mate, I'm still available!

Plug-O-Rama (ish)!

Here are a few things that make Tankboy go. If you own any of these companies and feel like kicking me a few bucks for endorsing your product I will do so with pleasure.

• Gatorade X-Factor – The Orange+Tropical Punch blend is the absolute best. I have long worshipped Gatorade for its ability to flood my system with liquids and refresh me after an evening of libations, but this new flavor takes the experience to a whole different level. Oddly enough, this is the way Orange Gatorade has pretty much always tasted in Mexico, so this brings back a taste of my youth with every sip.
  
  
• Corona – Speaking of Mexico, since Photogal returned from her month long sojourn there, she has moved off the vodkas and onto the Corona. In an attempt to curb my own practices of consumption (wherein a vodka soda turns into – in some bartenders’ hands – a VODKA soda) I have followed suit. I also favor Amstel Light. Only when I’m trying to blend in with the yuppies and trixies.
  
  
• Doc Martens Boots - I no longer wear the combat boot style of footwear, and haven’t for about a decade now, but the only shoes I trust to always be comfy are my Docs. Plus, Alexei Sayle wrote a song about them.

Umm…sorry, I seem to have totally run out of steam. Literally. My mind went blank. It might be a self-defense mechanism since I have to move my car before street cleaning begins at nine. The irony is that it’s totally raining outside so I really don’t think the street cleaning is necessary. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

If you can think of any other products that seem uniquely Tankboy-esque to you, slot ‘em in the comments below.
___________
This blows. Why is this not playing in Chicago?


But this is awesome and makes me smile.

(Credz for the pic.)

Extreme measures.

Due to there being an unbelievable amount of activity I need to smash into today's unrelentingly forward ticking clock, I will actually try heading out to the gym before work this morning! Nuts, I know. However there's grocery shopping that must be done today and I have a major time constraint in the shape of my friend Julie's birthday bash at Phyllis' tonight.

(By the way, if you know Julie -- and if you don't you should -- the bash is at Phyllis' starting at 8pm. Her dad's credit card is providing free pizza and the drinks there are so cheap they certainly won't put too much of a dent in your pocket-book! But please, do not buy Julie any shots of rootbeer schnapps. Thank you.)

Later tonight Mike Watt is at Double Door and considering I've got a big ol' signed poster of his framed in my office I'd say his live shows rank pretty darn high in my estimation. I believe he's touring with The Secondmen and those guys sure know how to raise a racket.

Hmm, this entry seems to have fallen under the subcategory of "cool stuff I'm doing tonight" and hasn't really done much in the way of "entertaining the reader and/or revealing something about the author." Well, since I certainly don't want to just blend in with the rest of the pack I suppose I should do something to rectify that, eh?

But what can I do/reveal? I've already posted a cute baby picture, talked about ex-girls, apologized for talking about ex-girls, name-dropped, talked about all the fun I had and you missed and dropped an album review in fifty words or less. Where to go from there?

Jesus Kee-rist, look at the time. In the past this was the time I was usually contemplating heading home...not the time I was getting up to start my day! Ugh. In light of this observation I say screw it to the whole "entertaining the reader and/or revealing something about the author" concept. I'm having me some waffles.

Enjoy your day.

I think I may actually be smiling in this picture...

...even though my sister-in-law totally snapped it on the sly. I was afraid to actually hold my new nephew for fear of breaking him and had only ventured so far as shaking his toe or poking his belly up until this point.

As you can see, he's adorable.

Real Gone guy.

I picked up the new Tom Waits disc, Real Gone, on the way in to work today and it's so fucking good. It's sounds alternately like he's destroying a toolshed from the inside out and telling chine-spilling stories with a mega-watt flashlight blasting out his features only to fade to a dim candle glow.

Yeah, it's that good.

Misquoted by the press.

It has been brought to the management’s attention that the last post entered onto this web site yesterday had the air of “pining over old flames” about it. This was not the original intent of the author. It was meant to reflect fond memories of an ex-lover and then provide a contrapuntal device in the form of a reflection over the countless mistakes littering and generally fucking up the author’s past love life.

Many apologies if the post was taken differently. Especially if you are the author’s current paramour.
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Last night ruled, we rocked and you rolled.

As a matter of fact – and this is beginning to become a habitual Wednesday-type post – last night was so fun that I have no real time to write today. Daddy has to go to work to pay the bills, baby, so I’ll catch you tomorrow.

Until then I leave you with a game:

Spot the Tankboy in The Bean!

(Okay, it’s lame. Like I said, I’m pressed for time!)

El blast-o from el past-o!

I just remembered my ex-girlfriend (who is now a cop in the 'burbs) may come out to hear me spin tonight. This would be cool since, even though we have seen each other at least once in the past three years or so, she hasn't heard me DJ since, oh, 1993 or so! Also I can tease he about giving my mom a ticket for rolling through a stop sign a while ago.

I'm trying to remember why we stopped dating...oh yeah. I was an idiot. To be fair, she was the one who was indecisive at first, but then I more than made up for it when other girls became options and, as always seems to happen in a multiple choice situation, I made the wrong choice in the long run. Oh well, if she actually makes it out it'll be nice to catch up!

The early bird gets the worm, gags, chokes and then coughs it up all red in the face.

That’d be me. Up early. Due to an early evening appointment I need to leave work early. If I want a chance of making it to the gym I need to leave work much earlier than usual. In order to do that I must get in to work much much earlier than usual.

So I type even earlier.

Tonight Rudy and I are DJing at Ten56, as per usual. Last night I watched Love Actually again and, true to form, got all misty-eyed at the end. Does it make me any less Rock and/or Roll for doing so? Eh, who cares? I enjoyed the movie anyway.

Ow, is that a headache coming on from lack of sleep? Probably. Better kill it with the sugar from some waffle syrup and some caffeine courtesy Juan Valdez.

Toodles.

BTW

The pants Photogal wore to the party following the Christening filled me with some very un-Christian urges. Come to think of it, the pants she wore to work today had much the same effect on me.

Rowr!

An emotional rollercoaster
eliciting confused whooping and hollering.

Well, that’s what this weekend felt like. Friday night I perhaps became the first person ever to successfully mix out of Britney Spears’s “Crazy” into Mudhoney’s “Touch Me I’m Sick” without missing a beat. That sort of derring-do was much on display as Rudy and I tore up InnJoy. There was lots of dancing, an instant two-for-one shot special declared by the bar’s owner that compleyely caught the bartenders off guard and lots and lots of pretty girls and boys. It was a smashing success and they were already trying to get us to commit to another appearance before the end of the month.

Saturday was my dad’s funeral, so that was a bit stressful. The priest decided to dedicate the homily to my father’s life and it was pretty apparent about a minute and a half in that this guy had never met my dad and had no idea what kind of person he was. My brother actually wrote out a eulogy to print out and pass out and I think it did a much better job of capturing my dad. I guess this church had banned eulogies since they tended to get out of hand, but I really wish we could’ve just read ours. It had me in tears so it probably would’ve had the whole congregation sobbing. You can read the whole eulogy here.

I noticed they did bring out The Resurrection Choir to sing for my dad! Unfortunately The Resurrection Choir actually did look like they had just recently been exhumed and the resulting “joyful noise” more appropriately approximated a “deflated murmur.” At the end of the ceremony I was in charge of bringing his ashes back home so I kept telling Photogal she would have to ride in the back of her own Jeep so my dad could ride shotgun.

My dad had requested we throw a party in his honor after the funeral, so we did. Everyone got really drunk, ate a lot of food and generally had a good time. My dad would’ve had a blast.

I also realized as the evening went on that I think I now miss him more than I did just after he died and I’m having great difficulty putting this behind me and moving on. Maybe I never will. I guess as more time passes I become more aware of the fact that I’ll never see him again, that he’ll never hold any of my kids in his arms and that I’ll never be able to tease him for running out to Best Buy every Tuesday to buy a bunch of DVDs and CDs he’ll never even take out of the shrink wrap.

The evening wrapped up with one of my oldest and closest friends Garrick driving me home and regaling me with stories from the nightclub his little brother works at in New York named Plunge. Then we started watching old episodes of Sledge hammer and I think I conked out shortly after that.

Sunday had a completely different tone since it was the baptism of my nephew. I can’t really think to write too much on this subject aside from the fact that Alexander handled the whole thing like a pro with nary a peep, even when he was having water poured all over his head. What an awesome baby. It does freak me out a little though, since he looks exactly like my brother…it’s as if he spawned a little mini-me version of himself. I also realized that my family’s genes are pretty strong and tend to bulldoze the genes of those we, um, procreate with. So if you’re looking for blonde-haired/blue-eyed children, we are your men.

Also, at the celebration afterwards I ate so much brisket and cake I actually had to lay down and nap for a while. At least no one tried to burp me.

I wrapped up the day with a viewing of Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind and smacked myself for not watching this movie sooner. It was awesome. Quite possibly one of the sweetest love stories I have ever seen. Lovely.

Deep dark stuff.

Tankboy is dealing with a lot. So if he seems grumpy, or scattered and not nearly as entertaining as he usually is, please allow him a bit of leeway. Things are rough right now...

TONIGHT


More info on InnJoy
(Clicky on the picture above for a bigger, printable flyer!)
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About last night.
Remember all those shows I was so excited to see? Remember all the bands and live music I was going to take in last night? Remember how excited I was to get on the guest list with a Photo Pass so I could have a more concrete archival memory of The Futureheads? Remember that gaper’s delay that kept me from getting into work as early as I wanted? Did you get the same feeling of foreshadowing from that morning’s event that I should have?

Long story short? I didn’t see ANY shows last night.

The beginning of the end came about because of some massive accident on the Tollway that had traffic backed up for miles and miles and miles. It took me over two hours to get home and by then The Futureheads were already well into their set. By the time I got home I was so crushed and beaten by events outside of my control I didn’t even have the energy to drag myself to The Metro to see my old friend perform. Instead I spent the evening watching The Girl Next Door (surprisingly sweet!) and Super Size Me (not-so-surprisingly awesome!) and going to bed early.

I suck.

In an attempt to take last night’s disaster and overcome it, I have decided that tonight’s DJ set will be pure fun. No challenging songs to confuse the crowd. No Tom Waits following Michael Jackson. Plenty of high powered pop and rock and/or roll with some disco, funk and electronic fun thrown in for good measure.

And then tomorrow is my dad’s funeral, so I definitely need to lift my spirits before taking that on. I haven’t written much about my dad lately, but it’s not that he isn’t on my mind. It’s that I’ve been having a harder time processing and quantifying my feelings on him and his departure almost two months ago than I thought I would. I’m hoping tomorrow’s funeral and the following party -- one of his last requests was that we have a party in his honor, which is one reason we waited to have the funeral…a chance to give folks time to get over the initial shock of grief – will help put closure on at least this initial stage of saying goodbye to him.

And then, of course, we’re having my nephew’s baptism on Sunday. Yup, a funeral one day and a baptism the next. Either my family is insanely weird or profoundly in touch with their feelings and a healthy sense of perspective.

Or both.

Okay, off to work. I want to hit the gym before checking out some galleries in Pilsen tonight and then, of course, Djing at InnJoy. Hopefully I’ll see some of you Chicago and suburban folk tonight, cool?