Thursday, May 06, 2004

Unspeakably tragic, yet life affirming.

On my way into work today I got a frantic, tear-streaked phone call from Photogal. She had been driving along the highway when she saw a mother duck with about ten baby ducks trapped on the median. She pulled off at the next exit, called the cops for help and got back on the highway to park by the stranded duckies. When she got there she was too late, though, since the mother duck must have decided to soldier on and she and all of her babies were smashed into the road.

This is a sad but inevitable story of man’s intrusion on nature and the inevitable consequences. So while I feel said for the animals that were killed I also can rationalize the fact that such things do happen, they suck and life goes on. What almost reduced me to tears was the pain I could hear in my girlfriend’s voice. As I’ve grown older I’ve begun to realize that one of the deepest and truest indicators that I absolutely love someone is the fervent desire that they never be in pain. When someone I love is in pain it’s almost more than I can stand and I’m filled with bottomless dread, great anger and threaten to break into unrestrained sobbing myself.

So I was sad to hear about the duckies, but I was devastated to hear Photogal so traumatized by the accident. This is the same girl that has called my cell and forced me to meet her under a highway overpass to rescue an injured pigeon. I’ve had to chase down kitties and have come home to a pit-bull in my apartment that she had found wandering our back alley.

I bring up these examples because, while I feel great empathy for animals and would want someone to help out Betty the beagle if she needed aid, I am also a product of society and, honestly, sometimes I don’t want to be bothered. That sounds cold but I think it’s just a a fact that most would ultimately own up to if they were honest with themselves.

Photogal cuts through this ambivalence in me and forces me to confront sadness and accept responsibility for things, while really not my problem, are within my realm of influence. So I end up in situations I would usually avoid but end up happier in the end for dealing with these things. That’s the life affirming part of this little piece. I know I’m in love when I want to suck the venom of pain out of another’s heart and take its mantle upon myself. I also know I’m in love when I find myself doing the right thing whether I feel like it or not due to the positive influence of another. So while I am sad about the duckies fling off to that great pond in the sky I am glad they afforded me this opportunity to recognize just a few of the reasons why I think the person I’m with is tops.

So enjoy ducky heaven where there are no medians and realize that in death you helped someone else see some of the brighter things in life.

No comments: