Hey Alanis, is this ironic?

Last week I stepped out of the office to buy some coffee to get me through the rest of the workday. Unfortunately since I work waaaay out in the 'burbs "stepping out" necessitates bundling up, going outside, getting in my car and driving five miles to the nearest Starbucks. A bit of a hassle but worth it once I'm back at my desk with a really tall latte steaming up the air around me.

So last week I stepped out, got my latte and while I was waiting for my beverage I realized my keys weren't in my pocket. So I looked on the counter and on the floor and in my pockets again until I realized that I must have left my keys in my car. Fair enough.

So I calmly walk outside hoping against hope that I forgot to lock my door and then I noticed that I left the car's lights on...and the keys were indeed locked inside.

Damnit!

So I calmly walked back into Starbucks to see if they had a coat hanger I could borrow since I figured I could get the car open myself pretty easily. The manager said they didn't have anything so I tried the Walgreen's a few doors down and bought a pack of twelve flimsy nylon coated wire hangers. I felt very "Mommy Dearest" at this point as was just waiting for child services to swoop down on me for suspicion of an imminent child beating.

So now I figure I'll be back in the car in no time and set to my task of wiggling the hanger in through the space between the door and the car and trying to catch the interior handle or lock or handle or lock or or handle or lock or or handle or lock or...you get the drift. That door wasn't opening.

So I now try AAA since I have a membership with them that includes opening car doors when the car's owner has idiotically left their keys in the ignition and the lights on and might need a jump by the time the guy shows up to unlock the door. So I place the call and they tell me someone will be out there in 45 minutes.

So I wait. And wait. And shiver a bit because it was rather nippy. And look at my car keys in my ignition. And weather the parade of folks trying to show me sympathy and the refrain of, "Oh that's happened to me and I know exactly how you feel" that kept coming my way. And (here's the ironic part) look at the piles of coat hangers lying in my back seat. You see, when I go to the gym at the morning I always hang the dress shirt I'm wearing to work that day in the back seat and I put it on when I get to the office. This way it's less wrinkled than the clothing I wear always seems to be. When I put on the shirt I toss the hanger in the back seat and plan on cleaning it up later. Well, a few months of "I'll clean it up later" has accumulated in my back seat and was mocking my need to purchase an additional twelve hangers from Walgreen's at the start of this fiasco.


After 45 minutes the tow truck calls me and says it'll be another hour. I flip. Filled with new resolve I set to work opening that lock again. The lock finally pops up, I'm in my car and there's enough juice left in the battery to get me started so I'm off! I call AAA to cancel the tow guy and speed off to work with grubby hands, shivering shoulders and a full bladder of coffee I finished over an hour before.

An hour later I get a call from the tow truck asking me where I am.