I wasn’t going to post anything today.

I wasn’t. But then I did. See?

PRIVATE TO KIP: Thanks a fucking lot for getting those singing lesbian sisters stuck in my head. I finally figured it out. They’re like Dashboard Confessional post Gil Norton. Or Damone with no balls.

PRIVATE TO RAY NAGIN: I know you didn't mean to say "God is mad at America." Obviously you meant to say "George Bush hates black America." We here at Tankboy Enterprises understand, and forgive, your intial slip. Next time, though, let Kanye do the talking for you.

PRIVATE TO GOD: Whenever you're ready to strike George W. down with that lightning bolt...