Well, this certainly makes me feel inadequate as a drummer.

This is Yoyoka Soma, and she is 8 years old. And she is already a better drummer than I will ever hope to be. Amazing.

Now excuse me, I have to go upstairs to my office and start practicing so I can be 0.001% as good as she is.

Rating the dating apps.

I know, you're like, "Dude, I'm surprised ANYONE swipes right on you!"

After a few months of being "actively" single, and going through a number of different dating apps, I feel like I have some key learnings* to share with anyone else also navigating these turbulent waters. I've only used a handful, but they're varied enough that, despite most people's assumptions to the contrary, they each do have their own specific flavor.

So here are my experiences using a few of the more popular apps, though I'm well aware that if you're not me, your experiences may be wildly different. The times they are a'changing, so I've been open to profiles that are looking for everything from traditional LTRs to non-monogamy to existing open relationships to just about whatever.** My only real app turn-offs are a) no bio at all or b) profiles inundated with group photos so you have no idea who the poster is. What the heck?!

It should also be noted that I purposely have a kinda goofy photo as my first shot in most of my profiles—included in this post—since I reckon that immediately weeds out the people that probably wouldn't "get" me in the first place. So that may have an effect on people swiping right / hitting "like." C'est la vie!

Tinder: The OG of dating apps. I know it began as a hook-up app but those days are long behind it. I've had reasonable luck getting a couple of dates through Tinder, but nothing that really lasted all that long. If you're a woman, I understand the number of dudes swiping right on you can be overwhelming, but if you're a dude it's totally manageable. I dunno, my personal jury is still out on this one, but it is one of the easiest to use.

Bumble: Don't call them "the other Tinder." The big difference here is that when you match with someone, they have to start the conversation. I like that since it puts the power in the hands of the other person to get things rolling, but it also means that when you match with someone, if they chicken out, there's not much you can do about it. And if the 24-hour window in which they can chat starts to close, Bumble will bug you to pay money to extend the window. No thanks. I see a lot of the same women on Tinder also on Bumble, but the Bumble dates I've gotten have been more "quality," and even if things haven't worked out romantically, I still chat with many of the folks I've matched with on Bumble. I dig it.

Zoosk: The UX on this app ain't great, and responses are few and far between. From what I can tell, this is the preferred app of suburban single moms, and there is zero wrong with that. However, I don't own a car, so that's not really my scene. Also, the distance parameters constantly go out of whack, so it keeps trying to match me with people who live 50-75 miles away! But if you live in the 'burbs, by all means, this may be the app for you! Me? I'm deleting it.

CasualX: I tried this out based on a Mashable recommendation a few months ago. It is 100% a hook-up app, and it also has a terrible UX, and I'm still not sure exactly how it's supposed to work. And a pure hook-up really isn't my thing anyway. There are also already existing communities out there much better at supporting this approach, so I would skip this app and try those out if that's your thing. For me, CasualX is a full on delete.

Match: If Tinder is the OG of dating apps, Match is the OG of online dating. I only recently started trying it out. Since it's populated primarily with folks looking for long term relationships, I avoided Match for a while, but decided to stick my toe back into its waters. (I first had a Match profile in, what, 2001 or 2001 during a period Photogal and I had broken up?) The response rate still isn't great, but it's a pretty mellow experience overall if you're in no rush (and I am in no rush).

Also, I've also found another approach that works: introduce yourself to someone when you're out at a bar or show [gasp!]. I've had some luck with that as well. Just don't be intrusive, and be prepared to beat a polite and hasty retreat if the person you're talking to obviously isn't into it. It's not that hard to pick up on (though it appears there's an epidemic of men, in particular, who either can't or choose not to see that).

So what am I missing? Should I be trying something else out? And what have been your own experiences with dating apps?


*Sorry, I couldn't resist using that marketing buzzword. It's funny!

**Almost whatever. When friends or ex co-workers (or just plain exes) pop up in my feed I swipe left out of courtesy, and to avoid potentially embarrassing situations. Well, except for one, but that's only because I knew she'd find the humor in it, and she did.

Work on the basement has begun!

After months of wrangling with the insurance company and having to reschedule start times due to events beyond anyone's control, the basement is finally being repaired from February's flood!

I'm viewing this as the beginning of a new chapter in my life—a landmark moment—and the final stage of a particularly challenging (that's an understatement if there ever was one) year.

I'm pretty exited by this.

O.K., just try and tell me this song by The Fratellis doesn't sound like an outtake from James' 'Laid.'

It's Sunday, so let's keep it short. And as you can see, the title of this post tells you all you really need to know. But am I right, or am I right? Here's a sample of James from the era I'm referencing on the (incredibly unlikely) chance you don't know what I'm referring to.

So?

Weekend plans!

If you're going to any of these events, let me know! If you want to go to either or both of the first two events, let me know! (Sorry, I can't get you into Liz Phair though, so please don't even ask.)

Looks to be a fun weekend in Chicago, so don't let it pass you by!

Friday, June 8

The Kickback at Sleeping Village (9 p.m.)


Saturday, June 10

Do312's Rock'N'Roll Market behind East Room ( 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.)

Liz Phair at The Empty Bottle (9 p.m.)

Let's all "Start Again" with Bishop Allen.

Photo by Matt Petricone

I've been vacuuming up new music lately, one of the "benefits" of having free time whilst unemployed, but I've also been digging through albums I don't listen to enough. And of course Bishop Allen's most excellent 2014 release Lights Out falls firmly into the latter camp.

Bishop Allen is another one of those wonderful bands who have been swallowed up by the internet. Their Facebook page has seen zero action since 2015, their Soundcloud is empty, and their last album isn't even on Bandcamp. But you can still get it!

If you missed them the first time around, I'm sorry. They put on terrific live shows, and wrote the kind of perfectly taut indie pop with just the right amount of bite that so many bands have attempted but few have perfected. And Lights Out was the band's masterpiece. It's perfect from beginning to end.

The band had written amazing, timeless tunes in their past ("Rain," anyone?) but Lights Out was just, well, just, well...

Perfect.

Here's the first track off Lights Out. And believe me when I say it only gets better from here. We're almost at the weekend, so hopefully this will brighten your Thursday and get you prepped for the good times ahead.



Don't wanna sit through the video? Stream the song here.

Against all odds.

I saw the doctor for my yearly physical yesterday and, astoundingly, I'm in really good shape. My cholesterol is a little high, but hey, I'm middle age and where is the surprise in that? But it's still not out of control. Everything else is, somehow, working perfectly. In six months of bad news this was one welcome piece of information!

I've cut booze out of my diet and hit the gym daily, so I'm granting much of the credit to those two things. Especially since my diet is still that of a 12-year-old's, and primarily revolves around meat and different pastas. And cheese. I do really wish I was more of adventurous eater, and could actually enjoy most vegetables, but I have come to terms that my palate is what it is.

I'm sharing this because it wasn't all that long ago I was convinced my body was falling apart. But a few simple changes have made all the difference. The human body is a miraculous thing and, in many cases, will reset itself to baseline health in a pretty short period of time.

Next up? Quitting smoking! But maybe not just quite yet...

Street Dogs prove that sometimes you just need a bunch of accessible yet politically motivated and aggressive punk sing-along anthems.

Street Dogs return with their first album in eight years on June 22. I admit, that means little to me since their new album Stand For Something Or Die For Nothing is the first I've heard of these Bostonians. And I admit I went into the album with zero expectations; so few in fact I thought I'd listen to it once, note it in my spreadsheet, and never listen to it again. But it's just so earnest and compelling while somehow managing to be ridiculously catchy I find myself going back to it again and again.

This is turning out to be a good year for politically motivated music. And I don't just mean music with political lyrics and anemic backing one tolerates due to the message, but gut-busting anthems that you want to listen to on repeat. And somehow Street Dogs managed to craft 47 minutes of just that kind of music.

In their press release that accompanied the advance of the album frontman Mike McColgan says, “The dumbing down of America is a reason to write songs in 2018. People need to wake the fuck up and realize the rich won’t drain the swamp or look after the working man and woman.” If that soundalike something you can get down with, you're going to love this album.

Secret Someones; gone but not forgotten.

I rediscovered Secret Someones over the weekend, thanks to Ye Olde tankPHONE shuffle, and wanted to share their album with you today even though it came out a few years ago. Sadly the only embed I could find was Spotify, so, yeah. I always prefer Bandcamp but what can you do?

Their Facebook page is still up, but the last post is about the group disbanding. And their website is gone. Their Bandcamp page is only selling a t-shirt, and their Soundcloud page is super outdated with the last post being over 4 years old. And they're not even that old a band!

This, I guess, is one of the perils of the digital age.

You can see my first post about the band here, that has their best song, "Headfirst," which is the aural equivalent of those first few weeks of love. Though it's also of an intensity that is difficult to keep up with, much like that first flash of infatuation.

The big bummer is Secret Someones were just a little too ahead of their time. Had they surfaced now, the whole HAIM and Aces camp of fans would love them. (And they were on an Interscope subsidiary even!) But, ah well.

The ridiculous rush to review albums within hours after their release, and a few possible alternatives.

Photo by Don Linville

O.K., I've been guilty of reviewing albums minutes after their release. But that was, like, eleven years ago! And I'm pretty sure if you dig you can probably find a couple rush reviews in my own past besides that, but it was something I fought pretty hard against during my time at Chicagoist.

I realize part of this problem is that now we live in a time where many major artists no longer send out preview copies of their new albums, and many are launching surprise releases. But that's still no excuse to rush a review just to grab pageviews.

Rush reviews are even more pointless because with streaming, the general public are going to be able to listen to the entire album a few times before the first hastily types review even comes out, so what is even the point?

Plus, they all read almost exactly the same. I follow a LOT of music websites in the RSS feeds and it's almost laughable how the exact same posts from different sites pop up within seconds on each other saying the exact same thing. We're moving past the days where maximum eyes matter and the quality of the readers are more appealing to advertisers (if that's your focus which, gasp!, of course it's not (it is, there's no way around it since someone has to pay the bills since readers, for the most part, aren't doing so)).

Here are a few alternative ideas. Consider these thought-starters, and not ultimate solutions. But there's gotta be a better way.

• The easiest? Follow the Consequence of Sound model and immediately post a quick blurb with a link to the stream. (Though I have issues with CoS constantly embedding Apple Music players since they are pointless unless you're a subscriber to that service. And, of course, CoS is also guilty of the rush review. But I have always liked their practice of that initial, "here's the stream" post. Again, don't embed a subscriber service though. Ugh.)

• When you know something is coming, like Kanye West's release this week, have a package ready to go that ranks all his previous albums. Once the review is written you can both run the review and republish the ranking article with the new album's place in the oeuvre. No, this isn't perfect since you probably can't accurately rank where an album falls without the benefit of more time, and of course "ranking posts" are always dubious, but at least it's kinda fun and buys you some time.

• Run a writer's roundtable of first impressions so you get various viewpoints, but don't have to pretend it's a comprehensive critical review. I like this because you're not granting the piece the validity of a single critical eye and are admitting, "Hey, we're all hearing different things this first time around. Get back to us in a week!"

• Just refuse to run a review until you've had a few days to digest the album. Period.

Feelin' optimistic?

It's been a rough week, but I made some pretty huge decisions that I think will have an immensely positive impact on my life. I'm under tremendous pressure for a variety of reasons, but I've taken steps to at least try and meet head on the multitude of challenges being simultaneously thrown my way.

It's funny how much the trajectory of my life parallels my dad's. He too went from a very successful executive type to almost starting from the ground up due to a series of unfortunate events. And the first half of 2018 has thrown obstacles in my way that almost makes me envy how easy Job had it in the belly of that whale. But I have faith everything will work out. I'm an extremely determined and focused person, and while I've never had to leap so many hurdles placed so ridiculously close together, that doesn't mean I'm giving up on the race and abandoning the finish line.

My former creative director was talking to me a few weeks ago, and shared that he believed everyone goes through a phase like this, only mine seemed a little more daunting than most. But that after it's all over I'll be so much stronger, and find an inner happiness driven by a sense of accomplishment, that the whole thing will eventually be worth it.

I believe him.

I NEED to see this band live!

Too funny. This post was drafted on Sept. 9, 2016 and then I never got around to publishing it! I did notice the first time I actually did write about them was even earlier than this. Too funny. My brain is obviously Swiss cheese at times (though I'm working on changing that since I currently have the free time to do so).

Clearly I have seen Beach Slang live since then. But since yesterday's posts was kinda heavy I figured I'd go back through my draft post for something that never made it in prime time, and...

The wedding ring.

I haven’t heard her voice in months, and while that has probably helped it’s also weird to have a decade of your life wiped away like that. We ran into each other recently at a book release party but didn't talk.

So ... I still wear my wedding ring, it’s just on my right hand now. Hey, it’s a nice ring! Seriously, I think I mostly wear it to remind myself of both the good times and to keep in mind the mistakes that were made so I don’t make them again. I hope the ring I gave her might serve a similar function, but for all I know she's already sold it. Which would obviously be her right.

Marriage was hard for me. I kept pulling away and to this day I still am not completely sure why. But that’s what therapy is for, right? And friends willing to tell you hard truths about things you hadn’t noticed about yourself that were apparently obvious to everyone else on the planet. I’ve also managed to keep up with posting positive and not divisive stuff. From what I can tell I definitely lost most of the mutual friends in the divorce, so that just wasn’t being helpful.

My friend last week told me she thought that the fact I still wore the ring was a sign of not letting go. And I thought about it. And thought. And thought. And realized she was wrong. I let go a while ago. And so did Mich. And from what I hear—mutual friends seem to insist on keeping me up to date even though I have zero contact with her—she's doing great. Which makes me happy. She deserves more than what I could give her at the time. I’m also told she’s writing again, which makes me even happier, because she has an excellent voice, and she's witty and insightful, and the idea of her not writing means the world would be missing out on something special.

Today is our third and last wedding anniversary. I don’t know if I’ll ever wear another wedding ring on my left hand again, but to me the current ring on my right hand is both a symbol of the past and a way to focus on the future.

This song always makes me cry.

It's just so good, and if you've ever seen it live you'd understand why I cry.

I have over 3000 unread emails.

Not a brag. More a "what the heck?!"

16 years.

Yow.

I started this little blog 16 years ago.

It's gotten me jobs. It's gotten me in trouble. It's gotten me girlfriends. It's gotten me friends. It's made me enemies. It's helped out tons of bands. It probably helped me find my wife. It probably helped me lose my wife. It's been a daily outlet for me. It's driven me crazy. It's helped me keep sane. It's hosted countless photos of kittens and beagles. It's the first place I went to write when my dad died. It's where I've definitely shared TMI.

Here was the original description of the site I wrote in 2002:

Rantings, ravings, short stories and lists of stuff that everyone should own, read or avoid...um, yeah.

It really hasn't changed much since then, huh?

If you were here at the beginning. Wow. You are really old! But no matter when you stumbled across this site, I'm glad you've been around.

Today I have more readers than ever before. 16 years on that seems really weird to me, but I don't take a single one of you for granted. And not to sound weird, but even if I had zero readers I'd keep writing. But I'm happy you're here. And I hope 16 years from now you still will be.

Because I'm not going anywhere.

Taking a break.

I decided I'd give myself a week to just chill out and figure stuff out. I guess tomorrow is the end of that. And kind of an anniversary, so the timing seems right.

Deadpool 2.

Still don't feel like writing, but if you want meta meta po-mo meta, you will enjoy Deadpool 2.

Soooooo....

Big life changes. Even more than usual. More later.

Here comes the summer.

How does Cheap Trick keep being so good while other bands their age sound so flabby and uninspired?!