Civility dies amongst the well manicured lawns.So Tuesday I went on a quest to find the new
Sufjan Stevens album with the “illegal” cover. I figured that even though
there was a cease and desist order against selling it I should be able to catch one that fell through the cracks. The funny thing is I wasn’t even that anxious to own the disc until I found out it was due to become an instant collector’s item. I was going to buy it but it certainly wasn’t the kind of release that would necessitate a trip to the record store the morning of the album’s release.
Unfortunately I am, at the base of it all, a rabid collector and as soon as I heard that I might not be able to have this particular rarity I decided that I couldn’t live without it. So I drove around the desolate plains that pass for the suburbs I work in searching for the disc in vain. I did find an independent record shop that had a single copy behind the counter but they wouldn’t sell it to me since the owner had already promised the label he would send it back.
This was frustrating but not nearly as frustrating as what would next occur. I was in a local strip mall, on my third pass through the jam-packed parking lot looking for a space, when I saw an minivan preparing to back out. I waited patiently but noticed that an SUV had pulled up near the spot I was waiting for. We could plainly see each other so I thought nothing of it and waited my turn for my space. As soon as the vehicle I was waiting for cleared though, the SUV zoomed into the spot! I couldn’t believe it!
I pulled up behind them, jumped out of my car and upon noticing the driver was a teenager I said,” Hey kid, what do you think you’re doing? You just totally stole that spot I was waiting for?” I stood next to him and saw his dad was also in the car. I calmly awaited an apology from the teen driver.
Instead, the dad yelled, “Hey, we didn’t see you waiting. And anyway, we got here first!”
I was stunned. Was this the way frown-ups talk? I was ready to totally back down. I mean, I reckoned it could’ve been an honest mistake and was expecting a civil, “Oh we didn’t see you. Really sorry about that. Should we move?” to which I would’ve graciously answered, “Of course not. Simple mistake. Just try to look out a little better next time, okay?”
But no, I get some pasty fat slob and his cushy kid throwing me attitude. So I return with intimations that while they are inside I might do something terrible to their car and walk away
¹. The father tries to get my license plate but can’t see it so he starts running after me around the parking lot. I find this amusing but finally find a space and park only to have the guy run up to me, huffing and puffing and yelling, “Way to try and scare a kid like that!”
I said, “Way to show your kid proper manners and social civility, dude.” Okay, I might have lost points for the dude bit, but my blood had started boiling again. I mean, one: I was right about the manners thing and two: I never threatened, or would threaten, his kid! After seeing the way his dad was acting I figured that it would of course only seem natural for this young man to snatch another person’s parking spot without even a second thought. On top of that, I didn’t even actually threaten their car! All I tried to do was make the dad think about his actions a little…but I guess it’s asking a bit too much to expect some pompous ass to do a little self-reflection and see the error of his ways.
Anyway, I left it at that and left the two by my car as they frantically scribbled down my plate number. Big deal. And of course the Stevens CD wasn’t even in the store I had been heading to in the first place.
However the karma train did pull into the station for me since I finally found a copy of the album, with the “banned” artwork, at my very next stop. So see, sometimes good things do happen to good people!
¹I would never ever ever do anything like that. I think it’s terrible. But I have no problem scaring the shit out of rich fucks who are terrified their overpriced rides might get scuffed or something. Pricks._________Tonight is just jam-packed with fun.
There is so much fun to be had tonight that Kip is all tuckered out just thinking about it. I however, as you can plainly see, am totally stoked!
First of all I’m DJing at
Double Door for the
Sloan show. Doors are at 8pm and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to spin during the set change, since no one can seem to get a hold of their tour manager, so if you want to be sure to hear Le Selecionnes de Tankboy you need to either get there early or stay late. There’s only one opening band and Sloan themselves are on the “greatest hits” tour so the set should be amazing.
Also amazing is the bill I set up across town at
The Beat Kitchen with
Textbook,
The Melismatics,
Moth and
The Assembly. Things there will kick off at 9pm and be done by 12:15 or so, so there’s no excuse to miss it even if it’s a school night. Unless you’re going to see Sloan in which case we all totally understand.
